Hey J-Bay ...

New York Daily News Photo

Say Hello to Mets Nation. Enjoy the Extra $6 Million!

Mets Sign J-Money for 4 Years, $66 Million
So It Was All About the Money Dale. Sincerely, Mo Vaughn
And for a Few Million More, Bay Will Be Miserable at Citi Field
Williams, Yaz, Rice, Ramirez, Bay ... Cameron/Hermida
Hooray for Pitching, Run Prevention, and Defense
Fans Rip Theo, Bay, Henry, Mets, and More
Chad Finn: Parting Thoughts on Jason Bay
Great Seats Still Available at Fenway ...


BDD / James MacLeod Cartoons
(BDD / James MacLeod Cartoons)

Beating a Dead Horse

BDD / James MacLeod Cartoons
(BDD / James MacLeod Cartoons)

Eric Wilbur: A Loser Mentality

We're Still the Best Team in the History of Earth. Sincerely, Mercury Morris

"The Colts' game plan was despicable but it was classic loser mentality, which I guess shouldn't surprise us. January is right around the corner and the Colts were just showing off what they do best this time of year. " -- 12.28.09, Eric Wilbur, Boston.com


A Rolling Moss Gathers No Stones

BDD_RM_rooster_122809.jpg
(BDD / Photo Illustration / Moldy)

Randy Scores, the Media Snores

The Hottest Item in Boston: Randy Moss Rally Gloves, a.k.a. The Wattle
Extra Ponts: The Meaning of Moss and the Mask
This Just In: There's Nothing to Three-Way Trade Between Sox, Cubs, and Padres

'Twas the Night Before Christmas

Red Sox Santa

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Nation,
Finger pointing, frustration… the Mike Lowell situation;
Our Red Stockings were hung by the Yankees last year,
Now Cashman’s wheeling and dealing for a repeat title next year;

Theo Epstein was nestled all snug in his bed,
While visions of low risk, short-term deals danced in his head;
Werner in his ascot, and Lucchino in his Hanging Sox cap,
Had just settled their brains for a long winter’s nap,
When out on the ice there arose such a clatter,
Public skating today?… Did a scalper’s wallet get fatter?
Away to Yawkey Way we flew like a flash,
Tore open the gates, …then we heard a big crash.

The Citgo sign on the crust of a 4-day-old snow,
Gave luster to the fallen object by the blue line below,
When, what to our wondering eyes should appear,
John Henry, with skates on, but sprawled out toe to ear,
Watching was his young wife, so lively and slick,
We knew in a moment, Henry tripped on his stick.

Less rapid than a Zamboni, he called them by name,
John whistled, and whispered, he wanted the Bruins to start a game:
"Now, Wheeler! now, Ryder! now, Krejci and Recchi!
On, Wideman! on, Begin! on, Chara, put Bitz in!
To the center ice line! And let’s see a good brawl,
Now dash away! I’ve got cash to make! Slash away all!

So how ‘bout those Red Sox, will Lackey win the Cy?
And have you seen his wife Kristin? John must be quite the guy;
But who’ll start at first base? Who’s our new guy at third?
Will we miss Jason Bay? Should we give his agent the bird?
And then in a twinkling, we heard a fan screaming
At his prancing and pawing, she thought she was dreaming.

As she drew in her head, and was turning around,
Down the runway our new first baseman came with a bound.
His hair was so long, it grew over a foot,
And his jersey was dirty with pine tar and soot;
His old No. 18 was stamped on his back,
He bought it off Dice-K as soon as he unpacked.
His eyes—how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard was back on his chin don’t cha know;

Then next spring in Ft. Myers, with his deal signed and sealed,
With new sunglasses on, he strolled out on the field;
He takes off his shirt, the girls start to scream,
He smiles just like Johnny, a pink hat fan’s dream.

