The End Game

Andrew Bailey of the Oakland Athletics celebrates after defeating the New York Yankees on July 23, 2011 at Yankee Stadium in the Bronx borough of New York City.
(Bailey in the Bronx 2011 - Jim McIsaac / Getty Images)

Ben's Pen Finally Shaping Up As
Bailey's Shipping Up to Boston

Red Sox Close Deal for Andrew Bailey
Not-Ready-for-Right Reddick and Two Single-A's Headed to A's
This Just In: Tommy John Gives the Trade Two Thumbs Up
Contrary to Rumors, Bailey Did Not Injure His Right Arm
Picking Up the Phone Yesterday to Address the Media
But at 250-and-Counting Big Bail Is Heavily Favored to Win the
Popeye's Chicken Eating Contest This Spring

"Bobby and I are good friends. Bobby and I have a good relationship. He's excited to have me on board and I'm excited to be there for him. We're both looking forward to it. It helps knowing someone going in." -- Bailey and Bobby V... coming to a cribbage board near you...

Uniform Change

Carl Crawford He Hate Me
(BDD Photo Illustration)

This Just In: Carl Crawford to Wear New Road Jersey in 2012
As Red Sox Marketing Plans Take Shape

John Henry and Bobby Valentine Both Take Credit for the Idea
Red Sox Team Store Expects to More Than Double the 8 Crawford Jerseys Sold in 2011
Another Dubious Distinction for the $142M Man

'Twas the Night Before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Nation,
Not a rumor was stirring, still a state of trepidation;
Red Stockings were hung with the greatest collapse last year,
Now the hope is Bobby V makes chicken and beer disappear

Theo Epstein was nestled all smug in his bed,
His Craw-Lackey deals nearly left us for dead;
And Werner in his ascot, and John thinking salary cap,
Stealing the rights to Rudolph, after not paying Pap

When out on the web there arose such a clatter,
Did Ben get a closer? There's 500 tweets on the matter,
Away to Fenway we flew in a dash,
Tore open the laptop, camera ready to flash

Who’s breaking the story? Who's the source in the know?
Is it Madson’s big payday? Did the Sox spend some dough?
When, what to our wondering eyes should appear,
But our old friend Manny, with a smile ear-to-ear

For just $1 million, and no more of his schtick
We knew in a moment, it was Larry’s latest trick
Then more rapid than building the park called JetBlue,
Bobby whistled, and shouted, knowing clearly who’s who

"Now Dauber! now, D-Lowe! now, Nomar and Nixon!
On, Pedro! El Guapo! on, Rickey and Damon!"
Bobby knows his Red Sox through and through
(But he hasn’t been in Baseball since 2002)

‘Greatest Team Ever,’ Herald headlines won’t say
Sox hope not to repeat 'Team Disarray Fades Away'
But maybe God has different plans, A-Gon will tell all
Carl may learn how to hit, or at least return Bobby’s call

And then, in a twinkling, he strolled to the mound,
The prancing and pawing of this tough talking hound,
He turned into his windup, beer belly twisting around,
Down toward home plate, the ball took off with a bound;

He spoke only to Bobby, then just put in his work,
Sure he dropped a few pounds, but he still acts like a jerk,
His eyes—how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!
After a few beers in the dugout—his nose like a cherry!

He threw just like in '07, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment, Beckett had the old kick;
His heater’s mid-nineties, the curve ball has bite,
Mark him down for a win every fifth night!

And Lester and Buchholz came in fit, trim, and healthy
Lackey’s chillin’ at home, thanks to Theo he's wealthy
Dustin showed up before sunrise, Youk looks ready to play
But ‘Tek and Tim Wakefield have long since gone away

Ells keeps getting better, before he says his goodbye
Gonzo feels more at home, but he’s still pretty shy
Papi had the old stroke back, when he hit ‘em they flew,
They all batted around, the unnamed rightfielder, too!

The crowd sprang to their feet, to the team gave a whistle,
Salty circled the bases, Bard threw another missile;
A new year is upon us and the Olde Towne ballclub,
"No more fat, drunk, and lazy! PENNANT FEVER GRIPS HUB!"

...with apologies as always to Clement Clarke Moore and Henry Livingston, Jr.
Merry Christmas, Boston Dirt Dogs

The Sox Factor



Animation by Stregan

Carmine Returns While We Wait for a Big Splash from Big Ben

Looks Like the Biggest Offseason Deals for the Red Sox Were Christmas at Fenway, BobbyVmania, and the Photo Op at JetBlue Park

"We don’t have as much room in our payroll as we’ve had in previous years." -- Ben Cherington, feeling the pain of Theo's 2012 payroll, which pays A-Gon and Crawford $42M, and Beckett and Lackey $33M


Small Bengine Parts

Frank Galasso Illustration
(Boston Dirt Dogs / Frank Galasso, cartoonist)

Cherington Installs Small Replacement Parts Shoppach, Melancon, and Punto,
But Hanley Ramirez Isn't Walking Through That Garage Door Anytime Soon


Et Tu, on Tebow?

