Bud Selig Clueless on Steroids

February 9, 2005 | 10:36 PM

Bud Selig Clueless on Steroids

The Commissioner
Wears No Clothes

(AP Photo)

Selig Thinks You're Stupid

Bud Light Wants You to Believe He's a Dummy
(Unless He's Lying)

"While whispers of steroid use in baseball date back more than a decade, when bulked-up players began hitting homers in record numbers, Selig said he hadn't heard the rumors until about 1998, when McGwire broke Roger Maris' single-season home run mark.

''I never even heard about it,'' Selig said. ''I ran a team and nobody was closer to their players and I never heard any comment from them. It wasn't until 1998 or '99 that I heard the discussion."
-- Bud Selig on Steroid Crisis

So Bud's the Only One Who Didn't Hear the
"Ster-oids! Ster-oids!" Chants at Fenway in 1988?
Or for the Next 10 Years Afterwards?

LIAR, LIAR: "I don't know if there were allegations in the early '90s," Selig said. "I never heard of them."

"Fourteen years ago (1988) the crowd at Fenway Park in Boston chided Oakland A's outfielder Jose Canseco during the American League Championship Series with damning chants of "Ster-oids! Ster-oids!" The game had never before seen a physical marvel such as Canseco, a 240-pound hulk who could slug a baseball 500 feet and still be swift enough to steal 40 bases. Upon retiring last month after failing to catch on with a major league team, Canseco, while not admitting steroid use himself, said that steroids have "revolutionized" the game and that he would write a tell-all book blowing the lid off drug use in the majors. Canseco estimated that 85% of major leaguers use steroids." -- Sports Illustrated, June 3, 2002

And Why Wasn't Anything Done in 2002 Bud?
(We Know, Those Slimebags Fehr and Orza)

"No one denies that it is a problem," says commissioner Bud Selig. "It's a problem we can and must deal with now, rather than years from now when the public says, 'Why didn't you do something about it?' I'm very worried about this." -- Sports Illustrated, June 3, 2002

Schill Certainly Knew the Drill

"Arizona Diamondbacks righthander Curt Schilling thinks twice before giving a teammate the traditional slap on the butt for a job well-done. "I'll pat guys on the ass, and they'll look at me and go, 'Don't hit me there, man. It hurts,'" Schilling says. "That's because that's where they shoot the steroid needles."

"You sit there and look at some of these players and you know what's going on," he says. "Guys out there look like Mr. Potato Head, with a head and arms and six or seven body parts that just don't look right. They don't fit. I'm not sure how [steroid use] snuck in so quickly, but it's become a prominent thing very quietly. It's widely known in the game.

"We're playing in an environment in the last decade that's been tailored to produce offensive numbers anyway, with the smaller ballparks, the smaller strike zone and so forth," Schilling continues. "When you add in steroids and strength training, you're seeing records not just being broken but completely shattered.

"I know guys who use and don't admit it because they think it means they don't work hard. And I know plenty of guys now are mixing steroids with human growth hormone. Those guys are pretty obvious." -- Sports Illustrated, June 3, 2002

Now That's the Ticket

Some Non-Scalpers and Non-Net-Savvy Fans Will Actually Be Able to Buy Some Overpriced Tickets This Season through the Red Sox Monster Seat/Yankees Game Drawing
(Unless Your Email is on the MLB.com Black List of Course)

"Oh thank you, thank you, dear Red Sox, for the chance to be on of the CHOSEN FEW. Those who will, once again, be thrown into the Waiting Room from Hell. No escape....No tickets for the masses. The only hope I have of EVER getting a choice seat that are available in this so-called "lottery" is if I pay some guy with 15 vowels in his name 10x face value of the ticket on the Mass Pike overpass. Until the Red Sox fix this disgrace of a system, I'd rather spend my 2 hours of useless torture slamming me head in my car door. At least when I do that there is the off chance I might decide there is pain, and stop." -- 2.10.05 Tim Frost, Red Sox fan

Gammo Knows Web Gems

Peter Gammons Hall of Fame Chat Wrap

andy2dandy: What's your take was on the increasingly popular baseball bloggers? Do you think this may eventually change sports writing?

Gammons: I think the Internet and blogging has already dramatically changed journalism. It's not bad, it's actually quite democratic. I find myself going to the Boston DirtDogs site every morning to see what's going on.
(Yikes, we've got to start getting up earlier)

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