He spoke to the media, and went straight to his work,
He went into the cage; he worked on a quirk;
Then he turned on a ball, his arms coming around,
a loud crack of the bat, the ball took off with a bound;

It’s our old friend Johnny, Damon’s bat was so quick,
Balls lined one by one, looks like he's made out of brick
He was signed for three years, Theo finally had to bite,
To bring back the ’04 spirit, we’ll see The Idiot every night!

And there stood Matsuzaka, finally fit and trim,
The $103.1 million treasure found his way to the gym;
Cam showed up early and looked ready to play,
He won’t make us forget Manny, he’s a fan of the K.

And then just like before, Ortiz made the ball fly,
Dustin grinded away, Youk hit hard line drives;
With Jacoby in center, And Marco at short,
They're fine up the middle, still need run support;
J.D. had the old stroke back, when he hit ‘em they flew,
They all batted around, Varitek too!

The crowd sprang to their feet, to the team gave a whistle,
V-Mart circled the bases, Lester threw another missile;
A new year is upon us and our Olde Towne ballclub,
"WHO NEEDS ADRIAN GONZALEZ! PENNANT FEVER STILL GRIPS HUB!"

...with apologies to Clement Clarke Moore and Henry Livingston, Jr.
Merry Christmas, Boston Dirt Dogs


BDD / James MacLeod Cartoons
(BDD / James MacLeod Cartoons)

Lowell and Beholden

Mike and Bertha Lowell
(BDD / John Gillooly)

Lowell Trade Is Off Due to Mike's Bum Thumb
... Well, This Is Embarrassing

What a Mess, Texas Trade of Mike Lowell Is a No Go
Meet the New Third Baseman... Same As the Old Third Baseman
We're Really Glad You're Back in Boston Mike. Sincerely, Theo Epstein (Cough)
No Problem at All, I'm Totally Cool with All This. Sincerely Mike Lowell (Cough)
Santa Claus... Meet No Trade Claus... Merry Christmas Mike Lowell
Seriously... How Did the Sox Not Know Lowell Needed Thumb Surgery??
Photos: Mike Lowell Through the Years Continues in Boston

What a Country!

Standing room only tickets in September, really?
(BDD / RedSox.com screen image)

... When You Can Continue to Take Advantage of a Passionate Nation

After a Lackluster Christmas at Fenway Last Weekend,
the Red Sox Were More Than Happy to Try to Sell You
Standing Room Only Tickets for September

Herald: The Red Sox Start Fast in Sale of Ticket Packages
Seriously? The Red Sox Sell the Public the Worst Seats in the House Early
Then Add Insult to Injury By Trying to Stick Us With September Standing Room Seats
Are These Games Already Sellouts? Or Has Ownership Really Sold Out the Fanbase?
At Least They Added a 'Convenience Fee' Without the Convenient Place to Sit
And Don't Forget the Shipping and Order Processing That Get Added On As Well
But Hey, Any Real Sox Fan Can Buy Overpriced Left Field Wall Seats for 2010
If You Want to Fork Over $300 to Become a Member of Red Sox Inc. Nation
Or You Can Always Go to One of the Red Sox Authorized and Well-Promoted Ticket Scalpers Who Are Already Loaded with All the Best Seats for the Season
And If You're a Fenway Park Season Ticket Holder? Well, the Sox and Partner DHL Just Grabbed Another $40 for Mailing You a Package

"Red Sox fans continue to offer amazing support for the home team. Demand for the 18 April and May games as well as 2010 Sox Pax that went on sale yesterday has been incredible. As a result, the Red Sox have put an additional 12 September games on sale today." -- E-mail to Red Sox fans on Sunday... in an effort to sell more obstructed view, single seats, and standing room tickets for September

There's a New
Sheriff in Town

Boston Dirt Dogs -- Krista Lackey, Welcome to Boston
(Jim Davis / Globe Staff)

Welcome to Boston, Krista Lackey
(And Take That, Leigh Teixeira)

Oh, And Introducing John Lackey
Epstein on Lackey Signing, John, Not Krista
Did We Mention Krista Lackey?

