We Got This!

(Boston Dirt Dogs / Jamison Odone Illustration)

The Fighting LeBrons Set to Crush Yankees in Home Opener

John Henry's Store-Bought Offense Will Shine Like the April Sun Today
John Lackey Is Going to Earn Every Penny of His Insane Contract Today
The Boston Defenders Will Catch Every Ball That's Hit in Play Today
Phil Hughes Will Cry and Crumble Before He Takes the Field Today
Carl Crawford Will Be a One Hundred Forty Two Million Dollar Player Today
Adrian Gonzalez Will Tattoo the CVS Mini Clinic Sign on the Left Field Wall
Fans Will Line Up to Take Photos of the New Cement Floor in the Concourse
And Terry Francona Will Manage Like Brad Mills Is Calling the Shots Next to Him