Paul Pierce - Always the Bridesmaid

Who's the Bigger Phony?

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(AP Photos)

Pierciaparra, Always the Bridesmaid
The Sulkster Wants the Ball Tonight
Remember Paul, Walk, Don't Run.

The Fortune .500's are Back

They're Back...

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(Term Coined by Tony Massarotti July 2004 / Boston Dirt Dogs Illustration / Nicolas Brown)

They Make a Fortune, and They're Playing .500 Baseball. Again.
Another Texas Mess as Hitless Wonders Lose 7-2

Staff dropping like flies, but Miller on the rise

While the Senior Starters are Dropping Like Flies

Boston Dirt Dogs

(Boston Dirt Dogs Photo Illustration / Meir Weinberg)

Wade Miller is On the Rise

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(Special to Boston Dirt Dogs / Bill Caine Pawtucket Photo Gallery)

Miller Test Run a Success in Pawtucket


WEEI Big Show Audio: Gammons on Sox Status, Schilling, Steroids
And a Very Funny Whiner Line

EIGHT MEMBERS OF SOX, RAYS DISCIPLINED BY YANKEE BOB
Francona, Nixon, Arroyo Suspended. Ortiz Fined.
Do you think the suspensions are fair?

"D-Lowe, Pedro"... "D-Lowe, Pedro"...

'Pedro, D-Lowe'...
'D-Lowe, Pedro'...

Boston Dirt Dogs

(Lowe: Getty Images Photo / Lisa Blumenfeld -- Pedro: Reuters Photo)

Fuggedaboutem! Pedro Was Never Staying.
And D-Lowe Wanted Too Much Dough.

"The Red Sox made a decision last year to part ways with Pedro Martinez and Derek Lowe, who signed with new teams for a combined eight years and $89 million. In their place, the Sox signed Clement, Wells and Miller to deals totaling six years and $35 million. Of course, signings like Lowe and Martinez are long-term commitments, and those deals, too, could prove foolish by 2008. But given that the Red Sox ultimately offered Martinez three years and $40 million before losing him to the New York Mets, here is the question that remains unanswered: If the Sox were willing to give Martinez as many as three years by the time December arrived, why didn't they offer that to him in March 2004 in hopes of preventing him from going to free agency altogether?" -- Tony Massarotti, Boston Herald (...and NOT part of the cartel)

Still waiting for instructions from the cartel head

ESPN Page 2: Schilling's Guide to Life

Curt "opens up" on the media, Tom Cruise's love life, hair loss, the war on terror,
the LA Clippers, career advice, "American Idol," and more in this lame parody


BDD has no new content today as we have not yet received instruction from the Head of the Red-Sox-NESN-New-York-Times-Company-Boston-Globe-WEEI Cartel that the Boston Herald's Howard Bryant exposed* to the world yesterday. If any of the other cartel members got today's memo, please forward so we can carry out the not-so-secret agenda. Thank you.

*Boston Herald, Wednesday, April 27, 2005 -- Howard Bryant/Boston Uncommon -- Sox can't change history -- "The Red Sox are part of a growing synergistic cartel that maintains addresses at Yawkey Way, Morrissey Boulevard and Brookline Avenue (NESN's headquarters). The New York Times Company owns the Boston Globe, and a piece of the Red Sox, which owns NESN> The Sox are also business partners with WEEI, the most influential sports radio station in the region. That means that the cartel not only has the means, but a financial interest in controlling information. That includes history. Boston has always been known for its insularity, but such naked consolidation is a little too cozy to be acceptable."


More From Lou: Pinella Rips Schilling for Comments
Cartel Approved Gordon Edes Chat Wrap


KIDS: Win a chance to meet Curt Schilling and throw out the first pitch at Fenway

(This Cartel approved posting below is for everyone in Red Sox Nation, which is why it's here, you can paste to message boards or use the text in print please)

(Medfield, MA-April 28, 2005) SHADE Foundation of America's SunWise poster contest in New England is reaching thousands of students under the age of 17. In its second year in New England, the poster contest aims to make kids and teens aware of the dangers of over exposure to the sun and the simple steps to practicing sun-safety.

The contest calls for teachers to encourage students to creatively depict skin cancer prevention in an 8 1/2" x 11" poster. One winner will be chosen from each of the New England states. A grand prize winner will be selected among the New England winners. The Grand Prize winning artist will have his or her photo taken with Boston Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling and will throw out the first pitch at Fenway Park on June 4, 2005 when the Red Sox play the Los Angeles Dodgers. Each New England state winner will also have his or her photograph taken with Curt Schilling and receive two tickets to the game. Each state winner will also compete in a national online competition beginning July 5, 2005, which encourages people to select one national poster contest winner online. The artist who wins the national prize will receive a trip to Disney World in Orlando, Florida. The teacher of the winning artist will receive two tickets to the Red Sox game.

"An Environmental Protection Agency statistic states schools engaging in sun-safety programs have an 11% decrease in sunburn cases, a very encouraging statistic," said Shonda Schilling, melanoma survivor and founder of the SHADE Foundation. "Each year the number of contest entries increases, demonstrating the number of students who we are reaching with our sun-safety message."

Statistics indicate one in 5 children will develop skin cancer in their lifetime. Educating kids about the need for SPF 15 sunscreen, wearing sunglasses, hats, long sleeves and avoiding the sun during prime sun hours of 10am and 4pm is instrumental in preventing future cases of skin cancer. Shonda Schilling launched the SHADE Foundation in 2002 after undergoing 5 surgeries to remove malignant melanoma, the most deadly form of skin cancer. The annual poster contest was first created by Schilling in 2003 in Phoenix, Arizona when her husband, Curt Schilling was pitching for the Arizona Diamondbacks. When Curt Schilling was traded to the Boston Red Sox the contest traveled cross country with the Schillings.

"The tremendous response we received last year in Boston from the poster contest proved that kids were eager to participate. If they are drawing the message, we know they are learning the message. This year we are proud to be running the poster contest in 10 states reaching students about skin cancer prevention," said Shonda Schilling. "You can limit the sun without limiting the fun."

Entry forms can be downloaded from the SHADE Foundation website at www.shadefoundation.org Posters should be mailed to Boston Red Sox SunWise Poster Contest, PO Box 859066, Braintree, MA 02185-9948. Posters must be postmarked by May 9, 2005.

Going, Going, Gonzalez

Sox Starters are Going, Going... Gonzalez

Boston Dirt Dogs

(Getty Images Photo / Robbie Rogers)

"Now warming up in the bullpen for the Red Sox,
tonight's starting pitcher, Jeremi Gonzalez, Gonzalez."

Boot, Wade, Bobble, and Boomer

Boot, Wade, Bobble...

Boston Dirt Dogs

(Boston Globe Staff Photos / Jim Davis)

Curt Schilling wears a protective boot on his injured ankle. If they don't have him for a while they could try and use the "Curt Schilling Bobble Ankle Doll" that was unveiled at an earlier press conference, and for a while was on the steps of the Boston dugout. Pitcher Wade Miller runs by the doll as he heads for the clubhouse after doing some throwing in the rain this morning. Miller time won't be anytime soon.

And Boomer

Boston Dirt Dogs

(Boston Globe Staff Photo / Bill Greene)

David Wells has his sprained foot examined by team doctor Thomas Gill in the Red Sox trainer's room.

Docs Glazed Over Wells' X-Ray!

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(Boston Dirt Dogs Photo / Xpurgation)

BDD Exclusive: Sox Docs Missed Foreign Object That Caused Wells' Sprained Foot.


Today's Game Rained Out
Congratulations to Kevin and Jeanna Millar on the Birth of Their Twins Kashten and Kylie Last Night

R.I.P. Earl Wilson

R.I.P. Earl Wilson

Boston Dirt Dogs

(Boston Globe File Photo)

Earl Wilson with Red Sox catcher Bob Tillman in their dressing room June 26, 1962 after Wilson pitched a no hitter against the Los Angeles Angels at Fenway Park in Boston. Wilson also hit a home run in the 3rd inning to win the game 2-0.

Schilling going on DL Friday for bone bruise

When it Rains it Pours

Breaking News: Schilling Going on 15-Day DL on Friday with Bone Bruise on the Right Ankle

Aaaaahhhh!!!!

(Boston Dirt Dogs Photo)

A Nightmare for The Nation
Your Thoughts: Can Sox Survive Without Wells, Schilling?

"They'll be a short term challenge but a very important one for us to step up and meet. We can't rush Wade Miller because there's more of a need in the big leagues now, he'll be ready when he's ready. One step along the way is going to be Thursday for him in Pawtucket and we'll be there to watch him. There's just no pitching (outside the organization). We're going to keep looking but it's very hard to acquire pitching this time of year, so many teams looking for it. But we're lucky we've got Jeremi Gonzalez throwing well for us at Triple A, we've got Halama ready to step into the rotation and soon enough Wade Miller. We've just got to keep everyone else healthy and have other aspects of our team step up and keep playing good baseball until we get our team back." -- Theo Epstein on Red Sox pre-game show

"The term the doctors are using is a bruising of the bone. In the general area where he had problems last year. They're gonna put him in a boot for a couple of weeks. He needs to alleviate the pain. We all know he can pitch with pain, but right now this pain means that we don't want this to get worse, so they're going to alleviate the stress from it in a boot. He's going to talk to a nutritionist, a couple people, try to use these couple weeks to do the best he can at other things. And when the pain is gone he'll come back and pitch, that's about the best we know right now. He said he felt a tweak right at the very end (of his outing in Tampa). This wasn't something that was nagging him for a month or since spring training. He felt a tweak but he wasn't that concerned about it. He went out and threw a side yesterday and that's when the concern escalated a little bit because he was going to have a tough time doing his side day, so then we took it from there and we went and did the appropriate tests with the medical people. Again you just have to wait and get results back, and this is happening sometime during the game, so it gets a little quick. I do think these things happen. You're dealing with athletes that are asking exceptional things out of their body and we all know what Schill's come back from and how things like that so sometimes maybe we ask our bodies to do stuff that sometimes we just can't tolerate. We try to use the best judgment we can and we tremendous medical people, athletes are... part of the reason they're good is they push themselves. Sometimes they push too hard and you suffer the effects.We obviously sat down at length last night and this morning and tried to figure our best options out (regarding the rotation). We've got some weather issues today, so we'll get through today's game, we've got the day off tomorrow, and after today's game we'll set our rotation, we've talked to our pitchers, they have some idea what's going on. We're kind of crazy to set it in stone (with the impending rain) because it could change real quick." -- Terry Francona on with WEEI's Dale and Holley

Tejada They Fall

Tejada They Fall

Boston Dirt Dogs

(Boston Globe Staff Photo / Jim Davis)

What the...? Foulke!

Mora the Same for Baltimore at Fenway
Keith Can't Get Fastball, Changeup Past O's
Sox Falling Apart in April, Lose 11-8, Record 11-10
Kevin "The Weightlifter" Millar Has 2 Extra Base Hits, 9 RBI...
on the Season. Get Back on the Chicken Buddy
Edgar Renteria Says "Climb on My Back Boys"... Not.
Clement. 12 Hits. 4 2/3. 'Nuff Said.
Tito: We %#@! and then (expletive) %#@! they %#@! (expletive) so %#@!

One foot in the grave?

One Foot in the Grave for Sox?

Bill Caine Gallery

(Special to Boston Dirt Dogs / 4.25: Bill Caine Gallery)

David Wells Goes On DL
Could Be Out Six Weeks, DiNardo Called Up, Halama to Start

Grin and Bare It

Bill Caine Gallery

(Special to Boston Dirt Dogs / 4.25: Bill Caine Gallery)

David Wells is Escorted by Fenway Security as He Leaves the Trainer's Room to Head to Beth Israel Hospital to Have His Injured Foot X-Rayed
(Lighten Up David Fer Chrissakes, It's a Joke, Get Well Soon)

Schilling takes a few shots

"Lou's trying to make his team be a bunch of tough guys and the telling sign is when the players on that team are saying 'this is why we lose 100 games a year because this idiot makes us do stuff like this.' They said that on the field."

Schilling Fires Some Fastballs

Boston Dirt Dogs

(Boston Dirt Dogs Photo)

And Kruk, Pinella, and Magrane Go Down Looking

4.26.05: Curt Schilling on WEEI's Dennis & Callahan

On ESPN's John Kruk's saying "until David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez stop flipping the bat after home runs and disrespecting and showing up opposing pitchers, this (bean brawl) is going to continue to happen": That's crap. That's Krukie doing what he does best which is stirring up crap. This started last year and he obviously wasn't paying attention and that's not surprising. This started last year when Kazmir hit Manny and Millar and continued this year. They're (Tampa Bay) leading in hit-by-pitches by the way. One of the problems with being an analyst and not paying attention is that you miss some of the important facts of the story... John Kruk's been around this. John Kruk was involved in a scenario much like this back in the early '90's (tells story)... I don't like to see people who played the game make idiots of themselves like John did. Kruk's as much a part of the problem as he is talking about it 'cause they show it every night. And they glorify it, laugh about it, think it's funny, and guys do it for that reason.

On Rays' manager Lou Pinella: The problem is when you're playing a team with a manager who somehow forgot how the game is played, there's problems. This should have been over a little bit ago. Lou's trying to make his team be a bunch of tough guys and the telling sign is when the players on that team are saying "this is why we lose 100 games a year because this idiot makes us do stuff like this." They (Rays' players) said that on the field.