"I was a Red Sox fan, not a diehard, but I was a fan. Now it's different. But I love Boston and always have. It's a great city... It'll all came together in a few days, it was a surprise. But it'll be great to be closer to my friends and family. My college roommates all live in the area. It's like coming home." -- Red Sox wife extraordinaire Krista Lackey

"Thanks, Krista." -- Red Sox GM Theo Epstein on Krista, a Maine native and University of New Hampshire graduate, who influenced John's decision to come to Boston (and maybe Theo's decision to bring John to Boston)

Lights, Cameron, Action

BDD_MC_presser_121609_bgjd.jpg
(Jim Davis / Globe Staff)

Everybody Likes Mike Today

... Let's See What Happens If He Turns Into Mike KKKKKameron
The Mike Cameron Press Conference... We're All Pulling for Him

“It's a pretty special moment. I haven't been this excited since I first came into the Big Leagues. This is a historical park ... hopefully I can put some dents in the Monster." -- Mike Cameron, Red Sox left fielder

Out of Left Field

Milwaukee Brewers' Mike Cameron high fives teammates after his two-run home run against the Cincinnati Reds during the third inning of a baseball game Sunday, May 31, 2009, in Milwaukee

The Swiss Army Knife Will Be Bringing His Tools to Boston
It's MC Hammer Time

Bye, Bye, Bay: Mike Cameron, Red Sox Reach 2-Year Deal for $15.5M
Video: Cameron Talks to Karl Ravech About Playing Left Field and More
I'm Not Even Worried About the High Strikeouts and Low OBP. Sincerely, Theo
This Just In: Mike Cameron Is a Great Guy of Character, Seriously
And We Didn't Even Have to Trade Manny to Get Him This Time
4 Homers in a Game Is 4 Homers in a Game
Most Importantly, Ken Rosenthal Can Sleep Like a Baby Tonight

Sounds like Mike graduated from the David Ortiz school of failed-test excuses: "After all of the analysis and testing, I can only conclude that a nutritional supplement I was taking was tainted. Unfortunately, the actual supplement is gone, and therefore cannot be tested. Without the actual supplement in hand, the rules are clear, and I must accept the suspension." -- Mike Cameron on his 25 game suspension before the 2008 season after his second positive test for a banned substance

Lack to the Future

John Lackey may be heading to Boston
(Stephen Dunn / Getty Images)

Do the Sox Plan to Strong-Arm the Yankees?
Or Is Getting Lackey Key to Solving the Lack of Offense?

Reports: Red Sox, John Lackey Agree to 5-Year Deal
So What's the Next Move to Address the Offense?
Say It Ain't So, Clay: Is This The End of The Buchholz Era in Boston?
$85 Million Is a Crazy Amount to Pay for a Pitcher. Sincerely, Daisuke Matsuzaka
Theo Couldn't Wrap This Up Before Christmas at Fenway? Sincerely Larry Lucchino
We Haven't Had a Tough-Minded Texan Around Here Since (Gulp) Roger Clemens
I Love This #&@%! Place Now, Sincerely John Lackey
Big John's Had Some Big Games vs. Boston: Game 1 '09 ALCS | '08 Near No-Hitter

“Lot of life on his fastball. Looked like he was moving both ways. Threw enough breaking balls, we had to respect that, and he was able to locate his fastball again in two different directions. He was good. He was real good.’’ -- 10.08.09, Red Sox manager Terry Francona on the performance of John Lackey in Game 1 of the 2009 ALCS

Is Lackey Going to Get It On with Pedro?

"[Monday] night they scored on a broken-bat ground ball and a fly ball that anywhere else in America is an out, and he's [Pedroia] fist-pumping on second base like he did something great." -- 10.07.09, John Lackey on America's most beloved ballpark and second baseman

Boston Dirt Dogs / Matt R.
(BDD Photo Illustration / Matt R.)

