The Joy of Sox

Bradley Cooper

Top 10 Ways the 2013 Red Sox
Will Be Sexier Than Ever

10. Sexiest Man Alive alum Bradley Cooper will join the Red Sox as a long relief man and will flirt with girls in the bleachers between innings.

9. Rose colored glasses will be handed out to the first 37,400 fans who enter Fenway.

8. Jacoby Ellsbury will bat shirtless from the sixth inning on.

Midnight Cowboy 7. David Allan Boucher, longtime Bedtime Magic DJ, will be awarded the PA job and be the new voice of Fenway Park.

6. Square-jawed Red Sox manager John Farrell will wear a Jon-Voight-in-Midnight-Cowboy fringed jacket during his postgame NESN interviews.

5. In the latest change to the medical staff, Dr. Robert Leonard will become the new Red Sox team physician.

Fifty Shades of Grey 4. The lights for night games at Fenway will be dimmed by 80 percent. Think Sonsie on Newbury Street.

3. Tom Werner employs an old Hollywood trick and subtly changes the team name to the Boston Red Sex.

2. The official game program and 2013 yearbook will be written by "Fifty Shades of Grey" author E.L. James.

1. "Sweet Caroline" is OUT. "Sexy and I Know It" is in.

BDD is a feature of All posts are by Steve Silva unless otherwise indicated.

Boston Globe:

Rodriguez looks like the steal deal > Despite effort by Rodriguez, Red So fall > Tazawa has come a long way, on and off field

Boston Herald:

Lauber: Eduardo Rodriguez showing Red Sox he's special > PawSox start looms large for Masterson


Rodriguez gem wasted > Chili Davis doesn't want to turn Red Sox into free-swingers > Red Sox draft catcher in third round

NY Post:

How Mariano Rivera has influenced Yankees' top pick > Why starting rotation could be a big Yankees' strength

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