On Rays' television color analyst Joe Magrane: Magrane said on Sunday’s telecast during the bench clearing “Schilling running his mouth again, shocking Dwayne (Staats), shocking. He’s too old for this. He threw his walker down and tried to make his way out there." He’s an idiot. He’s a frickin’ idiot. The funny part about that is a guy’s who’s career is over at 24-25. He was a sub .500 pitcher who obviously… he came into the big leagues with a lot of… he was a high pick, but getting on my health when he was done at 25 and I had my best years after I was 34, I mean there’s kind of an irony there I guess, I don’t know, but you know Joe Magrane was a tool when he played, and he is now. I mean he’s the kind of guy when you’re in the clubhouse and the game’s on, you turn the sound down. It’s tiring to listen to, and it’s the same way when he played. But you expect that from people like Joe. That’s how he was when he played. He was an idiot.

The Nation Speaks

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Random observations from The Nation:

Hanley loves Jeter? "I just saw the little clip where protégé Hanley Ramirez has decided he idolizes Derek Jeter. Now before I say this, it should be pointed out that I am a die hard sox fan, with roots in Bangor, Maine, I live in south Florida and go to school in Boca Raton, where every other person is a Yankees fan, trust me on this, Sox fans like me are hard to find, I even started a group called Red Sox Fans Rock. So I need not be questioned, I may live in south Florida, but I listen to every single Sox game on XM radio, and before that became available used to get MLB ticket services.

"So here it goes, it doesn't bother me one bit that young Hanley idolizes Derek Jeter. Jeter is one of the few people who is the face of a franchise. Jeter is the Yankees, yes I hate the Yankees, yes if I saw Jeter in some low lit back alley, with a few drinks in me, his playing career would probably get cut short. But for As long as I can remember, Jeter has been a Yankee. I only hope that someday Hanley will be as hated and respected by the Yankees, as Jeter is by the Red Sox. Jeter makes some big money, no one is denying that much, but unlike other people on that team (Giambi, Brown, Jared Wright, hell even Randy Johnson so far this season) Jeter earns every damn dime they give him, I just hope Hanley doesn't end being as much of lush as Jeter (or ending up in love with his third baseman for the matter)

"From the sunny beaches of south Florida, Sox fan for life (minus the card holding privileges)" -- Mike Daley

Yankee Dome. "Thought everyone up in Boston should have an idea of what is happening down here in Tampa after the Sox-Rays series last weekend:

- "Sox vs. Rays average roughly about 30,000 fans for the weekend series. For the 3rd year in a row, Red Sox fans outnumber the Devil Ray fans four-to-one. Throughout each game a consistent "Here we go Red Sox, here we go" chant is over whelming while the Rays' fans are unable to keep up with the energy level of the Sox fans! In turn the Rays' management unsuccessfully pump the sound of "boos" into the stadium through the sound system in an attempt to drown out the Sox fans' chants.

- "After the series and the benches clearing on Sunday the Tampa area sport radio stations continue their tyrant (sic) on Sox fans with a little more vigor we have now gone from loud and out numbering to as one painfully boring DJ on 620 AM likes to say "jack-offs!" They rip into anything Boston and call us nothing but bandwagon fans who don't know baseball (I am sure with a World Series championship there are a few bandwagon fans but I tend to believe not all of us are!) They prank call the Sox and quite a few stations to disrupt, as they put it, the sad state of Red Sox Nation. (all in all quite amusing that they have now spent two weeks talking about the Red Sox to be honest)

Beating a Dead House

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Beating a Dead House

An eyewitness account of the House/Sheffield incident from a friend of ours who says she was there:

Here is my view on what happened on that infamous night of “the scuffle”. When Jason Varitek hit a ball into the corner of right field, fans were leaning over into the field and sweeping at the ball. The ball was bouncing along low to the ground and out of reach of the fans. Chris House was sitting on the left of me (Linda). When the ball came closer to where we were sitting, Sheffield bent over attempting to field the ball. It seemed Chris House was swiping at the ball while Sheffield was trying to field the ball. I don’t even think House was even looking at Sheffield. I was watching the whole play. Everything happened so quickly. At that moment, it didn’t seem House even touched Sheffield. If anything he might have slightly touched or brushed the side of Sheffield’s face or hat. I didn’t hear a whack or slap while the incident occurred and no verbal reaction from Sheffield. This makes me believe that it was not a direct hit. I feel if Sheffield seriously got punched in the mouth as he states he did (Sheffield stated he thought his lip was busted), he would have jumped into the stands, no question. And the scuffle would have been much more violent.

Sheffield picked up the ball, while ball in hand, he charged at the fan and pushed him back, then turned around to throw the ball back into the infield. When Sheffield pushed House, House pushed me and I landed on my side along the seats and still have a bruise on my leg to remind me of the altercation. I was truly frightened when I saw Sheffield coming after House. All I could think of is Sheffield rubs that “crème” on his knee.

As I landed along the seats I looked up at my friend Helen, who had fell to my right, and saw a look of horror on her face. Helen’s expression made me start laughing. After Sheffield threw the ball back into the infield, Sheffield turned around and again went after House. This is when the security guard came to intervene. To get away from the scuffle, I grabbed my friend Helen and we made our way over to the visitor’s bullpen until everything settle down near our seats.

A fan should not interfere with a play, but it's a fan reaction that occurs sometimes. Does it make it right? NO. Red Sox (including myself) and Yankee fans close to the incident felt there was no malicious intent on House’s part. But I do believe House is in the wrong for interfering with the play. But I also believe Sheffield was wrong in the way he reacted. He made contact with House. Someone could seriously have got injured.

Sheffield is a big guy and House is not the smallest guy either. My friend and I were afraid we were going to get hit in the scuffle. We're lucky my friend and I (members of Red Sox Nation) were not seriously injured. To get the facts straight, my friend and I were not with Gap boy or Chris House. I am in on season tickets in the section where the incident occurred. I do know Chris House from just sitting next to him during games. He seems like a decent guy. I’ve never had problems with him.

Also, my friend and I were not drunk. I had 1 ½ beers all game, my friend the same. If anything, over eaters to put it nicely, we had 2 Fenway Franks each and popcorn that night. ;-) It’s funny how the media can twist and develop a fictional story more than the factual story. -- Linda

Sox take one on the Chen

Sox Take One on the Chen

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(AP Photo / Bruce Chen with Sox in 2003)

Makeshift Lineup Goes Down
While a Sprain is a Pain for Wells, Mantei
Orioles Own Sox at Fenway Again, 8-4
Two Fine Days for Damon: 7 hits in 8 at-bats with 2 walks
But Champs drop to 11-9, not so fine


'Minor Procedure' for Garciaparra, No Timetable for Return
Some Loathsome Bostonians are Wearing Sox Caps
More Highs and Lowe

Pierciaparra, Celts come up short

Pierciaparra, Celts
Come Up Short

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(AP Photo)

Green Blow Fourth Quarter Lead, Series Tied 1-1

Trot was hot

Hot to Trot
Another Beanbrawl at the Trop

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(AP Photo)

What's the Deal with the Devil Rays?
Payton's Payback's a Bitch. Sox Fight, Club Tampa 11-3

"That ball almost hit me in the head. That's dangerous. I think they need to stop the hitting thing."-- David Ortiz

Celtics set the pace

Green Monster Win

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(AP Photo)

Bird on Hand, Pacers Get Bushwhacked

Nomar Never Used Steroids

Nomar Never Used Steroids

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(Boston Dirt Dogs Photo Illustration / Kevin Buckingham)

Cubs Shortstop May Be Cursed
But Don't Assume the Worst

He may hate Boston, and the Red Sox brass. He sat out "the Jeter game" when the Sox needed a win and stayed on the bench when everyone else was on the top step. His selfish contract whining was a distraction for the team. The nervous laugh is fake. He was nasty to writers and reporters on a regular basis. He's paranoid to the max. He spoke to us in empty cliches, "or whatever." He was mean to autograph seekers and fans behind the scenes. Idiot Arn Tellem cost him millions. API's Mark Verstegen probably ruined his body for baseball. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder? Sure. And a call was made to the scorer to question error No. 14 on July 20, 2003, a grounder that jumped up on him. His trade jumpstarted the Sox march to a World Series and he'll wince privately when he's presented with his ring as a reminder of his role. He swings at the first pitch too much and pops up a lot. He looked puffy, not pumped and jacked, on the SI cover. He can't explain the phantom day-to-day Achilles' injury that cost him 57 games for the Sox last season, and more in Chicago. He sounded silly whining about false positives, and suspicious in saying testing for steroids was not the answer. But Nomar Garciaparra is not a steroid user. He's telling the truth on this one.

Garciaparra Denies Steroid Use

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(CBS2 Chicago Photo / Click here or on photo for video)

Allegations carry chuckles and laughs for Nomar

"They're just a bunch of jealous, idiotic people out there. If they don't know [anything], they should keep their mouth shut, period." -- Jay Payton, Hartford Courant

Lenny Dykstra linked to steroids, gambling

"A pathetic display" by Ace

"A Pathetic Display"

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(AP Photo)

Schill Drilled as Sox Flop at Trop Again
Another One Run Loss to RAAAys, 6-5

"A pathetic display of pitching all around. I made every mistake I can make at all the wrong possible times. It's easy to look from the outside in and say, `Aw, everything will be all right,' but when you're the guy going through it, you can't assume it's going to be all right. You've got to keep pushing, battle, find a way to make it right." -- 4.23: Curt Schilling


Gammons Gives Three Weeks Notice

Tito: Bob Watson Hasn't Fined or Suspended You Yet. Check Here for Updates.

No Timlin, no win

Embree Oh No!
No Timlin, No Win

Game winner

(AP Photo)

A Good Comeback Spoiled, Rays Win on Walkoff 5-4

"Millar cost them the game last night. Did you see that bad throw that he made? I thought he faked to third. I never saw the ball leave his hand until I saw the replay. That's because the ball was out of the camera view when it left his hand. That thing was about thirty feet over the third basemans head. I bet Millar said nothing about it after the game. Millar never talks about his play on the field." -- Brian Shamis

20/20

20/20

Beanballs and Birdbrains

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(Boston Dirt Dogs Photo / 4.24.05 Bill Rubino)

“It’s pretty funny until the rabbit gets the shotgun.”
– John Salley

A baseball thrown at a major league hitter at ninety miles per hour allows him about 0.4 seconds to analyze and react. Prior to today’s action, there had been 99 batters hit by pitchers in the National League and 101 in the American League, not a significant difference. Judging by today’s action between the Red Sox and the Devil Rays one wouldn’t know that.

The feud between the Red Sox and the Devil Rays goes back literally years, although like many conflicts, few remember the origins. However, each year it seems that the quid pro quo expands, unchecked by changes in management, managers, and players. This weekend a series of hit batsmen again erupted in gang warfare, culminating in an attempted drive-by hit on David Ortiz by Lance Carter after Carter had brushed back Manny Ramirez who promptly responded by hammering the next Carter fastball into the bleachers. Ortiz then nearly became the victim of the purpose pitch, the purpose “being to separate the head from the shoulders.”

During the Red Sox pennant quest of August 1967, Angel righthander Jack Hamilton beaned budding superstar right fielder Tony Conigliaro, causing severe eye injuries, beginning the downward spiral of Conigliaro’s career. Neither Carter nor Ortiz were born then, and perhaps neither is aware of Conigliaro’s significance to Red Sox history. However, all those of us who remember that nightmare never wish to recall it or see another Boston or opposing player in similar circumstances.

Although the designated hitter rule has become the focus for the problem of beanball wars, it’s not so simple. Pitchers need to use both sides of the plate against today’s bigger, stronger hitters and hitters diving in on the plate need to understand that every inside pitch is not a ‘purpose pitch’. On the other hand, when intent is clear and contempt not control becomes the issue, major league baseball needs to act with clarity and immediacy.

The pitchers involved, management, and managers should be severely reprimanded, suspended and fined. There should be no warning and no appeals. The umpiring crew involved should be suspended for one series without pay for failing to control the game. Both the Red Sox and the Tampa management should be fined a minimum of $250,000 dollars, both managers and pitchers suspended for a minimum of ten days, and Bud Selig should contact every team and assure them that this is the end, not the beginning of the zero tolerance policy to a baseball tradition that must end now.

Will that happen? Of course not, because the “labor unions” will prevent harsh treatment of their coddled members. The idiocy will continue and baseball machismo will manufacture more manure, while the action serves up post-game highlights and ESPN moments. Maybe NESN can have a ‘beanballs and birdbrains’ segment.

- Ron Sen, Boston Dirt Dogs (Check out Ron's most excellent new blog Red Sox Reality Check)

There's no place like dome

There's No Place Like Dome

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(AP Photo)

Mr. Hometown Discount on the Hill Tonight
He's No Minky with the Bat, but Time for Millar to Step Up


Garciaparra Weighs Injury Treatments
The S-Word: The Boston Globe's Bob Ryan Drops it on Nomar
"...you can't help wondering just what he's been putting into his body
other than Wheaties and sirloin steaks."
And Mean-to-the-Little-People Mariotti Steals "Garciapopup"
Court Clerk Donovan Dumped Beer on Sheff

Who Needs Clemens? We've Got Clement

Who Needs Clemens?
We've Got Clement

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(Reuters Photo)

Another Shutout at Fenway South
Pitching and Defense Wins 1-0
Thanks Trot-->Kevin-->Tek

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(Reuters Photo)

Out!

Bob Lobel Reminds Us That
They're the Baltimore 000-000-000rioles


Meanwhile, Mientkiewicz Slam, Pedro Gem too Much for Marlins
The O.C. Hits a Game Winner in Anaheim, L.A.