J-Walking
Jason Bay hitting the road?
(AP)

Sounds Like the J-Bay Era Is Ovah
And That's OK

Bay's Agent Says Jason Is Moving on from Boston
Frustrated Bay Prepared to Walk Away from America's Team
Matt Holliday Open Your Bank Account, You're About to Be Overpaid
Fans Not Sure What to Do with Their Jason Bay Sox Jerseys... Both of Them
But Seriously, Thanks for Filling in for Manny and Congrats on the Big Pay Day J-Bay
Hermida in Left, Scutaro at Short, and $250 Tickets Don't Mix John Henry
This Can't Be Pretty: Texas Still Looking at Lowell's Medical Records

"We don't agree with their evaluation of the player. Frankly, we have other offers on the table that are of greater interest to Jason." -- Joe Urbon, Bay's agent

Christmas at Fenway

BDD / James MacLeod Cartoons
(BDD / James MacLeod Cartoons)

More Coal in the Stockings of Red Sox Fans
Welcome to the Boof Bonser Era

Exiting Lowell?

BDD Photo Illustration -- Trade Mike Lowell
(BDD Photo Illustration)

Is Mike Taking His Texas-Sized Contract to the Rangers?
Will Theo the Sunk Cost King Have Us Paying the Price?

Report: Lowell on the Verge of Being Dealt to Rangers
Wilbur: Pay to Play ... Elsewhere ... Are We Still Paying Rent-a-Wreck's Salary?
Just What We Need, Another Ramirez on the Roster Not Named Manny or Hanley
Photos: Mike Lowell Memories | Survey: Good Deal? | Discuss
This Just In: It Will Take a Miracle for Mike to Pass the Physical
And Is 48-Home-Run-Mystery-Man Adrian Beltre the Answer?
Please God, Let Milton Bradley Land in Boston. Sincerely, the Boston Sports Media

“A sunk cost is a sunk cost." -- Theo Epstein, July 2009


Is This The Bridge Theo Is Talking About?

Boston Dirt Dogs
(BDD Photo Illustration / S. McDonald)

At Least The Sox Still Know How to Make a Buck
Shaughnessy: Don't Buy the Bridge

Life is Grand

NESN commercial for Red Sox Nation card sales
(NESN screen image archives)

Yankees On the Verge of Upgrading with Granderson
While the Sox Could Take a Step Back in Time with Coco

The Buzz: Sox Kicking Tires on Coco?
They Must Be As Desperate to Sell Red Sox Nation Cards
As They Are to Sell Tickets for Next Season
Epstein Taking Long Term View = Rebuilding Year in 2010
Eric Wilbur: A Grand Pain for the Sox
Mazz: Will This Be a Lost Season?

ESPN's Buster Olney tweeted that the Red Sox are among the clubs interested in center fielder Coco Crisp. Meanwhile, Bob Dutton who writes for the Kansas-City Star, reports on his Twitter account that the Red Sox interest in Crisp is "low-level" but more than what the Royals have been showing.

Edgartown Revisited?

New Red Sox shortstop Marco Scutaro appeared at today's press conference at Fenway Park with Red sox General Manager Theo Epstein.
(Barry Chin / Globe Staff)

The Last Boston Shortstop to Wear No. 16? Renteria
Welcome to Boston, Marco Scutaro

Can the Guy with the Cool Name Hold Onto the Job? | Scutaro Presser Video
Abraham: Lowrie in Limbo as Scutaro Comes Aboard

NECN Scutaro Presser: "I took a little less money just to come here, to have the chance to win a ring. You get to the point when you just want to live to experience the World Series, you just want to win the ring. I think this is the perfect team." -- Red Sox shortstop Marco Scutaro

Stop the Presses!

