Prince of Fools
The Home Run Derby Is Just a Sad Reminder That
Major League Baseball's Home Run Records Are Worthless
Thanks to Bud, Don, and the Steroid Era All-Stars
When Put to the Test, There Was a Power Outage in St. Louis on Monday Night
Fielder Wins Meaningless Competition Lofting Batting Practice Flies Into the Stands
It Was Better When the Balls, Bats, and Players Were Juiced the Old Fashioned Way
Here's to Sammy Sosa*, Mark McGwire*, Barry Bonds*, Jason Giambi*,
Miguel Tejada*, Juan Gonzalez*, Luis Gonzalez*, Manny Ramirez*, Rafael Palmeiro*,
Brady Anderson*, Gary Sheffield*, Pudge Rodriguez*, Matt Williams*, Bret Boone*
and the Rest of the Home Run Derby Heroes* of the Past Who Paved the Way
for the Derby Superstars of Today
"I'm just happy that I was able to put on a show and win." -- Prince Fielder on the Batting Practice Snoozefest