Top 10 Things Tim Thomas Plans To Do On His Year Off

Tim Thomas after blowing series against the Capitals
(Aram Boghosian for The Boston Globe)

... with apologies to David Letterman:

10. See if anyone saved him a seat on the bus so he can get down to Arbella Insurance to pick up the $35.00 buyout check after Arbella fires him.

9. Splitting hosting duties with Dale Arnold on the No. 1 sports show in the world, NESN Daily.

8. Buying all the free-falling Facebook shares he can get his hands on to ensure he can continue to post inane ramblings on his page and not comment on them in person later.

7. Getting in on a summer share with Newt Gingrich for a little bungalow on The Vineyard right next door to you-know-who.

6. Will put finishing touches on the family's fabulous new Fallout Shelter in Colorado Springs.

5. Even though he possesses the pipes of Red Sox chairman Tom Werner, Thomas will ask Dr. Charles for a tryout to become the new Fenway Park PA announcer.

4. Will style his hair in a fauxhawk and audition for the lead role as 'Timmy' for the 2012-13 season of 'The Bear and the Gang.'

3. Paint anti-American slogans on body in preparation for interrupting the London Olympics by streaking during the torch lighting ceremony.

2. Hit the beach with Carl Crawford and Jacoby Ellsbury, who are also taking the year off.

1. Three words: Video. Game. Company.


This Just In: Thomas Will Sit Out Next Season...
It's All About 'Friends, Family, and Faith' and of Course...
The ARP/POV system and G-Form

BDD is a feature of Boston.com. All posts are by Steve Silva unless otherwise indicated.

Boston Globe:

Red Sox end losing streak > Shaughnessy: Debunking myths about the 2014 Red Sox > Cherington: Everyone needs to get better

Boston Herald:

Ortiz, Red Sox bats break out to end losing streak > Buchholz still bewildered > Memory loss haunting Red Sox

ProJo:

Lester was once a good hitter, now heading toward dubious record > Travis Shaw brings hot bat to Pawtucket > Ranaudo shines > Betts not a candidate for Boston, yet

NY Post:

St. Louis lets Ozzie Smith bid Jeter goodbye > Yanks prevail in extras again > Nonsense leads off in MLB broadcasts > Beltran elbow on mend

Following feed provided by
Subscribe to Dirt DogsWhat's RSS?

Please e-mail us thoughts, images, attachments here.

The "Curt’s Pitch for ALS" program is a joint effort by Curt and Shonda Schilling and The ALS Association Mass Chapter to strike out Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis, also known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease.

Support SHADE!

The SHADE Foundation thanks Red Sox Nation for joining in their fight to save future generations from melanoma.
Hot Stove, Cool Music
Get the CD. Support Paul and Theo Epstein's Foundation to be Named Later.