'Twas the Night Before Christmas

'Twas the Night Before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Nation
On went the neverending World Series title celebration;
Our Red Stockings went bottom-to-top in one year
So Larry raised ticket prices and heard the Bronx cheer

Ben Cherington was nestled all snug in his bed,
Dreaming of one year deals for under $9 million a head;
And Werner in his ascot, and Henry's mind on The Globe,
Because turning around a newspaper requires the patience of Job

When out on the web there arose such a clatter,
Did the Sox make a deal? 500 re-tweets on the matter,
Away to Fenway we flew in a dash,
Tore open the laptop, camera ready to flash

Who's breaking the story? Who's the source in the know?
Has Middlebrooks been traded? And will Jenny Dell go?
When, what to our wondering eyes should appear,
But our old friend Big Papi, with a smile ear-to-ear

“It's not about the money!” He shouted dressed like St. Nick
We knew in a moment, he was using Mo Vaughn's cheap trick
More rapid than Ells bolting, he started laying his claim
Papi whistled, and shouted, he called other players by name!

"Now Choo! now, Cano! now, Ellsbury and Ethier!
Yes, Beltre! Yes, Beltran! Bautista and Fielder!
I want a new deal! My OPS is higher than them all!
He's not worried what the fans will think of his gall

They'll cheer Papi at Fenway, and when he's gone they'll cry
And while you are reading this, Ben signed another “nice guy”
It's a team full of dirt dogs sans the brother of J.D. Drew
But there's still enough horses, and there's plenty of glue

And then, in a twinkling, he strolled to the mound,
The prancing and pawing of this hard throwing hound,
Laying his long finger aside of the seam
He stares just like a closer… this was not a dream

He spoke Japanese, and went straight to his work,
He went into his windup; then he turned with a jerk,
As he threw out his hand, and was coming around,
Down toward home plate, the ball took off with a bound;

He threw like the old Koji with the oversized mitt,
And a dropoff split that's nearly impossible to hit;
His heater's mid-90s, the changeup has bite,
He'll pick up a save every other night!

And Lester and Buchholz came in focused and healthy
Lackey's ready to roll, and thanks to Theo he's wealthy
Dustin's banged up already; Shane wore a GoPro you say?
A.J.'s the new backstop, Bogaerts is ready to play

Nap's staying in Boston, he was such a good buy
No more stars on the payroll, but it remains sky high
Ortiz had the old stroke back, when he hit 'em they flew,
Everyone batted around, Jackie Bradley Jr., too!

The crowd sprang to their feet, to the team gave a whistle,
Gomes circled the bases, Tazawa threw another missile;
A new year is upon us and the Olde Towne ballclub,
"Let's go back to back! PENNANT FEVER GRIPS HUB!"

...with apologies as always to Clement Clarke Moore and Henry Livingston, Jr.
Merry Christmas, Boston Dirt Dogs

BDD is a feature of Boston.com. All posts are by Steve Silva unless otherwise indicated.

Boston Globe:

Hanley enjoying his return > Victorino slowly getting up to speed > Ramirez fitting right in > Manuel Margot in stars in Salem

Boston Herald:

Pablo Sandoval struggles against lefties continues > Buchholz says he's sorry for the effort > Red Sox doing more right than wrong > Miley put Sox in hole


Brentz walkoff helps PawSox win at McCoy > Marrero more aggressive > Vic ready to make impact > Workman receives PRP injection

NY Post:

The latest way ESPN ruined Sunday Night Baseball > Girardi dusts off Mike Stanley story for Jeter's panicked replacement > Yankees all-in on Carlos Beltran, and that's a problem

Following feed provided by
Subscribe to Dirt DogsWhat's RSS?

Please e-mail us thoughts, images, attachments here.

The "Curt’s Pitch for ALS" program is a joint effort by Curt and Shonda Schilling and The ALS Association Mass Chapter to strike out Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis, also known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease.

Support SHADE!

The SHADE Foundation thanks Red Sox Nation for joining in their fight to save future generations from melanoma.
Hot Stove, Cool Music
Get the CD. Support Paul and Theo Epstein's Foundation to be Named Later.