We're Still the Best Team in the History of Earth. Sincerely, Mercury Morris
"The Colts' game plan was despicable but it was classic loser mentality, which I guess shouldn't surprise us. January is right around the corner and the Colts were just showing off what they do best this time of year. " -- 12.28.09, Eric Wilbur, Boston.com
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Nation,
Finger pointing, frustration… the Mike Lowell situation;
Our Red Stockings were hung by the Yankees last year,
Now Cashman’s wheeling and dealing for a repeat title next year;
Theo Epstein was nestled all snug in his bed,
While visions of low risk, short-term deals danced in his head;
Werner in his ascot, and Lucchino in his Hanging Sox cap,
Had just settled their brains for a long winter’s nap,
When out on the ice there arose such a clatter,
Public skating today?… Did a scalper’s wallet get fatter?
Away to Yawkey Way we flew like a flash,
Tore open the gates, …then we heard a big crash.
The Citgo sign on the crust of a 4-day-old snow,
Gave luster to the fallen object by the blue line below,
When, what to our wondering eyes should appear,
John Henry, with skates on, but sprawled out toe to ear,
Watching was his young wife, so lively and slick,
We knew in a moment, Henry tripped on his stick.
Less rapid than a Zamboni, he called them by name,
John whistled, and whispered, he wanted the Bruins to start a game:
"Now, Wheeler! now, Ryder! now, Krejci and Recchi!
On, Wideman! on, Begin! on, Chara, put Bitz in!
To the center ice line! And let’s see a good brawl,
Now dash away! I’ve got cash to make! Slash away all!
So how ‘bout those Red Sox, will Lackey win the Cy?
And have you seen his wife Kristin? John must be quite the guy;
But who’ll start at first base? Who’s our new guy at third?
Will we miss Jason Bay? Should we give his agent the bird?
And then in a twinkling, we heard a fan screaming
At his prancing and pawing, she thought she was dreaming.
As she drew in her head, and was turning around,
Down the runway our new first baseman came with a bound.
His hair was so long, it grew over a foot,
And his jersey was dirty with pine tar and soot;
His old No. 18 was stamped on his back,
He bought it off Dice-K as soon as he unpacked.
His eyes—how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard was back on his chin don’t cha know;
Then next spring in Ft. Myers, with his deal signed and sealed,
With new sunglasses on, he strolled out on the field;
He takes off his shirt, the girls start to scream,
He smiles just like Johnny, a pink hat fan’s dream.
He spoke to the media, and went straight to his work,
He went into the cage; he worked on a quirk;
Then he turned on a ball, his arms coming around,
a loud crack of the bat, the ball took off with a bound;
It’s our old friend Johnny, Damon’s bat was so quick,
Balls lined one by one, looks like he's made out of brick
He was signed for three years, Theo finally had to bite,
To bring back the ’04 spirit, we’ll see The Idiot every night!
And there stood Matsuzaka, finally fit and trim,
The $103.1 million treasure found his way to the gym;
Cam showed up early and looked ready to play,
He won’t make us forget Manny, he’s a fan of the K.
And then just like before, Ortiz made the ball fly,
Dustin grinded away, Youk hit hard line drives;
With Jacoby in center, And Marco at short,
They're fine up the middle, still need run support;
J.D. had the old stroke back, when he hit ‘em they flew,
They all batted around, Varitek too!
The crowd sprang to their feet, to the team gave a whistle,
V-Mart circled the bases, Lester threw another missile;
A new year is upon us and our Olde Towne ballclub,
"WHO NEEDS ADRIAN GONZALEZ! PENNANT FEVER STILL GRIPS HUB!"