Papa Jack suspended for one game for ump incident
(Tito finds out by reading it online, thanks Yankee Bob)

Say a prayer for Nomar

Say a Little Prayer for Nomar
Whether You Love Him or Hate Him

Nomar Garciaparra

(Boston Globe Staff Photo / Jim Davis)

Nomar is Out 2-3 Months with Torn Groin
But It's Possible His Season Could Be Over,
His Career in Jeopardy, Cooperstown Doubtful

Please Leave a 'Get Well Soon Nomar' Message Here
Listen to 'We're Sorry Nomar' by Needham's Bobby Q

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(AP Photo)

Ratto: Adding Insult to Injury

Big Man on Camden

Big Man on Camden

Another Donut for David

(Reuters Photo)

"Everyone's Talkin' Up the Fat Man, But the Fat Man Went Up Tonight."
-- 4.20 Jim Ed Rice

Another Donut for David, 8-0 Sox
Captain Crunches Another One

Down goes Nomar

Down Goes Nomar

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(AP Photo)

ANOTHER INJURY FOR CUBS SHORTSTOP
Nomar Carried off Field After Tearing Groin

Can we toss this guy next?

And Justice for All, Gary Too
NO DISCIPLINE FOR SHEFF
What do you think of the decision?

Can We Toss This Yahoo Next?

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(Boston Globe Staff Photo / Jim Davis)

And Draft Up a Personality Test for Would-Be Fenway Ticket Purchasers?

MLB invades a Nation

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04.25.05: New York Stories. From The New York Times 4.21.05:

The Upper West Side, like all New York neighborhoods, moves to it's own rhythms, fueled in large part by population density, acute parenting, entitlement, and retail. Some weeks, you feel there is something in the air, a pinched intensity pushing everyone within a 20 block radius just an inch off the platform of reasonable behavior.

"On Monday, on Broadway near 90th Street, a mother in low-rise jeans stood waiting for the light lecturing her son, who appeared to be about 5 years old. "If you want to root for the Red Sox, that is your choice," the mother said, "but you may not sit with the rest of the family during the games.

The pained child protested. "But we are Yankees fan," mom replied, ticking off the names of each member of the family as they hurried across the street. The child tripped, fell and dissolved into tears. Mom scooped him up. They made the light.

"What a disgrace this mother is. How can we get this kid to know that it's ok to be a Sox fan and not have his mother yell at him. Invite him into the family with a invitation on your website. Someone who knows the kids is bound to see it. Thanks! Rob Maynard"

MLB invades a Nation. If you are one of the nearly 100 blogs and websites that uses "Red Sox" in your url, or any other MLB nickname for that matter, lookout because Goliath is eating David again and MLB is going to bring the hammer down on you next. A California kid named Will Markham had a homegrown Red Sox site named RedSoxNation.com, after the term that the Boston Globe's Nathan Cobb coined in the 1980's. As you now know, the Red Sox needlessly took over the fan term for their little $10 "membership" cards, but they didn't stop there. Per Will "Yes, MLB Properties contacted me in November and threatened to take me to arbitration over the use of the name and over the issue of cyber squatting -- which by definition I was not doing. I consulted with a couple of lawyers and given that the Red Sox owned the name since the early 1900's and due to my limited resources against MLB it just wasn't worth it. I argued that I actually started using the phrase Red Sox Nation before the team used it as a marketing tool or as a way to sell membership cards but to no avail. I actually bought the url in the early 90's. Anyway, I stood a chance of a $100,000 fine plus expenses. I tried to explain that it was just a fan site and really small time -- I am talking 750 hits a day before the wonderful days of October -- but they didn't care. It was fun while it lasted and a kick to get emails from all over the world."

Shameful doesn't begin to describe.

Fenway Fever. Ian Failes has a website called vfxblog.com that focuses on visual effects in films. Check out how the vfx artists transformed Fenway Park back to the 1980's look.

A-who? Incoming: "I'm sure you've heard about this but I'd love to hear your take on this punk A-Rod and what he said today! "Run him over! Run him over!" Rodriguez yells at Sheffield, imploring him to barrel through Red Sox catcher Jason Varitek. Sheffield scores, and Varitek turns to Rodriguez. "You would never do it," Varitek replies sneeringly." ...Maybe "Run him over!" was what A-Rod was yelling at the truck driver doing "40-50 mph" (yeah right) on Newbury Street before he realized the kid was a Yankee fan?

United States of Baseball. "I wanted to write to let you know about the new United States of Baseball web site. The site features articles from my local newspaper column, ranging in subject from baseball’s continuing status as America’s favorite game (More Than Ever, It’s The National Pastime) to ‘out of control’ player salaries (The Case Against Fiscal Sanity). There's a big section on the steroid controversy as well, one with pieces on drugs’ dire performance effects (Steroids, 'The Miracle Drugs'), confessed steroid users' ruined health (Losers), and overall press coverage (The Media’s Performance Enhancers). An archive can be found here. The emphasis of the bi-weekly columns, and daily blog postings starting this upcoming week, is on issues that matter to fans everywhere. The site brings a contrarian’s perspective on the state of the game, one with a special focus on baseball’s often overlooked and/or misunderstood strengths."

Check out SoxStats.com too before MLB shuts it down. And Yankee-Empire if you're so inclined. And The Rivals, which is what else, a Sox fan and a Yankees fan chiming in. The self-proclaimed Fan's Commish has a Sox blog called Around the Horn. Weild Baseball is working our side of the street with NY Post sized headlines. Lastly, check out Digital Derek's Sox blog. Oops, one more BostonSportsMassacre.com, a Sox podcast is now live.

There's a draft in here. I'd rather watch the horrific 50 First Dates 50 times than waste 10 minutes of a weekend watching the biggest non-event of the century, the NFL draft.

Millar is The Man. More from the email bin: "Hey, I was privileged enough to receive opening day (in New York) tickets from my friend's dad, championship box right behind the visitor's on deck circle, easily worth $500 bucks on eBay. I am a huge sox fan from Jersey which is hard enough as it is. I went to the game two hours early, and when I got in with my friends we stood first row right next to the sox dugout, it was awesome seeing all the players come out and talking to them. Kevin Millar was the first man out, and he instantly came up and yelled something at a guy in the CEO seats behind home plate, a Yanks fan. The fan cursed him out and said go back to Boston and Millar said "(expletive) you" to the fan and laughed in his face, it was amazing. I yelled at Kevin that I had a bottle of jack for him and called him Kentucky Fried Kevin and he came out and nodded at me, it was insane. I just thought you might want to know how big a bad ass Millar is." -- Chris Mezzacappa"

No magic link for this crew. "Here's a photo of the Dirt Dog frontrunners in line for day of game tickets yesterday (Fenway opener). We starting arriving at 5pm Friday through the night into Saturday early morning. Mostly locals with a couple of us who came in on the 3:00am Amtrak from NYC. We all got in at about 12:45 and got seats in RFGS 1 and 2." -- Ryan St. Germain
Fordham University

Home opener

He's not feeling good about Hood. "I am watching the Sox game and was actually listening to one of those Hood announcements. They say Hood donates $1,500 whenever the Red Sox win. OK first off $1,500 is not THAT much money, so why only when the Red Sox win? Are there children sitting around watching the Red Sox thinking, "Please hit a homer Manny, I need food and clothes" Come on Hood, give the poor kids $1,500 even if the Red Sox lose, that way at least the kids win. From a fellow Bostonian and non Red Sox Nation $10 card holder."

Left-handed compliment. I couldn't bring myself to correct him: "In regards to the photo of Schilling and Kerry hanging out on Boylston... Schilling is a hero, who cares if he is a left winger and a Liberal, he could be a Satanist and a communist for all I care as long as he is still the pitcher he has been. People need to lighten up. I love the webpage and everything you do on it. Keep up all the good work. -- Michael Haggerty."

Boycott the Riveria in NYC. SoSH's Jneen writes "Can you do me a favor and edit out your recommendation that fans go to the Riv in NYC for games? As you may have heard by now, bartender Jim who turned the place into a Sox venue in the first place was fired the other day by the a-hole bar manager, so we'd like to get the word out that people should avoid the place and go to Boston212 instead." While a couple of SoSH'ers are bartenders at Boston212, there was a negative review on the boston.com message board: "Hey everyone, this is to alert y'all to a giant SCAM that someone is trying to perpetuate on the Nation. The New York City chapter of Red Sox Meetup has been taken over by a businessman who is trying to make some money off the Yanks/Sox rivalry by promoting this "Boston (212) cafe." Only, this is not a sports bar or a decent place to watch a game. It's the basement of a restaurant (Scopa) with zero charm, zero ambience and no character. It looks like it could be hold a wedding reception with a little bit of work ... it's really insulting that anyone would try to foist this off on discerning Sox fans. Anyway, any Sox fans visiting (or living in) da city can do a lot better than this dump. I'd encourage y'all to check out Harrisons or the Hairy Monk." Sox fans should also check out Foley's in Midtown/Murray Hill.

Not Sweet Caroline. There's a "tribute" song about the 2004 Red Sox

Still mad at Moose. See the sign if you thought Sox fans were harsh.

Opening not closed. Still no word on why the '75 World Series hero, Bernie Carbo, was a no-show at the ring ceremony on opening day at Fenway. Same goes for the architect of the World Series champs, Dan Duquette.

Vinnie from the Bronx. A caller into WEEI last week was lamenting the Yankees demise and how the hired-gun approach wasn't working saying "I want dirt dogs not individual all stars. Dirt dogs win championships."

Maybe he should keep The Ball. "If they punish the normal fan, it's not fair,'' he said. "You can't lump two or three morons in with everybody else. They're the best fans in the world. They don't get much better than Red Sox Nation.'' The "he" is none other than Doug Mientkiewicz.

It is what it is. Incoming: "Thanks for your great coverage and your take on the whole House thing. Shows that true Sox fans no matter how spirited still have their priorities straight. Some things are bigger than the Sox, bigger even than 'hate the Yankees.' I lived in Boston five years and fell in love with baseball because of the Red Sox. Thanks for helping me reaffirm that I picked the right sport, the right team, and the right fan blog to follow. -- Bill Kayser, Portland, OR"

Beating a dead House. One more view "Dear Dog, It's obvious by looking at the replay what really happened. Sheffield starts running toward the guy before the ball leaves Gordon's hand. As he gets near the guy, the ball just happens to get hit over to where Sheffield is running. The guy, House, who was just before the play knitting a shawl for his poor grandmother, was minding his own business. His two friends, the woman and the guy in the Gap shirt were practicing for their church choir. All of a sudden Sheffield starts throwing haymakers at House. He stops to throw the ball back in and then continues, this time with a blackjack that he keeps in his back pocket. The guy in the Gap shirt, seeing Sheffield's steroid induced white hot rage, throws his beer on him so his shirt won't spontaneously combust. Finally, the security guy drives back Sheffield with high flying Kung-Fu kicks. Come on, it's obvious! If you can't see that, you're blind!"

Mother's Day in the Country. Country 99.5 has committed to partnering with one of Boston’s newest charities, Christopher’s Haven. Together with Andover Country Club, we will host the ultimate Mother’s Day promotion for charity. Christopher’s Haven is working in conjunction with Massachusetts General Hospital to acquire a residence for families battling cancer. It will be a free place for the families to stay while the children undergo cancer treatment. We have secured country music star Tracy Byrd to play a 30-minute acoustic set on Mother’s Day. (Sunday, May 8th) Country music newcomer Zona Jones will open the show. Afterwards Red Sox first baseman Kevin Millar will join them on stage for photos with all of the guests. Tickets are on sale now through www.wklb.com.

100 Innings ALS fundraiser. Curt's Pitch special events coordinator Mike Lembo writes: "Thanks for all of your help in promoting the 100 Innings of Baseball Spectacular. I am pleased to say that it looks like we will have once again eclipsed the $100,000 mark when all is said and done. The final score was 88-79 in favor of Team Marciano over Team Hagler (as we played in Brockton) - Twenty-One players played the entire 100 Innings - Jimmy Kind recorded 11 hits (with Saturday marking his 50th birthday!!!!!!) - Matt LoPresti pitched a remarkable 18 innings - Mike Lembo, event coordinator, was the winning pitcher of record and co-event coordinator Brett Rudy caught the final out in left field."

10 things he hates about Seattle. You may remember Seattle's David Schoenfield's forgettable ESPN.com column "86 things I hate about the Red Sox" (no, I'm not re-linking it). Here's a humorous response from Thomas Gerber:

1. Great teams with long traditions (like the Yankees) are hateful. Good teams with tragic history (like the Red Sox) are Shakespearean. Bad teams with tradition (like the Cubs) are cuddly. Consistently mediocre teams that can't ever got it done - like the Mariners, Seahawks and Sonics - are just flat out boring.
2. Your biggest athletic hero is a retired, out-of-shape DH named Edgar.
3. Two words: The Boz
4. Bill Gates is an insufferable monopolist geek.
5. Dunkin Donuts kicks Starbucks' ass every day of the week.
6. Kurt Cobain is dead. Get over it.
7. Top sports columnist in Seattle = copy boy in Boston.
8. If Seattle is such a great place to live, how come Ken Griffey Jr., A-Rod, The Big Unit, Sweet Lou Pinella and many, many others can't wait to get the hell out of town?
9. You're uncomfortably close to the racist militias in Idaho.
10. Try as you might to convince us that you hate the Red Sox, we know you're actually green with envy.

