Deep Six: Wake, No Funeral

Deep Six Can't Sink Sox

After Costing Sox Games, Some Ortiz Payback

Wake Survives Six Detroit Bombs, Avoids Funeral, Gets Win,
Low-Cal Ripken Out Sick (Not Pharyngitis) Again

Flu-like Fielder Stays on Bench but Youk is Served as Offense Outlasts Tiger Attack 11-9

Comfortably Dumb

Kentucky Fried Should Wear Dunce Cap Tonight

Lou Piñata Loses Respect of Nation for Good

Insert Post-Meeting Backpeddle Here: "I wanted to apologize to Terry. I didn't want this to turn out where he's the bad guy... I'm not challenging Terry Francona as manager... he's always been loyal to me (and then some wouldn't you say?)... but this isn't a situation that's going to last. We turn the page... and we go on. That's basically it." -- Kevin "Don't Come to Fenway No More Then, Media That Don't Pay Me are "Riff-Raff," Now Go Buy Some Ice Cream and Fried Chicken" Millar

Francoma Flips Out and Lays Down the Law with Millar: "I'm not sure the way he handled it is the way I would have wanted him to handle it."

(Yankee fans, front office types, players, and especially Big Stein are simply laughing their asses off at this laughing-stock of a team right now.)