Quotes of note, my favorite Saturday section in the Globe (since Will's
"Enjoy every sandwich." Warren Zevon,
in an interview last year, gave that advice to people as he faced death. Zevon died this week of cancer at age 56. Johnny
Cash, John Ritter, Sergeant Carter, 9/11 (thanks to all of you who wrote us on
our tribute page, it remains posted via the flag link in lower left column) ... what a week it was. But as
The Werewolf of London (who died while Springsteen howled at the moon at Fenway
advises, we should all really enjoy these final 16 sandwiches like it's a
football season. Eat it up. Pony up. And enjoy the ride into the playoffs.
Speaking of food, with the added stress, strain, nervous tension,
constant worry, and sometimes impending trauma that can accompany the World Series
charge coming up, we should all be mindful of the need to stay fit during
this Autumn of Anxiety. From Larry Lucchino to Mayor Menino, those of us that
run hot during the cool season (and every other one for that matter) need to watch our caloric intake, revisit our
food choices for gametime snacking, get enough sleep, and plenty of
cardiovascular exercise coupled with some regular weight training. And a
healthier you will be in a position to fight off the ever-present fall
pharyngitis in Boston. On doctor's orders, Aramark has already begun revamping
the in-game spread for the owner's box in preparation for some healthy
Happy 54th to Red Sox owner extraordinaire John Henry. And
congratulations to Bill Mueller for winning the UPN 38 10th player award (and a
new Harley). We'll send you a hat when you win ours.
Johnny Damon still wants to "reverse the curse" as of last week
(sigh). Speaking of such things, the long-awaited Curse of the Bambino
debuts on HBO Tuesday night at 10:00pm EDT. Original F.O.D.D. (Friend of Dirt
Dogs) Paul Sullivan, who lives in the belly of the beast, gets some nice
on-screen time... and a few belly laughs (post edit: he stole the show). Our friend Cheri from the BoSox Club
also does us proud as usual. We're attempting to get exclusive footage of the
content that was deemed too graphically violent for TV, even HBO, prior to the
showing. Stay tuned. (update: our visually disturbing pictures of
inadvertently popping the champagne cork before Gary Carter's beginning of the
end base hit on October 25, 1986 are missing... this may be a good thing...
Trot Nixon took a few swings in the batting cage tonight. Making
The venerable Bill Lee, when asked during Vermont Day what the
biggest difference was between the previous regime and the current Red Sox front
office responded "We have live owners."
Whatever happened to Ugueth Urbina and his big mouth? Has he gone
south just as fast as fellow frauds Carlos Baerga and Shea Hillenbrand?
And as far as losing your fastball, Dick Stockton and David
Halberstam have both shown recently that they are only throwing in the 70's (and
stuck in the decade too). Who knew?
I am in love with Jeannie Zalasko. No, not because Lisa Guerrero
turned out to be the biggest wooden stiff this side of Dan Duquette (and has to
go to her notes 17 times to get her three inaccurate sentences out, just awful).
Jeannie actually can talk the talk, and walk the walk, and the new long hairdo
ain't too shabby either.
Harbinger of things to come? NESN was running a commercial after
Extra Innings for a "Chaser" a hangover pill. 'Nuff said. The spot had snappy
next-day-after-office-party man-woman exchanges like "hey you drank way more
than me last night, how come you feel so good?" Woman answers "Because I took
XYZbismol." Rates very high on the unintentional comedy scale. NESN will also be
"high-def" on Comcast digital Monday night (hello RCN, where are you?)
Like Johnny Damon and Jason Varitek for the All-Star game slots,
help show the power of Red Sox Nation by voting in Tim Wakefield (he's in a
dogfight with Carlos Delgado) for the
Marvin Miller Man of the Year Award which is given to the player in either
league whose on-field performance and contributions to his community inspire
others to higher level of achievement. Why Wake was nominated: "Tim has been
active in various charitable causes throughout his career, wherever he’s
playing. In the Boston area, he works closely with the Jimmy Fund and the
Franciscan Children’s Hospital, but his efforts extend much further than Bean
Town. For example, Tim also works with the Phoenix-based Make-A-Wish Foundation
of America and, in the off-season he visits at-risk children and raises funds
for the Space Coast Early Intervention Center in Melbourne, Florida."
Billy Ballgame really turned it on to overtake Kevin
Millar in our "best new guy" poll. Ortiz is making the well deserved
late rally. Nomar looks like a lock for our MVP but you never know.
One vote per person on those. Like Tim Wakefield last year
(oversight), L'il Kim (late arrival) is not on the ballot.
Missed in mainstream media: John Flynn, former front man for Dan
Duquette announced that he was considering suing The Duke for non-payment of
services (yeah like masterminding those anti-Theo/Lucchino websites). His July
NEW MEDIA MARKETING AND EVENTS, INC. WILL BE DRAFTING A LAWSUIT
AGAINST DAN DUQUETTE, JIM DUQUETTE, LEO PAPILE, THE DAN DUQUETTE SPORTS ACADEMY
AND THE SPORTS ACADEMY FOUNDATION.