Embree Oh! That's all Foulke.

Embree Oh!

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(Keith Foulke / AP Photo)

That's All Foulke. Sox Blow One in Boston 4-3.

Manny Monster Shot, Papi Pop Wasted.
Tito Questioned. World Series Mulligan Given.

BDD Tuesday Night Former Sox Spotlight:

Good Day for Pedro Astacio, Tough Night for Nomar

Nomar returned to the Cubs lineup tonight after sitting out Monday night’s game to battle allergies. He went 0-for-5 and is now batting .163 on the season. Cubs-Reds game log:

1st: Garciapopup to first.
3rd: Bases loaded with none out and Garciaparra due up. Nomar fouled out to first.
5th: Nomar struck out swinging.
7th: Runner on second with one out and Nomar due up. Garciapopup to first.
9th: Runner on first with one out and Garciaparra due up. Nomar grounded into a fielder’s choice, short to second.

And no home runs in 49 at-bats this season. ESPN's Peter Gammons said not to worry that Nomar will hit his .320 when it's all said and done. Gordon Edes prediction of NL MVP still alive. Maybe receiving his Red Sox World Series ring will lift his spirits and take some pressure off.

How Quickly They Forget

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(Boston Dirt Dogs Screen Grab / Dan Seed)

ESPN.com Gives the Real AL Champs the Rodney Dangerfield Treatment
Emailer Dan Seed: "Did ESPN forget about games 4-7 last October or is it just that ingrained in them to call the Yankees the AL Champs?"


Fangate: Police seek charges against two fans in Sheffield scuffle
House Bags WEEI Appearance, Won't Explain His Actions Now

White smoke from Steingrabber

White Smoke from Big Stein

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(Boston Dirt Dogs Photo Illustration / Larry Nathanson)

What Could it Mean? A New Manager? New GM?
New High Priced Player Acquisition?

Opera House: Chris to sing on Wednesday

Tim Wakefield Gets Contract Extended
Deal will probably last rest of Tim's career
Your Thoughts: Good move for the Red Sox?

"Wakefield, 38, who joined the Sox as a minor league free agent in 1995 and is the longest-tenured member of this year's team, will earn $4 million next season with a performance bonus that, should he make 30 starts, could earn him $5.25 million. The righthander will earn $50,000 next season for each start from 11-20 and $75,000 for each start from 21-30. Each club option thereafter is for $4 million plus bonuses." -- Chris Snow, Boston Globe


Soap Opera House

Opera Man

(Westminster College Photo)

House-of-Cards Will Sing Tomorrow

Curt Chimes in on The Yankee Clipper
and The Beer Flipper

"I think he was just trying to be a jerk...
It wasn't an accident."

Curt Words for House: "I really believe, and I tried to make this point yesterday, if you're watching the replay of this thing with any sense at all, he wasn't going for the ball. And he wasn't doing anything other than, I don't think he was trying to hit him, I think he was just trying to be a jerk, and he accidentally clipped him, and Sheff is looking down at the ball the entire time. I don't know how I would have reacted if I'm on the field and I go near the stands, and I'm looking away from the stands and I get hit on the side of the head, there's no question he got, I am AMAZED at the comments I see from people saying 'oh he never touched him' if you watch the video there's no doubt he hit him. How hard he hit him that's not for me to determine, I don't know I wasn't there. But if I'm looking on the field of play, and I get hit in the head by a fan, in New York, I'm not sure how I react. I think at the minimum I start out with what Gary did. I'm not sure if that's where I'd be able to stop. That's not a good thing but here's the thing that just baffles me. This is a city with some of the smartest baseball people on the planet. We're hitting. What the hell are you doing reaching for a ball on the field when we're hitting? I mean, God forbid you cost us a game. But I can understand, part of homefield advantage is the fans, when there's a ball in play and the opposing team hits a ball in play, please reach over and touch it, I'm serious, you stop the play, it's a ground rule double at worst and you've seen inside the park home runs roll down that wall. But if we're hitting, what are you doing? Leave a ball alone. You're costing your team by doing something like that and that's... ultimately the outcome of the game I think is the most important part unless you're there just to get drunk and act like an idiot. But the fact of the matter is this guy had nothing to do... he might be a nice guy, I have no idea, but he interfered with the wrong, first of all the wrong team, but secondly I don't understand the whole idea behind what he did."

John Dennis: "Curt I'm not sure you would agree with this, but my sense is that if that had been a ground rule double, and if Sheffield weren't worried about the Red Sox running the bases at breakneck speed, and he didn't have to divert his attention from the guy, grab the ball, throw it into the infield, and do what he had to do as a right fielder, this thing could have gotten ugly fast had that been a ground rule double play dead."

Curt Schilling: "Absolutely, and if you look at the score and go back to that game and look at what happened in the 9th, the tying runs on second or third at some point, they loaded the bases and scored a run or two, it changes everything. But from a players standpoint, these fans are incredible, they make it a living hell on visiting players that are talented and that's part of the allure of playing here that you love. You would think they would understand don't touch a ball in play that we hit, always touch a ball in play the other team hits."

Gerry Callahan: "Well I think their goal is to get people to keep their hands out of the playing field (CS: absolutely) no matter who's hitting..."

Curt Schilling: "Absolutely, but if you're going to lose your season tickets make sure you're doing it helping the Sox win a game... (When asked about those who say House's motion was an accident) It wasn't an accident. (GC: How about the GAP guy Donovan spilling the beer?) First of all, his girlfriend should have kicked his ass for looking like a wuss on TV. I mean flip the beer on a play on the field. What the hell is that? That's something you do when you're 12. You take your dad's beer and you throw it on somebody. I don't understand that. What part of that is fun and being at a baseball game?... You've managed to stow a couple, why would you waste one like that. I was hoping his girlfriend would slug him or the girl standing next to him after he flipped it, because then he tried to act like 'what the hell happened? who did that?'... I don't think anyone's surprised he wasn't a season ticket holder." -- 4.19 Curt Schilling on WEEI's Dennis & Callahan

House Decision Hits Home

Sheff Swipe Decision Hits Home

HOUSE CONDEMNED

Sox Make the Right House Call

While Bad Lawyers Spin Some Weak BS for Chris
Says He 'Leaned In' But Won't Say What He Was Swatting At
Claims to be Member of Nation, But Fails to Produce Card
Like Lincoln Said: Better to Remain Quiet and Be Thought a Fool,
Than Have Lawyers Speak for You And Remove All Doubt

condemned house

(John M. Photo)

PLAYER SWIPER LOSES TICKETS FOR SEASON
Sox Leave House Window Open for 2006
GAP Guy Has to Sneak into Fenway in Disguise
Who Gets the House Tix? First Timers?
Old Timers? Dana-Farber Kids? Big Wigs?
Those Who Can't Beat the Virtual Waiting Room?

RoundHouse Landed

roundhouse

(Boston Dirt Dogs Animation / Steel Beak)

"House's forearm looks to hit Sheff in the side of the head. You can see House's arm pause in place for a second and Sheff's head turns away from his arm, which (it looks to me) shows him making contact. Wasn't a punch, wasn't an upper-cut. Whatever it was, it definately didn't hit Sheff with any amount of power." -- Steel Beak to BDD

GAP Guy Identified

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(AP Photo / YES Network)

Housemate is Matthew Donovan of Dorchester
A.K.A. 'The Beer Spiller'

Taking a left turn on Boylston Street

R.I.P. Providence Police Detective James Allen.
He was a Gentleman, a Loving Father and Husband,
and a Big Red Sox Fan.

A Special Marathon Shout Out to Sox Broadcaster Uri Berenguer.
A True Dirt Dog Who Keeps Fighting Adversity.


Taking a Left Turn on Boylston Street

Kerry nice gesture

(Boston Globe Staff Photo / Matthew Lee)

First Schilling Takes on Bush at Fenway. Now This?

An Amannycan Revolution at Fenway

Curt's a Happy Camper...

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(Boston Globe Staff Photo / Jim Davis)

Anytime He Gets a Win. But Will Schill Be Too Tired to Chat with 'His Little Website Friends' Tonight?

MinuteManny Fires Two Shots

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(AP Photo)

It's an Amannycan Revolution at Fenway

Boston Wins 12-7
Bill Caine Patriots Day Photos

Night Owl Has to Eat the Early Bird

Schilling Battled All Day

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(Boston Dirt Dogs Photo Illustration)

British troops pass fallen rebel Curt Schilling during the annual battle reenactment on Lexington Green this morning.


Night Owl Has to Eat the Early Birds on Monday

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(AP Photo)

Curt Schilling, if you are reading this, please get offline and get to bed.
Thank you.

Best of Luck in the Long Run

Raise the money and run: Here's to Dirt Dog Alan Goldberg, running for SHADE with Shonda Schilling; Dawn Timlin for the Angel Fund. Our friend Paul Epstein, Stacey Lucchino, and everyone running for the Dana Farber Marathon Challenge, and to all the runners raising money for great causes. May the wind be at your back.

Young Man's Fancy

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(AP Photo)

Who Needs Pedro and D-Lowe? Wake Earns Respect Every Day,
and 1,342 K's Puts Tim Past Cy on Sox List
Rent, Payton Cash in on Kazmir, Sox Win Again 3-1

Grand Ole Manny

Grand Ole Manny

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(AP Photo)

Manny Comes Alive, Clement's Not Deadwood
Another Rays Romp 6-2

Sox, Lies, and Videotape

Sox, Lies, and Videotape

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(AP Photo)

House of Cards Insults Our Intelligence
Sox Must Take the Season Tickets

The House calls poured into Dennis & Callahan Friday morning from the manager of the Rattlesnake, Tony Castagnozzi, who D&C know personally, and other friends who said they spoke to Chris and House told them he was "waving the runners around... doing the windmill" when he swiped at Gary Sheffield. Problem is, the embattled season ticket holder reportedly told Sox officials he "collided" with Sheffield while attempting to swipe for the ball when he was throwing his arm towards Sheffield's hat/head. He also told his fiancee he was going for the ball, not windmilling the runners around. Chris can't even get his own story straight. How could you be going for a ball on the ground when you're looking toward the plate, so not to be caught, and blindly flailing your arm in the direction of a major league baseball player where you could clip him in the face or knock off his hat at best? At least House finally admits, and the slow-mo videotape confirms, that he made contact with Sheffield. But why does a veteran season ticket holder, who should know better than anyone, try to mess with Sheff, and inject himself into a play which could have possibly cost the Sox the game if Ortiz and Varitek are pulled back a base? No excuses. No mulligans. No more lies. Pull the tickets. Not for life, but maybe half the season should do it.

Update: Gammons Calls for Ban on "Yankees #@%!" Shirts at Fenway
"If You're That Angry, Take it Somewhere Else"
GAP Guy Identified. Boston Police: Sheff Can Press Charges.
Edes chat wrap: Beyond the Yankees and the incident
How did you see the incident? What was House doing?

Housegate Update: Sox Still Reviewing Tapes, Take Interim Measures

Bringing Down Chris House

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(Talking Heads: David Byrne, Chris Frantz, Tina Weymouth, Jerry Harrison)

Sung to Talking Heads' Burning Down the House

Bringing Down Chris House

Watch out
You might get what you’re after
Cry babies
It’s strange but he’s no stranger
“He’s an ordinary guy”
Bringing down Chris House

Hold tight wait till the talking’s over
Hold tight we’re in for nasty answers
He has got to go away
Bringing down Chris House

Where’s your ticket? Pack your bag: time for clippin’ players over
Park transformation is near
Close enough you went too far, cheap excuses what they are
Fightin’ Sheffield with beer

All wet
GAP guy might need arraignment
Hey Joe
He’s walking in broad daylight
Three hun-dred six-ty five re-plays
Bringing down Chris House

It was once friendly place A-Rod said the same himself
Some fans are a disgrace
Bozos booze it up at games baby what did you except
Gonna make us ashamed

Chris House
S’out of the ordinary
That night
“Don’t want to hurt nobody”
Some things sure can sweep us off our feet
Bringing down Chris House

No visible means of support and you have not seen nuthin’ yet
Everyone sees it different
I don’t know what you expect staring into the TV set
Fighting Bombers with beer

Open House? Chris May Speak Soon

Sox to Have Resolution in 24-48 Hours
George King: Chris Could Wind Up in the Big House

With the use of high-definition television, the Boston P.D. came to the conclusion that House wasn't reaching for the ball that was hit by Jason Varitek. "They have looked at it a long time, and thanks to HD, it's clear what the fan was up to," a source close to the Boston P.D. told The Post yesterday. "He wasn't going for the ball." -- New York Post

Well, Well, Wells...

Well, Well, Wells

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(Boston Dirt Dogs Photo Illustration)

Boomer Has Butterflies in His Stomach, But Gets Nation Monkeys Off His Back by Serving Devil RAAAys the Donut in First Sox Start at Fenway
Just Say Nomo: Big Poppi Puts Game Away Early. 10-0 Final.

Cy Young Candidates: Pedro and D-Lowe Have Big Starts Again

Signs, signs everywhere signs

Signs, Signs, Everywhere Signs

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(Boston Globe Staff Photo / Barry Chin)

Sox Take Page Out of Bob Kraft's Book and
Lay the Hammer Down at Fenway with New Signs

But They Just... Don't ... Listen

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(Boston Globe Staff Photo / Barry Chin)

Even Though This is Batting Practice Playtime, The Yahoo Parents Are All About Signatures and Souvenirs These Days. The Game Has Become Secondary.