BDD / James MacLeod Cartoons
(BDD / James MacLeod Cartoons)

Frank Galasso Illustration

and Pick Up Frank Galasso's Boston Bruins Stanley Cup Championship Litho Here

C You Later
Red Sox catcher Jason Varitek
(Jim Davis / Boston Globe Staff)

It's All Over Between Captain Collapse and the Red Sox
You Can Say Goodbye to Jason Varitek

Red Sox Do a Little Christmas Shoppach
ESPN Source: Red Sox Agree to Deal with Old Friend Kelly Shoppach
Thanks for the Memories Jason, Especially Those Little World Series Titles
This Is Your Captain Speaking with Straight Face: No Clubhouse Turmoil
And the News We've All Been Waiting For: Matt Albers is Back
More Good News: Bobby V Said No More Jersey with a C
We Go Way Back with 'Tek


When Push Came to Shove

July 24, 2004

'Tek Got His Biggest Hit on July 24, 2004


Jason Varitek fight club

2009 ... Good Times ...

BDD_JV_runs_ZT_8509.jpg
(BDD Photo Illustration / Zach Tyler)

But He'll Always Have St. Louis

Champagne Kings
High Tek

(Getty Images Photos)

It's Ben a While ...

BDD - Red Sox front office

(BDD Photo Illustration)

... Let's Make Some Noise in this Place!

Sox Were All Hat and No Cattle in Texas: Globe Story.
And They Continue to Sit Tight Fisted.


YEAH BOIIII

bdd_seguin_flav_dpronto.jpg
(BDD Photo Illustration / D. Proto)

Watch Out Ladies, Here Comes Tyla Flaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaav

It's Any O'Clock, Do You Know Where Your Young Center Is?


Now Available on DVD

BDD Photo Illustration / Mr. Punchy
(BDD Photo Illustration / Mr. Punchy)

bdd_mikebriggz_jetsbook.jpg

Happy Holidays from www.thingsthatmightannoy.com

Big Deal
David Ortiz
(Jim Davis / Boston Globe File)

The Old DH Is Coming Back, But Where Are the New Guys?

ESPNDeportes: Ortiz Coming Back One Way or Another
MLB Announces Dress Code, But No Word on Style, Fitness, or Mouthwash
Part of the Problems: Wakefield and Varitek Expected to End Up Elsewhere
Goodbye and Hello Again: Hale Out as Sox Coach; Bogar, Tuck Back
John Farrell Wasn't Walking Through That Door
Mazz: Red Sox Have Done Little to Improve
Closer? We Don't Need No Stinkin' Closer


Trading Places

'Not Reality TV... Reality'

Can You Cha-Cha?



Because Bobby V Can, And He Can Dance If He Wants To

Ballroom Bobby V Owns the Floor
Just What Kind of Content God Is This Guy?
Dancing with the Stars Spinoff Series: Dancing with Bobby V.
The Fun Begins at 1:34; His Best Move Is at 3:48
Can Diamond Replace Neil Diamond at Fenway?
Somewhere in Texas, Josh Beckett Just Burped
Be Sure to Watch It Til the End
More Bobby V Cha-Cha
'10!' -- Len Goodman

"Can you cha-cha?" -- Bobby V, KIing of the ballroom in Japan and beyond

Now Playing
BDD Photo Illustration / Mike F.
(BDD Photo Illustration / Mike F.)

Starring Bobby V., Co-Starring Bobby V.,
Produced and Directed By... Larry L.

Bobby V. Heads to the Dominican to Baby David

"Do I have to explain what I’m capable of doing? Everybody already knows. I’m not even going to go there. We just need to get into an agreement and when that happens, it’s game on." -- David Ortiz, The Negotiator


And That's a Wrap on the Wraps

bobby_v_wrap.jpg
(BDD Photo Illustration / Rich Hinds)

Hello Media, No More Wrap Questions in Bobby V Q&As, Please

Or Questions About Ballroom Dancing, Pressed Shirts, Pancake Eating Contests, Directing Traffic, High School Science Projects, Or O.J. Simpson


Bobby Weeeeeee!

BDD_bobbyv_pole.jpg
(John Tlumacki / Boston Globe Staff)

BV: 'I'm Not Polarizing'

Video: Valentine's Presser Was a Bit Underwhelming


bdd_bobbyvsanta_fg.jpg

Speaking of Christmas,
Get Frank Galasso's Boston Bruins Stanley Cup Championship Litho Here

Let It Snow


Because Bobby V Will Keep Things Moving All Night Long

"Yeah, I'm the Safety Director... This is my job. I've been doing it since 3:00 in the morning." -- Bobby V. to Wendy Ha-Ha Gilette during Conn. snowstorm

NY Times Archives: Valentine, Grinning, and Grimacing
Sports Illustrated Archives: Valentine Had the Last Laugh

BDD is a feature of Boston.com. The site is not produced by the Boston Globe sports dept.

Boston Globe:

Red Sox agree to deal with Pierzynski > Sox non-tender Bailey, Kalish > Sox face arbitration decisions

Boston Herald:

Sox set Bailey, Kalish free > Doug Fister dealt to Nats > White Sox agree to 1-year contract with C Flowers

ProJo:

Pierzynski reaches deal with Red Sox > Kalish, Bailey non-tendered > Mike Napoli still ideal at first base > Middlebrooks, Red Sox both looking for improvement

NY Post:

Cashman pessimistic on Yankees re-signing Cano > Report: A-Rod called PEDs 'Food'

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