BDD Photo Illustration
(BDD Photo Illustration)

Theo Pulls in Another Shortstop

Scutaro Aboard as Red Sox Shortstop
Buster Olney: Deal Worth 2 years, $12.5M; or 3 years, $14M; or 3 years, $17M
Zero-Sunk Thinking: Hopefully We Won't Be Paying Marco to Play
for Someone Else Before His Contract in Boston Is Up
'Hey Rocco! Guy in NESN Commercial Recast to Yell 'Hey Marco!'

More competition on the Boston media landscape, now entering Venezuela: "The Sox have agreed to two years of Scutaro’s services, pending a physical, with the deal including an option for a third year, according to a baseball source. It was first reported on a Venezuelan newspaper website, liderendeportes.com, last night."

He's Not Out of the Woods Yet

The Stupendous Story of Tiger Woods Gets the “C’mon, Man!” Treatment

This Just In ...

Now Introducing Michaele and Tareq Salahi... competing to be the next Sox shortstop
(BDD Photo Illustration)

More Shortstop Tryout Party Crashers at Fenway
Now Introducing Michaele and Tareq Salahi

Theo Is Thinking Outside the Box Again!
Forget Moving Pedroia to Short, Theo Is Seeing Reality Stars ...
We Support Any Stunt That Will Wake This Dull-Ass Team. Sincerely, Red Sox Nation
Anything to Sell More Overpriced Seats in America's Most Becramped Ballpark
. Sincerely, Whiny John Henry... No Upper Deck!... Waaahhhhh!
Hey John, If You Started Building a New Park in 2002,
Real Fans Would Sitting in $40 Seats by Now
Reading More Between John Henry's E-Mailed Lines:
Don't Look for the Sox to Spend Any Cash on Free Agents This Offseason
Mazz: Switching Pedroia? It Stops Short
More on Pedroia to Short | Chad Finn: More Short Hops
More Band-Aids on Axe Wounds: Sox Interested in Bobby Crosby, Mark DeRosa
Photos: The SS Mess Since Nomar | They Changed Positions

BDD has obtained the e-mails that confirm Theo invited the Salahis to Fenway to Try Out at Shortstop ...

From: Tareq AmericasPoloClub
To: Epstein, Theo SVP GM
Sent: Tue Dec 1 01:03:26 2009
Subject: THANK YOU!!!

Hi Theo,

You are an Angel!

We ended up flying to Boston and checked into the Sheraton, just in case you still wanted us to try out for the shortstop position for your team, and our name was indeed on the list! :-) We are very grateful, and God Bless you.

Looking forward to seeing you on the field very soon!

With Love, Tareq & Michaele Salahi

---

From: Epstein, Theo SVP GM
Sent: Wednesday, December 1, 2009 8:38 PM
To: Tareq AmericasPoloCup
Subject: THANK YOU!!!

Tareq,

You are most welcome! I hear the smile in your email and am delighted that you and Michaele will try out for our open shortstop position.

This will be great publicity for our team, which has fallen off the Boston sports radar!

Have a wonderful flight and I look forward to seeing you both with gloves on.

Much love,

Theo


And If You Think You're Having a Bad Day ...
Think Again ...

Bad day for Tiger
(BDD Photo Illustration)

BDD / James MacLeod Cartoons
(BDD / James MacLeod Cartoons)
BDD is a feature of Boston.com. The site is not produced by the Boston Globe sports dept.

Boston Globe:

Red Sox agree to deal with Pierzynski > Sox non-tender Bailey, Kalish > Sox face arbitration decisions

Boston Herald:

Sox set Bailey, Kalish free > Doug Fister dealt to Nats > White Sox agree to 1-year contract with C Flowers

ProJo:

Pierzynski reaches deal with Red Sox > Kalish, Bailey non-tendered > Mike Napoli still ideal at first base > Middlebrooks, Red Sox both looking for improvement

NY Post:

Cashman pessimistic on Yankees re-signing Cano > Report: A-Rod called PEDs 'Food'

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