No House Arrest

RoundHouse Landed

roundhouse

(Boston Dirt Dogs Animation / Steel Beak)

"House's forearm looks to hit Sheff in the side of the head. You can see House's arm pause in place for a second and Sheff's head turns away from his arm, which (it looks to me) shows him making contact. Wasn't a punch, wasn't an upper-cut. Whatever it was, it definately didn't hit Sheff with any amount of power." -- Steel Beak to BDD

Schill Sides with Sheff

"Schilling just called into Dan Patrick's radio show. Schill thinks Shef reacted like anyone else would and says we all have the benefit of 12 hours to reflect on it, which Gary didn't have at the moment. He thinks the Commish might suspend him, but he doesn't fault Gary and thinks he handled it as best he could." -- 86spike on SoSH

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(Photo courtesy to Boston Dirt Dogs via FHMUS.com / Keith Whamond)

FHM Has All the Play-by-Play of the Incident

“Sheffield flipped out. He started screaming, ‘You (expletive) punched me!’ After he threw the ball back in, he was about a foot away and said, ‘Don’t (expletive) punch me.’ The guy was leaning back into me, saying, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.’ -- Keith Whamond/FHM


Update: Yankee Bob Watson Investigating Incident for Commissioner's Office

Sox, MLB Look into Sheffield Scuffle

HAUNTED HOUSE

While some friendly House calls are rolling into WEEI to defend their friend, season ticket holders are also calling in with damaging tales regarding the seven-ticket season ticket holders and former Curry College football coach's trouble making, fight picking, and excessive drinking in the section. One ticket holder chimes in to Dale and Holley: "one of them passed out during Opening Day, another one fell on the stairs getting up. It's up and down every inning, two beers. Last summer when I went, and I'm afraid now to give them (my tickets) to clients because I don't want families going out there to be abused by these guys. The language got so bad on opening day, it became racial at the end, sorry Mike (Holley), it's a disgrace. They stack the beers up. My 12 and 14 year old daughters said last year during one Yankees game said "hey dad, they've got 16 cups stacked up" and it's just not appropriate... I've sent an email to the Red Sox, letting them know what's going on. I, as a business owner, my partner and I, we're afraid to give tickets to clients to bring their kids in there to be subjected to this abuse. I don't know what the intention of the individual was last night, but I know it was alcohol induced... What's going on out there is that those guys are buddies, and they are half in the wrapper before they get in the park. They're not true fans, they're there to just have a boys night out (Dale: It's a club with a $30 cover charge.) Exactly... I cannot subject my daughters to the language and the drinking. My point is if I go and have 3 or 4 beers during the game, have 3-4 hot dogs, whatever, and I'm not stacking 16 cups up. And it's 16 cups for one guy. It's like he's saying 'hey, look at me, I drank 16 beers and watch me stumble out of here'... and it's these same guys."

Hothead History: "Assistant coach Chris House ran on the field, and grabbed the linesman to alert him. Startled, he assessed a 15-yard penalty against MIT (thereby granting Curry a first down). As the linesman walked away, House called him a “fat boy” and another 15-yard penalty was assessed." -- Curry College incident

More House Calls from MassLive and SportsFrog

Update: WE WAS WRONG ABOUT GAP GUY. GUILTY AS CHARGED.
The guy in the GAP sweatshirt's arm was pulled back by the woman behind him.
He did nothing wrong and was horrified to lose his beer.

"This discussion has the makings of the best and most hilarious debate involving fan/player interaction since Kramer and Newman insisted it was Keith Hernandez who spit at them outside Shea Stadium in the 90's. All we need now is Seinfeld himself to break down the film..."you can clearly see the fan's beer hand being jerked...back and to the left...back and to the left"..." -- Tom in New York City

GAP_guy_bdd.jpg

(AP Photo / YES Network)

Fans Disagree with BDD on GAP Guy Guilt

"I'm definitely in your corner as far as House goes, but I've got to disagree with your assessment on the guy in the GAP sweatshirt. Yes, he had a girl next to him, but she wasn't what made him spill his beer on Sheffield. I suggest you watch clip on mlb.com and take a closer look, particularly to the footage at the 2:40 mark. Gap Guy takes a sip of his beer, sees Sheffield in front of him and jerks his wrist forward, projecting the wrest of the cups remains onto Sheffield's jersey.

Furthermore, you'll notice that while the woman in the white gloves had her arm wrapped around GAP Guys, at the time of the beer spilling, she was NOT making contact with him. The thrust of the cup forward was WAY too much for it to be caused by the girl pulling back on him (which she didn't even do until AFTER the beer was tossed).

In closing, both GAP Guy and the other guy are complete jerks and I hope they are never allowed into Fenway Park again."

-- Dan

"The G.A.P. guy clearly flicked his beer onto Sheffield's back; it wasn't forced out of his cup by the girl pulling him back. Take a look at the tape again. If he has season tix, his should be lifted just like that galumph Chris House's unlucky 7. I agree with your coverage of the incident, otherwise. I guess I won't be wearing my Sox cap at The Stadium in two weeks, when I take my kids to see them take on the Blue Jays. I was only called an a-hole once on opening night-that's before I moved down from the Tier to the loges and discussion actually centered on baseball."

-- Ken Winneg

No House Arrest

Chris Avoids the Big House as Sox Won't Press Charges Against Phony Fan
Video, Spin Control Too Tough for Boston Brass to Challenge
House Friends Pass Windmill Story, Refuting Fiancee

windmill_house.jpg

House of Cards Comes Tumbling Down

House told girlfriend he was "going for the ball." But his friend who "spoke to Chris this morning" tells WEEI's Dennis & Callahan that House told him he was "doing the windmill" to wave the runners around. Yeah right. Delusionial fanboys say he was trying to catch his friend who looked like he was falling on the field. Or maybe House was telling the other fans to pull their hands up (even though the ball was right in front of Chris at that point and well past other fans). Spin city continues for townie who got caught taking a sneaky cheap shot on Sheff... more House friends calling 'EEI with new windmill excuse "he was waving Tek around... he's a great fan, he went to World Series games last year, he's a great athlete... he would call you guys in a minute (D&C) but he wants to talk to Red Sox management right now"...

Fenway Fandemonium -- foul play by fraud fan embarrasses city

Fenway Fandemonium

Foul Play by Dorchester Chooch Fraud-Fan
Chris House Embarrasses the City of Boston
Sox Security Star Steve Chin Saves the Day

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(AP Photo)

This is what happens when Red Sox Nation "cardholders," who don't know enough to keep their hands in the stands, go to games instead of real baseball fans, who can't get tickets to Fenway anymore.

Sheff should have clocked the assclown who, even if Sox fanboys and girls blindly give the punk the benefit of the doubt, was trying to turn Tek's triple into a double at best. Inexcusable. Ban him from Fenway for two years.

Chris House

(Boston Dirt Dogs screen image)

"He just said he was going for the ball."
-- Chris House's delusional fiancee in denial

"At first he (the fan) is (looking right down at Sheffield), but by the time he's completed the swipe he's looking toward the field because, IMO, he's pretending to be oblivious to the fact that a major league baseball play is taking place directly in front of him. The guy did it on purpose. Period. It would take some serious speculative ability to make the case that it was unintentional. Watch the video. It's obvious." -- Arock78 on SoSH

According to fan Chris Lyons, 19, of Milton, who was sitting nearby, "(House) definitely tried to hit him. You could tell. And right away, Gary looked up and went nuts." -- Boston Herald, Michael Silverman

"These people shouldn't be allowed to walk the street,
much less come to a ballgame." -- Yankees manager Joe Torre

Sox Beat Evil Umpire

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(Getty Images Photo / Boston Dirt Dogs)

Clueless Greg Gibson Nearly Gave Tito a Heart Attack. This Arrogant Smug Turd Should Be Banned from Umpiring Major League Baseball. Period.

Arroyo's ball to Sheff was a strike per ESPN "K-zone," and RJ's low and inside "strike" to Mueller was obviously out of the zone. And the fraud couldn't even run up the line to fix the blown tag call in the 1st.

"He said he read his (Papa Jack's) lips, that #&@! guy can't even see the ball in front of him. That was a bull&#@! answer... I didn't want to see him umpire anymore." -- Red Sox manager Terry Francona

"His (Gibson's) own crew doesn't even like him. My 9-year-old son could look at that pitch and call it a strike" -- Curt Schilling on Debbie Gibson

Rent Was Due

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(AP Photo)

And the Nation Got Paid, Sox Win Game 8-5

The Nation Speaks

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Full House

4.15.05: Let me preface my comments by saying that tonight was the worst night I have ever spent at Fenway. In fact, the incident made me leave because I was so disgusted. It was worse than when I got kicked out for no reason for being unlucky enough to be caught in the row between two groups of rowdy fans that were about to go at it. Maybe it is true that to some extent winning has changed things. I no longer get so angry at the Yankees or their fans. I feel such a great amount of pride and satisfaction in being a Red Sox fan. We are the World Champions! I went to Fenway tonight to celebrate that and also lament the days when I could easily go to 25 games a year, even picking up Tampa tickets the day of (imagine that!).

But now "Yahoo!" hysteria has swept over the Nation. Now it is fashionable to go to a game, to be a part of the rivalry, to try to be a big swinging (jerk) and start a fight. Well you know what, if you are lashing out at players you are just a plain (jerk). Let the game go on and sit in your seat. Let YOUR team get a triple and not a double by touching the ball. A six year old knows that. Clap because your team just put the Yankees away with a big hit by your captain.

Anyway, as I sat in my seat and watched the train wreck, I was embarrassed. The incident was ugly enough, but to continue to throw things, that made me feel sick. You're a real hero if you throw something from the Budweiser deck. I HATE the Yankees, but they are just playing a game, a game we have shown we can beat them at. Why throw things? Why would you chant "Yankees suck," Why be a (jerk)? I tried curbing the mob hysteria by trying to start a "we're number one" chant, but I was drowned out. What is wrong with people? Have some class. Have some pride in your own team instead of being SO wrapped up in the other team.

We're all losers when things like this happens. Fans are not part of the ONFIELD rivalry. Sit in your seat and razz the Yankees' fans. That's fine. Tell them to go back to NJ. Remind them that they chocked. Just keep your hands and feet inside the tram and enjoy the ride. If we're luck this October will be even better than the last.

-- Matthew Frascella, Newton, MA

---

4.15.05: I'm a 33 year old die hard Yankee Fan. I come to your site every day. I love it. You tell it how it is. When you're team is going great, you report it. When your team is not doing so well, you hold nothing back. I've wanted to write you many times in the past, but after tonight, I just had to.

Whoever writes your headlines, is a genius. One of tonight's headlines was "Sox Beat Evil UMPIRE" Ha Ha. Anyway, kudos to you and your staff, for taking the stance of true BASEBALL fans regarding the Sheffield situation. It would have been easy for you to just kill Sheff for his involvement, but as a TRUE baseball fan, you realize that the fan at Fenway was, as you called him, an "assclown".

Real Yankee fans know that idiot's (No pun intended) actions, DO NOT represent the majority of Red Sox fans or "Red Sox Nation." Like true Red Sox fans at Fenway, True Yankee fans find it hard to get tickets to Yankee stadium as well. It's the price we pay for having great teams that we root for.

Give yourselves credit for looking past the hatred of the MFYs (I think you call them) and putting the heat on the "assclown." We'll do this at least 13 more times this summer. Enjoy it, and I'd like to wish your team Bad luck. =o)

-- Vic on a car phone

P. S. I know how obsessed Schilling is with typing his name in search engines each night, and I'm sure he'll have plenty to say on this issue so Curt: I hate you for 2001 and 2004!!  And now I just pretty much hate you.

---

4.15.05: What makes it even more embarrassing is that a guy 3 people to the left dumps a beer on Sheffield at the exact same moment. These "fans" kill me.

-- Mike Tarentino

---

4.15.05: Love the site, but sorry -- you've got it all wrong today. That fan had absolutely no malicious intent toward Sheffield when he reached down. It's so obvious after seeing 20 replays. He was wrong to interfere, but Sheffield saying he got punched in the lip is ludicrous. Even more ludicrous is Joe Torre's postgame blow-up. "That guy shouldn't be allowed to walk the street, much less be at a ballgame." He plainly hadn't seen the replay yet, and, as the skipper of a team that's floundering, and just gave Randy Johnson five runs and couldn't win, he's frustrated.

-- Rick Kampersal

Who needs Johnson? We've got Bronson

Who Needs Johnson?
We've Got Bronson

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(Getty Images Photo / Jonathan Alpeyrie)

Bats Need to Bounce Back Tonight


Yes, WE KNOW MLB is Selling "Even Idiots Can Get Lucky...but the Yankees dominate year after year" T-shirts on the official Yankees' website on MLB.com. But guess what?
No one cares about their Sox obsession and paranoia anymore. We already won the war.

