McGwire can hide behind a stop sign

"Twiggy" McGwire Makes a Public Appearance
Roger Maris Turns Over in His Grave

(Mark McGwire - Getty Images - Feb. 15, 2005)	(Mark McGwire - NBC Photo - Jan. 25, 1999)

I Want My MVP – Ode to The Gator

To: Money for Nothing by Dire Straits

I want my, I want my MVP
I want my, I want my MVP

Now look at them bozos, that's the way you do it
I played the outfield, I’m the MVP
That ain't workin', that's the way you do it
Money for nothin' and your chicks for free
Now that ain't workin', that's the way you do it
Lemme tell ya, them guys ain't class
Jose get a needle on your upper biceps
Maybe get a needle in the ass.

We got to visit all of the ballparks
Custom bleacher deliveries
Now we gotta show some love to the Gator
We got to watch some NASCAR movies

The little Yankee with the money and no makeup
Yeah, buddy, that's his own flair
That little A-Rod got his own jet airplane
That little A-Rod he's a billionaire

I shoulda learned to play the outfield
I shoulda learned to play the wall
Look at that pitcher, he got it movin' for the camera
Man I could hit that ball

And I’m up here, hit fifty-seven homers
My last six years; in ’92 hit two-three-three,
Oh, that ain't workin' that's the way you do it
Get your money for nothin' get your chicks for free

Now that ain't workin' that's the way you do it
I play the outfield, should be the MVP
That ain't workin' that's the way you do it
Money for nothin' and your chicks for free

--Ron Sen, Boston Dirt Dogs

Would-Be 1988 MVP Mike Greenwell Talks to WEEI's D&C About the Plethora of Steroids in Baseball in the 1980's. Of Course Head-in-Sand Selig, Quick Sandy Alderson, and Tony the Absolute Phony Flip-Flopper La Russa Knew Nothing Until 1998