New Media Marketing and Events, Inc. has announced today that has
been “left with no other choice” but to draft a lawsuit against former Red Sox
GM Dan Duquette, present interim GM of the NY Mets Jim Duquette, Director of
Player Personal for the Boston Celtics Leo Papile, the Dan Duquette Sports
Academy and the Sports Academy Foundation.
New Media introduced and played a major role in negotiations
between Duquette and Papile. Papile now serves as one of Duquette’s instructors
at his Sports Academy. Papile also received $10,000 from the DDSA as a part of a
sponsorship package. New Media also introduced Papile to Reebok and other
possible corporate sponsors.
New Media was hired to work as a marketing consultant for the Dan
Duquette Sports Academy and the Sports Academy Foundation in April of 2002. New
Media brought in key players to serve as Board of Advisor members for the
New Media also worked with Dan Duquette on personal PR issues
since April of 2002 until January of 2003 (such as his appearance at WEEI’s
Whineys Awards). New Media also worked on personal PR issues for Leo Papile such
as contacting local sports radio programs.
Speaking of Dastardly Dan, the Smug One says hello from the
Springsteen show. Other local "luminaries" spotted included Bill Walton, Gerry
Callahan, Bob Neumeier chatting with The Lucchinos in the bowels of Fenway, The
Ubiquitous Joseph Abboud, and the kid who got busted for selling "The Boss"
(front) "Springsteen 03" (back) shirts outside the park. A Fantastic show from
this perspective. A proud night for Fenway and Boston. Kudos to everyone
involved in pulling it off. Are Simon and Garfunkel next?
Congratulations to Original Dirt
Dog Eli Roth on the debut of his feature film
Cabin Fever. Go see it in theatres (and see Thirteen if you get
a chance. Powerful beyond belief.)
Yes, still looking for Nomar to
settle with Sox. No, suddenly
not looking for Grady to get s**tcanned at the end of the season. We're lobbying
that he's going to get strong consideration for Manager of the Year
before all is said and done.
Walk a day in Pete's shoes: Peter Gammons mentioned
that he "I've walked those streets of Manobuaybo (sic) with him a couple of
times and looked at all the churches and the schools and all that stuff that
he's built with his own money, ...I know what it means to be from that country."
Even though John Henry Williams turned out to be one of the most
vile human beings this side of former Baylor coach Dave Bliss, a lot of that is
Ted's fault, and no one deserves to suffer with cancer. Hopefully he will get
well, and stay well, and reconsider some of his earlier decisions regarding his
father's life, and death. Until then, we all have to grimace at
"The Ted Williams Tasteless Joke of the
Day" on WBCN and countless other shameless mockeries of Ted's life heard and
seen daily. That's on your record John Henry. Turn it around while you can. On a
positive note the SABR symposium
"Ted Williams: The Man" and "Ted Williams' Impact on Boston Baseball"
took place earlier today at the Boston
Thanks to NECN's Chris Collins for making us the guest baseball
dog on his Sports Late Night show again last month. And, as always, thank you to
Mr. Bob Lobel for finally finding a way to get our graphics, images, and
headlines on Channel 4's sportscasts in August as well as mentioning us on
NESN's SportsPlus and raving about the site needlessly on WEEI with Mustard and
Johnson a few weeks back.
Godalmighty. For the billions of you that email us with RemDog
questions, go to the friggin'
www.theremyreport.com. And ask Jerry where our commission is. We'll take a
dozen XLs at this point. Have your guy send them over Rem. Sure we'll take some
scorecards and hats too. I guess our invite to the $250-a-head Bourgeois Bruce
Bash on the Monster got lost in the mail.
Changing seasons. It's that time of year again when the Red Sox
change their t-shirt colors. The original camouflage Timlin design: "He who is
wrapped up in himself is overdressed" has been replaced with the red shirts with
the omnipresent theme "The time is now... So Cowboy Up!"
Remember when Manny signed for the $160 Large, he said "I'm tired
of seeing the Yankees win all the time." I guess he now figures, if you can't
beat 'em, join 'em, since playing for the Yankees when his "big contract with
Boston" is done is "one of my biggest dreams right now." That's what he said.
And neither Joe Morgan or Morgan Fairchild can spin it any other way.
Separated at Birth: Yankee GM Brian Cashman and Red Sox scribe
Tony Massarotti. No question about it.
Ben there, done with that. Word around Cambridge last spring was
that Bennifer was on the rocks and that Ben himself wanted out. Way before
Strippergate. We sent it in on the breakup when the odds were 35-1. We're now
cleaning up like Neumy at Saratoga. So on the Affleck appearance with Sean and
Jerry on UPN 38 last month, Ben said in the booth "I love the Dirt Dogs website.
I'd love to be an honorary Dirt Dog"... much to Rem's chagrin. After the cutaway
to a Manny bomb, Ben was back on camera hawking "TheRemyReport" and sporting the
gray shirts and hat.