...with apologies to Clement Clarke Moore and Henry Livingston, Jr. Merry Christmas, Boston Dirt Dogs
... When You Can Continue to Take Advantage of a Passionate Nation
After a Lackluster Christmas at Fenway Last Weekend, the Red Sox Were More Than Happy to Try to Sell You Standing Room Only Tickets for September
Herald: The Red Sox Start Fast in Sale of Ticket Packages Seriously? The Red Sox Sell the Public the Worst Seats in the House Early Then Add Insult to Injury By Trying to Stick Us With September Standing Room Seats Are These Games Already Sellouts? Or Has Ownership Really Sold Out the Fanbase? At Least They Added a 'Convenience Fee' Without the Convenient Place to Sit And Don't Forget the Shipping and Order Processing That Get Added On As Well But Hey, Any Real Sox Fan Can Buy Overpriced Left Field Wall Seats for 2010 If You Want to Fork Over $300 to Become a Member of Red Sox Inc. Nation Or You Can Always Go to One of the Red Sox Authorized and Well-Promoted Ticket Scalpers Who Are Already Loaded with All the Best Seats for the Season And If You're a Fenway Park Season Ticket Holder? Well, the Sox and Partner DHL Just Grabbed Another $40 for Mailing You a Package
"Red Sox fans continue to offer amazing support for the home team. Demand for the 18 April and May games as well as 2010 Sox Pax that went on sale yesterday has been incredible. As a result, the Red Sox have put an additional 12 September games on sale today." -- E-mail to Red Sox fans on Sunday... in an effort to sell more obstructed view, single seats, and standing room tickets for September
"I was a Red Sox fan, not a diehard, but I was a fan. Now it's different. But I love Boston and always have. It's a great city... It'll all came together in a few days, it was a surprise. But it'll be great to be closer to my friends and family. My college roommates all live in the area. It's like coming home." -- Red Sox wife extraordinaire Krista Lackey
"Thanks, Krista." -- Red Sox GM Theo Epstein on Krista, a Maine native and University of New Hampshire graduate, who influenced John's decision to come to Boston (and maybe Theo's decision to bring John to Boston)
“It's a pretty special moment. I haven't been this excited since I first came into the Big Leagues. This is a historical park ... hopefully I can put some dents in the Monster." -- Mike Cameron, Red Sox left fielder
Sounds like Mike graduated from the David Ortiz school of failed-test excuses: "After all of the analysis and testing, I can only conclude that a nutritional supplement I was taking was tainted. Unfortunately, the actual supplement is gone, and therefore cannot be tested. Without the actual supplement in hand, the rules are clear, and I must accept the suspension." -- Mike Cameron on his 25 game suspension before the 2008 season after his second positive test for a banned substance
Do the Sox Plan to Strong-Arm the Yankees? Or Is Getting Lackey Key to Solving the Lack of Offense?
Reports: Red Sox, John Lackey Agree to 5-Year Deal So What's the Next Move to Address the Offense? Say It Ain't So, Clay: Is This The End of The Buchholz Era in Boston? $85 Million Is a Crazy Amount to Pay for a Pitcher. Sincerely, Daisuke Matsuzaka Theo Couldn't Wrap This Up Before Christmas at Fenway? Sincerely Larry Lucchino We Haven't Had a Tough-Minded Texan Around Here Since (Gulp) Roger Clemens I Love This #&@%! Place Now, Sincerely John Lackey Big John's Had Some Big Games vs. Boston: Game 1 '09 ALCS | '08 Near No-Hitter
“Lot of life on his fastball. Looked like he was moving both ways. Threw enough breaking balls, we had to respect that, and he was able to locate his fastball again in two different directions. He was good. He was real good.’’ -- 10.08.09, Red Sox manager Terry Francona on the performance of John Lackey in Game 1 of the 2009 ALCS
Is Lackey Going to Get It On with Pedro?
"[Monday] night they scored on a broken-bat ground ball and a fly ball that anywhere else in America is an out, and he's [Pedroia] fist-pumping on second base like he did something great." -- 10.07.09, John Lackey on America's most beloved ballpark and second baseman
ESPN's Buster Olney tweeted that the Red Sox are among the clubs interested in center fielder Coco Crisp. Meanwhile, Bob Dutton who writes for the Kansas-City Star, reports on his Twitter account that the Red Sox interest in Crisp is "low-level" but more than what the Royals have been showing.
NECN Scutaro Presser: "I took a little less money just to come here, to have the chance to win a ring. You get to the point when you just want to live to experience the World Series, you just want to win the ring. I think this is the perfect team." -- Red Sox shortstop Marco Scutaro
Scutaro Aboard as Red Sox Shortstop Buster Olney: Deal Worth 2 years, $12.5M; or 3 years, $14M; or 3 years, $17M Zero-Sunk Thinking: Hopefully We Won't Be Paying Marco to Play for Someone Else Before His Contract in Boston Is Up 'Hey Rocco! Guy in NESN Commercial Recast to Yell 'Hey Marco!'
BDD has obtained the e-mails that confirm Theo invited the Salahis to Fenway to Try Out at Shortstop ...
From: Tareq AmericasPoloClub
To: Epstein, Theo SVP GM
Sent: Tue Dec 1 01:03:26 2009
Subject: THANK YOU!!!
You are an Angel!
We ended up flying to Boston and checked into the Sheraton, just in case you still wanted us to try out for the shortstop position for your team, and our name was indeed on the list! :-) We are very grateful, and God Bless you.
Looking forward to seeing you on the field very soon!
Tareq & Michaele Salahi
From: Epstein, Theo SVP GM
Sent: Wednesday, December 1, 2009 8:38 PM
To: Tareq AmericasPoloCup
Subject: THANK YOU!!!
You are most welcome! I hear the smile in your email and am delighted that you and Michaele will try out for our open shortstop position.
This will be great publicity for our team, which has fallen off the Boston sports radar!
Have a wonderful flight and I look forward to seeing you both with gloves on.
And If You Think You're Having a Bad Day ... Think Again ...
Crock & Role: Girardi, GM dismiss Joba's talk of starting or closing for Yankees > Steinbrenner A-OK with Alex's portrayal in Yankees kids movie > Youkilis not worried after being pulled from Yankees lineup > Desperate Damon makes plea to be Yankees' Granderson sub