Deep Six sinks Schill

Deep Six Sinks Schill

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(Boston Globe Photo / Jim Davis)

Yanks Pen Has Wright Stuff, Sox Bats Fluff, Division Champs Win 5-2
Juice Guy and Has-Bern Go Deep in Curt's Extra Inning
Schilling Makes 35,115 People from Boston Shut Up
'Schilling Party of Six' at the Checker Club in Pawtucket?
Bill Caine Gallery Photos from Wednesday's Game


Nomar Booed at Wrigley After Grounding into 6-4-3 DP vs. Padres
Uncle Victor Garciaparra Changes Name to Back to Victor Campos
From Idiot: "Why would you sign here? It's miserable here." -- Comment to Johnny Damon when he arrived at his first Red Sox spring training

Pedro trashes Sox players, Nelson, in latest rant

Pedro Lied: Martinez Called Nelson
"Our Lucky Charm," Not Millar

"My friend is Nelson. His name is Nelson. He's 36 years old. He's from the Dominican Republic and very funny character, and very animated. Everybody's happy with him. He's our lucky charm now. Now a days. The guys are falling in love with him." -- Pedro to CBS4's Dan Roche, September 28, 2004

Pedro Trashes Sox Players, Nelson, in Latest Rant

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(Getty Images Photo / David Maxwell)

Marteamez Says Sox Were The Yankees' Daddy, Not Him:
"My Team Was Not Helping Me"

You’re known for your calling-it-like-it-is personality. Have you ever said anything you regret?
Pedro: "I speak from my heart. I’m honest. I can’t be any other way. But yes, there were actually two things I’ve said that I’ve come to regret. The first, when I called the Yankees my daddy. I was feeling it that night so I said it, but I was saying it more for my team, than for me. I was feeling like I could not beat them because my team was not helping me." -- Read the rest of Pedro's insane rants and lies in the NY Post's Tempo magazine

Pete Throws Mahow, Millar, Under the Bus

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(Boston Dirt Dogs Photo)

What ever happened to Nelson de la Rosa [Pedro’s midget pal who became a sort of locker room personality with the Red Sox]?
"Nelson needs help. He is a special human being. I haven’t seen him in a while."

But he says you broke his heart.
"He was angry that I signed with the Mets. He wanted me to stay with Boston."

So are you going to bring any lucky charms to New York?
"He was not my lucky charm. I’m not superstitious like some guys. It was Kevin Millar who thought this. I met Nelson through mutual friends and he asked to come to the game. I gave him tickets. And it so happened that we would win every time he came to games and people would go crazy for him, especially kids. Since we won some games, Millar started saying that he was the team’s lucky charm. But I am not superstitious. I only have certain routines that I practice."

Do you want to share them?
"I have two sets of underwear —a set that I wear for practice only, the other set I use to play." -- NY Post's Tempo magazine

Cashman calls The Big Show to defend curse song

Cashmangate Update

Hey, that rhymed. Sean McAdam, Wendy Nix, and Glenn Ordway Take "Terry Cashman" to Task for Ruining Banner Raising.
Cashman Called into Big Show, Denied He was Awful.
Lucchino: "It (the song) Was Not Up to Past Standards"


ESPN.com Still Obsessed with the Red Sox New York Too: Sox Craved Carlos Beltran

The Gladiator returns to Fenway

Strength and Honor
Return to Fenway

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(Boston Dirt Dogs Photo Illustration / Zack Schweitzer)

Terry Francona: "Tell me again, why are we here?"
Curtis: "For the glory of the Nation, sire."

"My name is Curtis (hates to see his middle name) Schilling, Commander of the Armies of the Nation, General of the Fenway Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Terry Francona. Father to Gehrig, Grant, Garrison and Gabrielle, husband to a beautiful wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next. My name is Gladiator."

Johnny Damon is a bald faced liar!

Bald Faced Liar!

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(Boston Dirt Dogs screen grab)

Rolling Rock Star Gathers No Moss on His Head
Johnny is Bald as an Eagle

Damon Gets Wiggy with It

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(Boston Dirt Dogs / Puma Photo)

Johnny's Good Looks All Smoke and Mirrors


Sing? Cashman Should Be in Sing Sing!

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(AP Photo)

Terry Pay-Me-Cashman Ruined Sox Banner Raising with Canned Curse-Filled Song
They Should Have Played WEEI's Pete Gustin's Terry Cashman Song Parody Instead
Or Even the Horrendous 'Tessie' Would Have Been Better
More Pay-Me-Cashman Parodies from the Whiner Line

Acton Gangs Expected to Brawl in Courtyard Over Sox-Yanks Handshake Flap

Sox give David Wells a "ring"

Boomer Gets a Ring Too

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(Boston Dirt Dogs Photo / Xpurgation)

In an effort to make newcomer David Wells feel comfortable with his new team, the generous ownership of the Red Sox decided to award him a ring.


"I just hope there's not cubic zirconia in mine (ring) because of the whole ball fiasco. I'm going to take mine to a jeweler to make sure it's real." -- Jodi Mientkiewicz' husband Doug, who along with Pedro Martinez, has no idea when or how he'll get his World Series ring

Peter Gammons ESPN.com Chat Wrap

Jeff (Boston, MA): "Hey Peter, what do you think about the way the Red Sox players have handled their championship- especially the more colorful personalities...especially Damon. I have always enjoyed the dirt dog mentality of last year and dont like the celebrity ego's that have shown as of late from some of these players. Your thoughts?"

Peter Gammons: (4:00 PM ET ) "I think it's a legitimate concern in one or two cases. However, as long as Jason Varitek and Trot Nixon are the leaders of that team, I don't think it is a huge issue. Johnny Damon has certainly become a rockstar, but I don't think it will effect the way he plays. In fact, there was a noticeably cool reaction to Damon's announcement yesterday."

Good Thing David Schoenfield is Irrelevant, or We Might Be Upset

D-Lowe caught hiding at Fenway, escorted to Logan airport

D-Lowe Caught Hiding Out at Fenway,
Forcibly Removed, Sent Back to LA

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(Boston Dirt Dogs Photo Illustration)

Breaking News: Los Angeles Dodger pitcher Derek Lowe, who returned to Boston to accept his World Series ring yesterday, was found hiding in the storage room of the new Game On! bar in Fenway Park early this morning. After negotiating with Theo Epstein, Larry Lucchino, and LA general manager Paul DePodesta over the phone for three hours in an effort to get him back to the Dodgers in time for his next start, a Boston Police S.W.A.T. team moved in to forcibly remove Lowe from the Fenway facility and escorted him to Logan airport where he was walked onto the United Airlines 747 that flew him back to LAX to rejoin his new team. Sources say Lowe had hoped he could negotiate a trade that would have brought him back to the Red Sox in exchange for Embedded Yankee David Wells, who would have gone back to the west coast to take Lowe's spot on the Dodger's pitching staff. ESPN's Harold Reynolds and John Kruk were "disgusted" by Lowe's attempt to rejoin the Red Sox and said this never would have happened if Tommy Lasorda were still managing the west coast club. This was the second time in two months that force was required to remove Lowe from Red Sox property as he had to be removed from City of Palms park in Fort Myers, Fla. prior to the the start of spring training in February.

There's no place like home

Picture Perfect

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(Getty Images Photo / Ezra Shaw)

There's No Place Like Home


A Banner Day in Boston

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(Boston Globe Staff Photo / David Ryan)

Sox Let The Flag Fly


First Pitch Fever

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(Boston Globe Staff Photo / Jim Davis)

We Are the Champions, My Friends


D-Lowe Delivers

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(Boston Globe Staff Photo / John Bohn)

D-Lowe Locked Himself in the Clubhouse and Said
"Tell the Dodgers I'm Not Coming Back"


The Yankees Don't Suck

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(Getty Images Photo / Ezra Shaw)

Yanks Applauded Wake, D-Lowe, and Pesky's Ring


Champions of the Real...

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(Reuters Photo)

God Bless the People of America's Armed Forces


Wake, Belli Up to Snuff

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(Getty Images Photo / Ezra Shaw)

By the Way, Sox Run Rings Around Yankees 8-1


E-Rod Icing on the Cake

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(Boston Globe Photo / Jim Davis)

Fenway Fans Slap Slappy Around Again

Tedy Ballgame: Bruschi Will Throw Out First Pitch at Fenway

Tedy Ballgame

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(AP Photo)

WEEI's Dennis and Callahan Are Reporting that Tedy Bruschi
Will Be Among a Group Throwing Out the First Pitch at Fenway Today.
Players from the Last Celtics, Bruins, and Patriots World Champion Teams are Expected to Be on the Mound.

Who Besides Tedy Will Get the Biggest Ovation Today?

It's a Royal Opener at Fenway

RoyalOpening_BDD.jpg

(Boston Dirt Dogs Photo Illustration / Paul Comey)


Complete Pete. D-Lowe Elbow. Oh Nomar!
RemDawg's Relaunch

London Calling: Red Sox Nation U.K. Opening Day launch party at 7.30pm
at the Sports Café on Haymarket

Ring it On! And Bring Out the Gimp!

RING IT ON!

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(Getty Images Photo)

ALL SYSTEMS LOWE

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(Boston Globe Staff Photo / John Bohn)

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(Boston Dirt Dogs Photo / Xpurgation)

Sox Get the Bling, Treated Like Kings,
Boston Pops Sing, Wake Knuckler Stings
Sox Separate 2004 Players by Numbers on Monday,
Add Series Patches to Sleeves

And Bring Out the Gimp!

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(Nike Photo)

Come to Daddy Mariano

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(Boston Dirt Dogs graphic / Kent Jones)

JG_nyy.jpg

SOX SERIES RING PICTURES OUT ON SoSH

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"We're not confirming that that is the ring. We're still committed to the players being the first to see the authentic rings on Monday." -- Doctor Charles Steinberg, VP, Boston Red Sox

How Did They Fit "Garciaparra" on the Bling?

O-Dog Bites Sox in Lost Weekend to Jays

O-Dog Bites Sox in
Lost Weekend

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(AP Photo)

Jays Have Way with Champs Again 4-3
Lilly Doesn't Wilt in Comeback
Mills Goes with Timlin in the Eighth, Timlin in the Ninth
Strike Against Him: Clement Throws 49 Balls in Six Innings
Sox Have League Worst ERA at 6.08, Pen 8.10

The Greatest Sluggers of All Time
Ban Bud from Baseball

Wells Has Bad Back-to-Back-to-Back in Loss

Boomer Has a Bad Back
-to-Back-to-Back

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(Reuters Photo)

Jays Bash Boomer, Bullpen 12-5

"...Don't take half of spring training off and then tell me you suck early in the year because your still in spring training mode. Thanks." -- Philly, SoSH Dope

Blaine Puts Neal in the Coffin

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(Getty Images Photo / Dave Sandford)


More Boomer Humor
David Can't Be on Another Holiday Against Halladay

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(Boston Dirt Dogs Photo Illustration / Xpurgation)

Damon Out with Rogers Centre Injury
Rent-a-Wreck, Takes Day Off in Dome

Sox Hit Bush, League Pitching But Foulke is No Chulk

Sox Hit Bush, League Pitching
But Foulke is no Chulk

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(AP Photo)

Sox Hang on for in 9th for 6-5 win
Tek hits big bang; Damon banged up on dangerous scoreboard
Bronson solid in six inning winning effort

CVS Wall

More Wallvertising

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(Painters Tom Plonka (left) and Dao Dinh paint the CVS sign on the Wall / CVS Photo)

In preparation for the home opening game, the CVS/pharmacy logo was added to the "Green Monster" at Fenway Park as part of a major partnership deal making CVS the official pharmacy of the Boston Red Sox. The partnership includes a CVS/pharmacy sign on the Green Monster, the naming of the alcohol-free "CVS Family Section" in Sections 32 and 33, the "Winning Inning" awarding a $25 gift card to everyone in the CVS Family Section every time a Red Sox batter hits the CVS sign, and donations to Children's Hospital Boston's functional mobility clinic for every save the Red Sox bullpen records during extra innings.


FRANCONA RELEASED FROM HOSPITAL

D-Lowe Comes Home

Gidget Goes to Boston

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(Boston Dirt Dogs Photo Illustration)

Shots Ring Out in The Hub
D-Lowe Will Be at Fenway Ring Ceremony on Monday
NBC Sports: "Pedro Says Red Sox Can Keep Ring"

Michelle and Johnny

Michelle Feeds Fever

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(Boston Globe Photo / Barry Chin)

Michelle Mangan, wife of Red Sox outfielder Johnny Damon, doubled as a reporter for New England Sports Network at the gala event inside Fenway Park for the Farrelly Brother's movie Fever Pitch.

Hair's Johnny

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(Boston Globe Photo / Adam Hunger)

Johnny Damon fixes his hair in the reflection of the window following a helicopter ride from New York to be taken to Fenway Park in Boston for the movie premiere of Fever Pitch.

Eric Wilbur Review: "A Cool Fever"
Gallery: Fans Check Out Fever Pitch Premiere
Red Carpet Photos

shill on the hill in indy

Sox Doc Says Test Results Good for Francona
Miller Throws 60 Pitches; Wants to Start in April
Schilling Says He's Ready to Face Yankees


Schillacked in Indy City

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(AP Photo)

Curt Throws 104 Pitches, Gives Up 7 Runs on 11 Hits:
Indians Beat PawSox 7-5

WHMB-TV 40's Carl Erskine: "I hope he (Schilling) enjoys the restaurants in Pawtucket,
he might be here a while."

Schill to Auction Off PawSox Jersey

Steiner Sports will be auctioning off Schilling’s game-used jersey and pants from Thursday's PawSox rehab start to raise money for Curt’s Pitch for ALS program run by both the Rhode Island and Indiana chapters of the ALS Association.

