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HENCH’S HARDBALL

Of Mystery and Misery

6.15.02:  Sometimes no matter the strength of your newfound conviction, the depth or your resolve, the seriousness of your commitment to caring more about dirty nukes and Clean Air Act rollbacks than 0-2 pitch selection... well, you find yourself backsliding into familiar bewildered fury.

Why, oh, why would a pitcher whose just given up a 500-foot foul ball on a 93-mph fastball to get ahead 0-2 come back with another fastball? Think about it. If a hitter was out in front of a fastball, isn't he primed for a change or a knee-buckling curve? And with runners on first and third, which of Pedro's three pitches is Gary Sheffield least likely to ground into a double play? That's right, fastball. Why Varitek called for the fastball up and why Pedro didn't shake him off is one of those thousands of sad mysteries that all - in their perplexing little ways - contribute to this unending cycle of misery.

Other misery-inducing mysteries that come to mind:

What the hell has happened to Trot Nixon? He is suddenly a horrible baseball player. Tough as nails, to be sure. A big heart, no doubt. But have you happened to see the last 10 jumps he's gotten on pop flies to shallow right? He breaks on the ball after it starts coming down. And didn't he used to have decent speed? He hit a ball that kicked twenty feet away from Todd Helton in the Colorado series and was still out by a step at first. And tonight Keith Lockhart robbed him with an all-out dive up the middle and threw him out easily from right near the second base bag. He looks like he's loping when he runs. He moves like a guy who should hit 35 homers, which is what we all started to expect when he pushed his slugging percentage over .500 last year. I've heard murmurs that he's hurt. But where? How? His sudden swoon into late-career Ivan Calderon-like anti-productivity is perhaps the biggest mystery of the season.

Mystery No. 3 is how - after all that preamble - does a New York Met get hit in the head last night and then, without retaliation, that weak-kneed sorry excuse for a team folds in the ninth and 10th? Felix Rodriguez and Robb Nen combine to blow the rubber game of the Giants-Yankees series, then Bob Brenly gives away the middle game of the D-Backs-Yankees series by serving up Bret Prinz, then tonight Armando Benitez continues the Major League-wide largesse to the pinstripers. What is going on? Please, can't anyone play this game when they're playing the Yankees? I mean, Robb Nen gives up a two-run double to Nick Johnson on a 1-2 pitch? Bob Brenly, who has to be the worst manager to ever win a World Series, opts for Prinz against Ventura over the Unit or even Mike Myers against Ron Coomer? And then, apparently not having anticipated Torre's move, Brenly is forced to walk Ventura and load the bases in a one run game for a guy whose biggest problem is throwing strikes. What an idiot! Thanks a lot, moron. And you have to hand it to Benitez, he only blows big games. Never an April game against the Marlins. Thanks for nothing, you jackasses.

Oh, and while I'm handing out Jackass Citations, here's one for Jason Schmidt, who helped keep the A's undefeated in interleague play and closing in our rearview by walking a frickin' American League pitcher to start a rally.

Mystery No. 4 - Why is Shea Hillenbrand suddenly showing that spastic
incontinence at the plate again? The avalanche of 0-2 counts and lunging swings at pitches off the plate epitomize the ugliness of this past week.

Mystery No. 5 - Tony Clark.

Mystery No. 6 - How the hell are we in first place?

Hurry, Manny, hurry.

And if all this weren't troubling enough, we can look forward to even more acid rain in our beloved New England from those belching smokestacks of the Midwest. Hard to believe anyone could be a bigger disappointment than Tony Clark, but Christine Todd Whitman is hitting .000 at the EPA.       Hardball



Wild Card Wannabees

AL Wild

W

L

GB

Oakland

46

36

---

Boston

45

37

1.0

Anaheim

44

39

2.5

Chicago

42

38

3.0

Tampa Bay

42

41

4.5

AL East

W

L

GB

New York

51

31

---

Boston

45

37

6.0

Tampa Bay

42

41

9.5

Toronto

38

46

14.0

Baltimore

36

45

15.0


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The “Curt’s Pitch for ALS” program is a joint effort by Curt and Shonda Schilling, and The ALS Association Mass Chapter to strike out Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis, more commonly known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease.

Curt and Shonda will be contributing $25,000 to The ALS Association Massachusetts Chapter, and they are asking fans to contribute as well. All proceeds will benefit research and patient services for those in Massachusetts affected by the disease. Program participants will receive different incentive prizes based on the dollar amount per strikeout that they pledge. Please click here to learn more about the program.

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