The items will be featured as a lot on www.steinersports.com and 100% of the proceeds will be donated to Curt’s Pitch for ALS. “I hope my uniform helps raise money for the Indiana and Rhode Island chapters of the ALS Association,” said Curt Schilling. “The ALS Association is a charity that my wife Shonda and I have supported for the last 13 years,” he added. The auction will begin at noon on April 8, 2005 and will end on April 15, 2005. For more information, call (800) 759-SCORE or go to www.steinersports.com. If you would like to make a donation to Curt’s Pitch for ALS, you can call 1-888-CURE-ALS or visit www.alsa.org


The Indy 100

schill in indy today

(Photo Illustration / Manny25 SoSH)

Schill Takes the Hill and Gets His Motor Running with
100 PawSox Pitches Today

Fever Pitch premiere at Fenway

Pitch Fever Heats Up at Fenway

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(Boston Dirt Dogs Photo)

Sox Superfans Jessamy Finet (who plays Theresa in Fever Pitch) and Erin Nanstad are Among the Stars that Turned Out for the Red Carpet Premiere at Fenway Last Night

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(Boston Dirt Dogs Photo)

The Apprentice King of the Leisure Suit Danny "You're Fired!" Kastner and his favored-by-14-1/2-points date take in the Fenway Fever Festivities

Sox battle Yankees in game three

Sox Win One for the Skipper!

Sox Rally as E-Rod, Rent-to-Own Rivera Save Sox from Sweep

Sox Tie Game on A-Rod Error, Then Blow it Open 7-3 After Another Blown Save for Mariano.

E-Rod

(E-Rod | Boston Dirt Dogs Photo Illustration / Don D.)

Sox Win 7-3 After Five Run Rally in 9th
Millar, 2-RBI, Leaves Game with Knee Cramp
Rent-a-Wreck-No-More Gets Big 2-RBI Hit After Two DPs
Johnny Rock Star Caught in Hard Place
as Jeter Pushes Him Off Second Base Bag in 7th
Yanks Take Walks on Sox Wild Side to Take Lead Before Rally
Bellhorn Batting 1.000 When He Puts Ball in Play

Down Goes Jeter, Down Goes Jeter

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(Reuters Photo)

Timlin Goes High and Tight on Captain Chooch


Truth is Stranger Than Fiction for Fans of Cheaters and Liars:
Shameless Morons Cheer Bonds* in San Fran and Giambi* in New York
Meanwhile Families Get Mugged for $276 to Watch a Game at Fenway

Tito goes to hospital

Tito Taken by Ambulance to Cornell Medical Center with "Tightness in His Chest"

Update: Tito Flew Back to Boston Last Night, Will Undergo "Procedure"

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(Boston Globe Photo /Jim Davis)

Theo addressing the media: "Terry was taken to the hospital a little after 9:30 by ambulance. He will probably be held for observation. I'm just watching my words because I'm not a doctor... I would describe it as stiffness in his chest. I don't really have much more I can say." Brad Mills will manage today's game. Mills also spoke to the media this morning about Francona, "With the circulatory problems that he's had in the past, they (the doctors) want to make sure things are checked out a little bit more and I think they might be a little bit more cautious with him a little bit because of those circulatory problems he's had in the past, but I think we'll just wait and see what happens and we'll get more news as the day goes."

Mills adds "they're (the team) going to go out and do their job, they're professionals, they're going to play as hard as they ever play and everything is going to be fine. I think everybody feels for him and we're all concerned. I think that's where our biggest concern is right now to make sure he's going to be OK, and I think we're confident he will be because he did get it taken care of so soon."

"When I just talked to him about taking a nap on the bus ride over, this is about a 30-40 minute drive with traffic from the hotel and he fell asleep, I kind of kidded him about taking a nap and when he looked up he said 'Millsy I don't feel too well,' that's probably when I knew. That's usually not the type of response he gives me." Mills also said that he just got off the phone with Francona at the hospital, and Terry said "he feels like he'll be OK but he doesn't know exactly how long it's going to be and they're going to run some tests and make sure they find out if there's any problem at all... He'll be OK, we're just very thankful that he was able to get it taken care of so soon, before something else happens and he's so smart about that and it was good that (trainer) Jim (Rowe) had him looked at right away." Francona resting comfortably in hospital

fever pitch premiere

Apple Snapple
Boomer Blows Up in the Bronx

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(Boston Dirt Dogs Photo Illustration / Xpurgation)

"What do I have to defend there? Nothing. Just because I was out at a #&%!ing establishment, nothing wrong with it... I didn't do anything #&%!ing wrong... You're sitting in front of me... trying to get #&%!ing quotes so you can #&%!ing try to sabotage me. I didn't know I was under the microscope." -- David Wells to the New York Post

Grady Damon Apologizes to A-Rod (Yuk!)
And Crazy, Paranoid Pedro is Back!


Starlet Fever

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(Twentieth Century Fox Photo)

Drew Barrymore Checks Out BostonDirtDogs.com from Her Seat at Fenway in Fever Pitch. The World Premiere in Boston is Tonight.

Jimmy Page Turned on Pitch

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(Boston Dirt Dogs Photo)

Fallon Finally Hits One Out of the Park for the First Time on Big Screen

Fever Pitch Central

Sox in QE in SI

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Queer Eye Update from SI

The Red Sox already had will and grace; they needed pedicures, facials and a good back waxing. How Queer Eye set the world champs straight

By Lisa Altobelli, Sports Illustrated -- 04.06.05: With Queer Eye for the Straight Guy cameras rolling in City of Palms Park last month, the show's fashion savant Carson Kressley asked, "Are we Soxy?" Kressley and the rest of the show's "Fab Five" were at the Red Sox' spring home in Fort Myers, Fla., to groom another fivesome -- Boston's Johnny Damon, Kevin Millar, Doug Mirabelli, Tim Wakefield and Jason Varitek -- for an episode to air June 7 on Bravo. "We thought we could make them look like the champions they are," said David Metzler, the show's executive producer and a Red Sox fan from Duxbury, Mass. Before any makeovers, the scruffy Sox played a little ball against the Queer Eye group in what grooming guru Kyan Douglas called an "exhibitionist game." There was as much butt patting as baseball, though when Douglas got a hit off Wakefield, he was called "Out!" by Kressley. "I was so safe," Douglas protested. "I just meant you're openly gay," explained Kressley.

Red Sox President Larry Lucchino and general manager Theo Epstein watched the impromptu game from a luxury box while Queer Eye design doctor Thom Filicia transformed the press box into a spa. The players then spent the evening shuffling from treatment to treatment in flip-flops and fluffy, white robes. When Millar donned a plastic head wrap for some deep hair conditioning, Mirabelli said, "Aunt Jemima, I love your syrup." Damon sat with highlighting foils in his hair, and Varitek soaked his feet in a tub of rose petals. "Why, he's just a kitten in the spa," said Kressley of the 6'2", 230-pound catcher. "Nothing like he was during that bench clearer against the You Know Whos last July." During back waxing, Varitek gamely took the pain, but Millar was more demonstrative, biting down on a wooden application stick and then his pillow. After all the primping, the players were fitted with designer duds and, two days later, showed themselves off for the cameras and fans who had lingered after a game against the Cardinals. Damon moonwalked to home plate in a blazer and shades, and all in all Queer Eye felt they'd scored a success, even though Kressley had been denied his request to rename the club the Pink Sox. Said Epstein, "Red worked last year."

Jeter trumps Varitek as Sox win

Oh Captain! Their Captain!

Yanks Captain Does Sox Captain One Better In Crushing Loss

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(Getty Images Photo / Ezra Shaw)

Keith Foulke's It Up, Sox Lose in 9th 4-3

TEK BLAST TIED IT UP

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(AP Photo)

RENT OWNED

Oh Cabby! My Cabby!

Fans Miss the O.C. as Another Rent Error, 0-for-4 Costs Sox in Bronx
Another Matsui Bomb Put Yanks Up Early, Captain Intangibles' HR Wins It
Matt Clement Gets Behind in Count, Can't Get Out of Fifth
Weak Bellhorn Tag, Manny, Trot No-Shows Hurt Champs Chances

"Champion Red Sox Look Full of Themselves, Not Hungry, Out of Gate"
D-Lowe Goes Seven Strong for Dodgers


Oh My Darling, Clementime!

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(Getty Images Photo / Robbie Rogers)

Matt in Must-Win Situation This Afternoon

Johnny Damon bookworm

Big Apple Bookworm

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(Boston Globe Photo / Jim Davis)

Red Sox centerfielder Johnny Damon signed copies of his just released book "Idiot" at the Barnes & Noble book store in Rockefeller Center this afternoon. Here his wife Michelle leans in and has a word with him as he signs a book. The Rock Star was on the Today show and followed up with Regis and Kelly where he revealed "there's only two smart guys on the team, Jason Varitek and Curt Schilling."

Johnny' s Wedding and Vacation Photos

New York is Boomtown

Is Boomer in a New York State of Mind?

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(Reuters Photo)

Was Wells Focused on Winning the Opener?

Thursday: "Queen Latifah celebrated the release of "Beauty Shop" Thursday at NA nightclub (Wells is one of the owners) with Dean Winters, Moises de la Renta, Alexandra Richards and former Yankee/current Red Sox star David Wells, who showed up a day earlier than expected on his private jet." -- Richard Johnson, New York Post

Thursday: "David Wells may be back to his old shenanigans. Rumor has it he was out partying Thursday night until the wee hours of the morning at N.O.D., (meaning NA) a bar in NYC." -- Jennifer Royle, YES Network Online

"On Friday, he (Michael Strahan) was spotted by a reporter at popular nightclub NA, partying into the night with Yankee-turned-Red Sox hurler David Wells..." -- Jen Kelly and Jeane Macintosh, New York Post

Lupica: "Boomer Wells pitched dreadfully for the Red Sox. Wells is said to have been in New York since late last week. They have an expression in the Navy that sort of covers a situation like this. It is called shore leave." -- Mike Lupica, New York Daily News

Balking on Rent?: "The balk came after Wells visibly reacted to the inability of new shortstop Edgar Renteria to get an out on Jorge Posada's roller into the hole, the ball refusing to stick in Renteria's glove as he attempted to backhand it." -- Gordon Edes, Boston Globe

Fingering Tek?: "I was stepping back and I thought I saw a different finger down..." -- David Wells

Are You Concerned About Boomer's First Outing?

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(Boston Dirt Dogs Photo Illustration / Geeblaun)

You Can Vote for Him, But No Win for Pedro: Dunn Crushes HR on Pedro first inning "mistake" and Ties Up Game in the 9th as Reds Win

Fans Fret High Wages More Than Steroids
West Coast Minor Leaguers Fail Simple Steroid Test

Bang Bang Boomer

OPENING NIGHTMARE

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(Boston Globe Photo / Jim Davis)

Sox Take a Dive to Start 2005

Bang! Bang! Boomer Gets Rocked in Debut

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(Boston Globe Photo / Jim Davis)

Wells Runs Dry in NY as Sox Drop Fifth Straight Season Opener to RJ, Yanks

"A bad night's a bad night... this is something to grow on."
-- David "Embedded Yankee?" Wells

The Mayor of Fort Myers Gets Hit Hard in The Bronx
Crash Bang Boomer Gives Up 10 Hits, 4 Runs in 5th Round KO
as Lonely Nation Pines for D-Lowe, Pedro
Rocco Graziosa Was the Only New Yorker That Didn't Hit Wells
RJ Opening Episode is Tear Eye for the Plate Guys
Desperate Soxwives Show More Fight Than Hubbys Tonight

Yanks Crush Sox 9-2

Champs are Not Ready for Prime Time Players
Sloppy Sox Commit Balks, HBPs, Pen Walks, and Errors
Top of the Order Comes Up Empty at 0-for-12
Boston Bullpen, Rent, Damon Defense Come Undone

Only Good News: Tek Has Big Night at the Plate
Johnny Bobble's Book Tour Starts on Monday
Opening Night Photos

The Ring 2

Sox Force Ready for RJ

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(Boston Dirt Dogs Photo Illustration / Meir Weinberg)

Let's Do It


The Sequel Will Be Another Horror Show for the Yankees

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(Boston Dirt Dogs Photo / Xpurgation)

No Hugging, No Handshakes. Just Give Them the Ring Finger.

D-Wells is Feeling Randy for the Opener Tonight

"It still smells like champagne in here."-- Doug Mirabelli on the scent of a Stadium

Simmons: Sox-Yanks, Chapter 102
Gammons: What Baseball Needs: The Best
King: Weird but True, Gloom is Gone in Mudville

Barks & Bites

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Steroid Era Over -- Sanchez Caught

04.05.05: They got him. Alex Sanchez the lone steroid user has finally been caught. Thank God. And once Roger Maris is reinstated as the official single-season home run king any day now, and Manny Alexander is banned from the game, we can declare this ugly era over once and for all.

In case you missed it, the Sox championship was a fluke. Read every time-worn cliché by this AOL web hack here.

ESPN2 has a Red Sox special on the offseason, and is dusting off "new" Nation faces like Ben Affleck, Denis Leary, Steven King, Still, We Believe cast members, etc., and talks a lot about some curse being gone. Yawn. Okay... it got much better and more original as it went on.

It's not Johnny "Desperate Baseball Wives" Damon, but there's another book signing coming up as Tony Massarotti and John Harper will be signing their book A Tale of Two Cities: The 2004 Yankees-Red Sox Rivalry and the War for the Pennant on Tuesday, April 12th at 7:00pm at Barnes & Noble in Saugus.

The publisher of Leigh Montville's book Why Not Us? writes "You were kind enough to run an excerpt when the book first came out around Christmas. This time, I'd like to offer you 5-10 free copies of the book to give away to fans through the Boston Dirt Dogs site." If anyone has any ideas on a contest I can easily execute for these books, please let me know.

Line of the day by Steve Buckley this morning on WEEI's Sunday baseball show (sadly sans Neumy): "Nomar should never have been allowed to put the (Sox) uniform on again after that display in Yankee Stadium last season." Agreed.

Do not miss the curated show entitled "The Color of Baseball" that opens at the Panopticon Gallery in Kenmore Square (inside the Hotel Commonwealth). The opening is next Thursday, April 7th, from 5:30-7:30. Details here. BDD contributor and renowned photographer Bill Chapman writes:

"The show will contain some great historical stuff, from both the BPL and the Sports Museum, Ernest Withers Negro League Photos... and 30 of my pictures taken of fans all over the country. I have been about 50,000 miles in the last twelve years. I enclose the picture from the announcement, Ernest Withers holding two balls he had signed by Cool Papa Bell and others (below).

"On the surface, the colors of baseball are easy to identify. Of course, we think of green grass, blue skies, vivid colors of the crowd — add the red, white and blue of the American flag — and your palette ambles toward completion. Over the years, owners have provided a spectrum of uniform designs and colors that keep us motivated to buy tickets and merchandise.

"As one moves beyond the vivid surface colors, colors of anger and the results of cruelty become added to the palette. The color of money, as it relates to the game, came to the public knowledge as gamblers fixed the 1919 World Series. Judge Kenesaw Mountain Landis was brought in to “save” baseball from the evils of gambling and to restore the public’s faith. He did — but he kept blacks out of the game until he was coerced into resigning in 1944. What about baseball integrating before the United States Army and that particular hue of shame that painted the nation? Once baseball was integrated in 1947, think about what color Jackie Robinson’s leg and thigh were after he was deliberately gouged by the incoming spikes of a base runner. That will also add to the palette."

This lively, thought provoking and entertaining exhibition includes photographs of legendary players from the Negro Leagues, intimate photos of fans and players, a photograph of the Boston Pilgrims before their first game with the Pittsburgh Pirates during the first World Series, and a panoramic view of Fenway Park under construction during the 1914 World Series, as well as historic photos of Babe Ruth, Ty Cobb, Ted Williams, and many others.

Things I did on my spring vacation: Lie on the beach and wonder why we live in North Poleville otherwise known as Boston, and laughed my arse off watching that Jersey goof Charlie O'Connell doing body shots off former NESN up-and-comer and "salon coordinator" Krisily Kennedy on The Bachelor. Bet the house that Krisily goes down in flames in the next few episodes.

Fever Pitch reviews keep pouring in: Melrose native Julia Sen writes "I went to a preview screening tonight (in LA) with some east coast BU kids (from ME, RI, and NY), and we thought it was amazing. Jimmy Fallon was adorable, as were the supporting actors, including "Still We Believe's Jessamy Finet... Drew Barrymore was Drew Barrymore, quirky and loveable, but I couldn't help but be annoyed by her character's quest to overcome her boyfriend's Sox addiction... (Asking a Bostonian to pass up a Sox game for an acquaintance's birthday party is not acceptable!)" and Michelle from Seattle adds "I'd have to say that I give it 3 stars out of 5. I loved the Red Sox aspect of it and seeing Johnny Damon and some real life fans from Fenway in the movie but other than that, it wasn't that brilliant. The highlights of the movie were seeing the Dirt Dog t-shirt and seeing Johnny Damon in the movie :)"

Speaking of movies, 1918 (a short film by New Bedford's Jay Burke) co-producer Andrew Simpson wants to let our readers know of some upcoming screenings:

1) Sunday, April 3rd starting @ 6:00PM at the Cask and Flagon across from Fenway Park (the Red Sox Opening Day game vs. the Yankees will be shown after 3 screenings of the film)

2) Friday, April 8th starting @ 6:00PM at the Cask and Flagon across from Fenway Park (Fever Pitch Theatrical Release date, the Red Sox vs. Toronto will be shown @ 7:05PM after 2 screenings of the film )

3) Monday, April 11th @ 6:00pm - Venue TBD (Common Ground or The Sports Depot in Allston/Brighton, Red Sox Home Opener @ 3:05 shown first then 1 or 2 screenings of the film to follow @ around 6:00pm). Check the site for updates

And a call for submissions for a Red Sox documentary:

"Hey Red Sox Fans, what's your story? We're doing a documentary about Red Sox Fans, and we want you to tell us what you personally did to help "break the curse"! Where were you physically and emotionally at key moments during the ALCS and World Series. We are a team of independent filmmakers who want to preserve the stories we've heard and archive them for fans everywhere. Contact us with your story at rsfans@cineking.com, including as much detail and color as you can re-live, for your chance to be interviewed on camera and become part of baseball history."

When in Rome: In addition to the Riviera, you can now go to another Boston bar in New York City: The Boston (212) Cafe opens in lower Midtown, Manhattan, on 28th & Madison and will be a "BOSTON-FANS-ONLY" bar during Red Sox broadcasts.

In case you missed it, Johnny Damon, not Jason Varitek or David Ortiz or Manny Ramirez or Curt Schilling is the new face of the Red Sox as he graced the cover of Sports Illustrated's baseball preview issue that hit newstands last week.

SI ranks all 30 teams and says the Red Sox are the No. 2 team in all of baseball (of note, SI ranks the Yankees No. 1, predicting the Bronx Bombers will go on to beat the Red Sox in the ALCS before winning the World Series against the Atlanta Braves). The Blue Jays Tom Verducci lists this year's 20 most contentious rivalries in baseball... topping the list is Red Sox vs. Yankees (shocker). Other Red Sox mentions include Pedro vs. Posada (8) and Randy Johnson vs. Curt Schilling (17).

Kyle Siskey of Newark, DE, writes: "This made me so happy. An e-mailer to the Sportsbash on ESPN radio wrote:

"I don't think the Arizona Wildcats collapsed yesterday.

Sincerely:
The 1992 Oilers,
Greg Norman at the '92 Masters,
'95 California Angels,
and the 2004 NEW YORK YANKEES."

This is a must read for any baseball fan, or human being for that matter.

Friend of BDD and self-proclaimed "The Fan's Commish" Rick Swanson writes on Opening Night.

I know you love the song parodies, so Douglas Morrison of New Cumberland, PA adds:

Juice Me Up for the Ball Game

Juice me up for the ball game
Shoot some designer 'roids
Covered with acne my back's all pink
Head's getting huge while my testicles shrink
So it's shoot, shoot, shoot for the home run
If I'm not caught there's no shame
'cause it's three, four, five strikes you're out
At the old ball game

And Michael Cardin adds:

The Night They Drove Ole Barry Down

(Parody of “The Night they drove old Dixie Down (J. Robertson 1969)

Barry Bonds is the name and I play for the Giants in San Fran
Congress committee come up with “roids” again
In the Spring of '05, baseball was suffrin’ from all the lies
By March 20, McGwire had fell, it was a time I remember,
Oh so well

The night they drove ole Barry down, all the people were jeerin’

The night they drove ole Barry down, McGwire’s eyes were tearin’
Wah, wah wah wah wah wah wah, wah wah wah wah wah wah, wah wah wah wah wah wah

Back with my mistress where no way could see the press called for me
Barry bonds are you a BALCO attendee ?
I don't mind publicity but I do care
If don’t make me look good
I took what I needed just like the rest
So how come they can’t see I am one of the best?

Like my father before me, I'm a baseball man
Like Hank above me, I’m a home run champ*
Close, Just 11 home runs away, but a fat Yankee rolls in his grave
Swear by the bruises all over my knees
You can't make a comeback when you're in defeat

Not everybody hates the song parodies:

"This guy is a fool, I get a kick out of every song that you guys redo over. I loved the one you did for Bonds, and Walker. I have been visiting the site for a few years, I look every time I'm in class wondering what you guys are going to say next. You guys keep out the petty stuff that Sport Center puts in and put in stuff that SC doesn't put in. I mean I love SC but this is local, and you got to support the local guys. I never wrote in before because I never had a reason till this fool; I say if that basted doesn't like looking at the songs, then tell him not to visit the site, who needs him anyway? Keep up the GREAT work, DIRT DOGS FOR LIFE!!

- Anthony"

In case you missed it, an old "Queer Eye" interview on ESPN Page 3. T.J. Mahoney writes on QE:

"Seriously, what are these guys doing at camp?? I finally have something to to get back at my Yankee friends all winter and now these guys show up. I've been receiving an email every hour for the last three days about the Queer Eye for the Straight Guys being at the Sox camp. There is a reason I'm a Sox fan. They're tough, gritty and ruffians. The Yankees are the corporate, clean-cut team with their shaved faces, A-Rod's white cleats and batting gloves, etc. Could you see Tek or Nixon wearing white cleats and batting gloves? The Yankees look like they've already been through 5 episodes of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.

We don't need these muppets walking around camp with pink Sox jerseys on. It is bad enough they sell pink Sox hats outside the stadium. Lets toughen back up and bring AC/DC or somebody into spring training for a concert. Get these guys outta here!"

On the headline: "They're Queer. They're Here. They're Fabulous. Get Used to It." Ludlow Vermont's Betty McEnaney writes: "Nice job guys. As the mother of a gay son, it's time for all of American to get used to it!" but the military chimes in with:

"If ever there was a more stark contrast in styles......Belichick works on team psychology and Focus from the opening of training camp, reminding his team that every year is a new start and a clean slate, and that winning a championship requires preparation and focus from start to finish. He brings in tapes of General Patton for fighting spirit and leadership, teaches his team they must capitalize on their opportunities, 'cause there are no guarantees in life.

So what do Our Sox do?  They spend training camp getting manicures and having their backs waxed.  Then lose their fifth game in a row while making three errors. I wonder how tolerant the fan base will be when the "Queer Eye" show is broadcast on June 10, and the Sox are in the middle of a 9 game losing streak? 

Give me General Belichick. Every time.

Jim Weldon
Capt., USMC
VMFA-25"

Jonathan Jackson writes in about the oh-so-boring spring:

"Is it me, or is this a really boring offseason/spring training? No really big signings (well, maybe Renteria, but nothing like Schilling and Foulke last year), no contract disputes, no hot offseason trades, even the Sox/Yankees opening matchup kinda fell flat. Very un-Sox like. The best anyone has drummed up so far was getting some Sox players to rip Slappy, which to me seemed pretty lame.

Don't get me wrong, it's nice to go into spring without having to listen to Pedro whine about how the Sox don't respect (i.e. pay) him enough, or to have to worry about Nomar's wrist, tendons, etc. But we need a little something to get excited about, y' know? I know I sound like a typical Sox fan, worrying about the fact that there's nothing to worry about. It just seems weird not having any drama during spring training. After all the support you've given them, the least they could do is give you some material to work with."

On the political front: 

"How many whiners do you get when you post things regarding the world of politics on your webpage? If the letter from Mark Huntley is any indication you must get a ton of mail from people who can't tolerate someone else having a different political viewpoint then their own.

Schilling is a hero, who cares if he is a right winger and a Christian, he could be a Satanist and a communist for all I care as long as he is still the pitcher he has been. People need to lighten up. I love the webpage and everything you do on it. Keep up all the good work.

-- Shaun Connor, Lifelong Democrat and Sox fan"

The Damons

Nation Judges Book, Johnny's Cover

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(Boston Dirt Dogs Photo)

On Eve of Opener, Rock Star is in a Hard Place

Damon No Idiot When it Comes to Storytelling
Fans Dish Dirt in Damon Soap Opera
Smashing Pumpkins and Water Balloons
Johnny Doesn't Balk in Defense of Tell-All Tome
Now Things Really Get Hairy
Johnny's Ex Comes Out Swinging

Canseco to rejoin Red Sox

Breaking News:
Canseco to Put Sox On Again

The Real Surreal Life: Jose Canseco Bags VH1 Series to
Star with World Series Champs

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(Boston Dirt Dogs Photo / Bill Chapman)

With Dreams of Boston, Jose's Pumped and Juiced in Pawtucket

Renowned author, admitted steroid user and former Bash Brother Jose Canseco announced today that he will attempt to return to major league baseball for an 18th season with the Boston Red Sox in 2005. Sox GM Theo Epstein, who called this the biggest signing since Byung Hyun Kim, is expected to make an official announcement this afternoon.

Canseco, who sources say signed the minor league deal yesterday, is practicing with the Pawtucket Red Sox, where he is expected to be the starting left fielder when the team opens the Triple-A season in Indianapolis on April 7. Canseco hopes to be called up to Boston by June 1 and serve as the team's right-handed DH and fifth outfielder.

While most Sox welcome Canseco back to the team he played for in 1995-96, Curt Schilling, who will be Canseco's teammate on the PawSox to start the season, reportedly is not happy with the possibility of sharing a clubhouse with Canseco, whom he called a "liar" during the congressional hearings last month ... oh, and while you are digesting this story, don't forget to check the calendar.

BDD is a feature of Boston.com. The site is not produced by the Boston Globe sports dept.

Boston Globe:

Red Sox agree to deal with Pierzynski > Sox non-tender Bailey, Kalish > Sox face arbitration decisions

Boston Herald:

Sox set Bailey, Kalish free > Doug Fister dealt to Nats > White Sox agree to 1-year contract with C Flowers

ProJo:

Pierzynski reaches deal with Red Sox > Kalish, Bailey non-tendered > Mike Napoli still ideal at first base > Middlebrooks, Red Sox both looking for improvement

NY Post:

Cashman pessimistic on Yankees re-signing Cano > Report: A-Rod called PEDs 'Food'

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The "Curt’s Pitch for ALS" program is a joint effort by Curt and Shonda Schilling and The ALS Association Mass Chapter to strike out Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis, also known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease.

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