Jim Rice said that wildcard rival Seattle had really taken on Lou
Pinella's persona when the M's were last in town. Too bad Bob Melvin is the
The Dominican stowaways discovered locally last month were on a
barge called "Star Chaser" and had to speak with the head of the Dominican
consulate in Boston. His name? Pedro Martinez.
Over on The Sons of Sam Horn discussion board, poster Big Red
Kahuna reports on a
morning exchange with Grady Little in Boston.. In the thread, Grady reveals
that "fans don't see me exude passion, but I am fired up inside. Just my style.
I am not the type to show emotions, high or low, too much. I think this team
responds better to that type of leadership." When asked, he also confirmed that
some players have been to SoSH (Umm, take a wild guess as to how they found the
site guys?). And for those who are still looking for the link to the SoSH
you can bookmark it here.
A few more selects from the inbox...
The Sound of Music:
"Dudes, I love the site and check it out everyday. As a
transplanted Bostonian now living on the west coast, you guys provide one stop
shopping for the info hungry sox fan. Keep up the good work.
One request though, please leave out the bad BCN generic rock
backing! I can't stand another faux Eddie Vedder over emotional vocalist! If you
are going to use music, use something classic Boston, like the Pixies or Buffalo
Tom, or the Gigolo Aunts
So Cal Sox Fan"
SCSF, we're working on the music mix. Tough to please everyone.
Our first artist featured was Josh Kelly, who is fast becoming the next Dave
Matthews as he's now backing up Jewel and continues to get accolades all over
Boston and beyond. Our second featured artist, Sloth, does the opening for the
ESPN series "Players" if you thought you recognized the opening song. Jury is
still out of Story of the Year, thanks for the feedback (you can also just click
off the HTML window, turn down the volume, or get an easy pop-up-blocker on the
Google or Alexa toolbar). We're working on getting Trauser on board once the
debut album is complete.
This reply from our Edesdropping friend
"Gee guys, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. Who knew you were so
sensitive? (you have no idea Kathryn)
As you correctly point out, I read your site--every day in
fact--and despite your less than gracious invitation to vacate your page, I will
continue to read it.
Sometimes I swear people with a sense of humor are a dying breed
(or was she teasing us?).
I love your site and check in daily, especially as a relocated
Bostonian in Arizona.
But let's give Petey Punchado a break. He's the man.
We haven't bashed our brother Petey in days. Give us a break man.
We're doing it to fire him up. He needs us to transform into the Angry Ace. He
Another big fan writes:
"You ought to be ashamed of yourself. You are just the disgusting
type of yellow journalist that would have tried to ride Teddy Ballgame out of
town back in the day."
Mom, I told you to stop emailing me!
And more from the shamelessly-patting-ourselves-on-the-back
department, kind words as always from good friend Ed Cossette of
Bambino's Curse and
Sports Net New England:
The DirtDogs site can be negative of course. Remember
when I called them the
jihad of Red Sox Nation? Sometimes (heck, many times!) those guys
piss me off big time, but that's part of the fun. I often
like to play yin (positive) to their yang (negative). And regularly they
have me laughing with those headlines and pictures which I find to be one of the
more creative expressions on the entire web. Moreover, in my mind it's not fair
to lump them with the negativity that comes out of the brick and mortar,
traditional media. The roles are just too disimilar (sic).
So keep on rockin'...
Other housecleaning: We have not sent out any 2003 Dirt Mails
yet. Just don't have the bandwidth with while focusing on keeping the site
fresh. Just check here. Will get it organized again and get something out if we
The online store is offline. Have a
few hats left to ship, they are $23.00 shipping included. Sorry, sorry (will
reply to the emails soon, you don't want to know). Shirts are essentially gone.
Again, cannot do new shirts this season. May do our new BDD Cowboy Up logo on
Cafe Press, stay tuned, and thanks for the requests and suggestions.
We're all on board the Positivity Train. Go Sox!!! As Ted Sarandis would say,
"The RED SOX ARE FINDING A WAY TO WIN BALL GAMES!!" Each word pronounced with
exaggerated emphasis and clenched teeth!
7.23.03: Another E-5.
Garciaparra called the press box Sunday to try to
overturn an error
(he hotdogged it a bit
coming in on a groundball but was clearly out of control). Give some
to get more love from
the official scorer Nomie. Oh and happy 30th birthday buddy.
The Truth still hurts.
Crazy Carl the other night on The Worst Damn Sports Show ever (on Boston
fans) "...the last time I was there all 33,000 of them were idiots. The
truth hurts to those who don't like the truth."
Gordon Edes says in his
boston.com @bat Insider mailbag today "Historically, the club has
tried to give Pedro extra rest whenever possible, but believe me, there
were a few people, starting with the GM, who would have liked to have
seen Pedro on the hill in the first game out of the break."
Toughest ticket in town.
No not Springsteen (thanks
BoSoxClub BoSoxLady for my ticket :-), Western Mass
groundskeeper Dan Duquette is entering, stage left this summer as the
manager of the Washington Senators in the Pittsfield, MA production of
"Damn Yankees." The Duke has been taking singing and acting lessons to
prepare for his role of Benny Van Buren, who inspires his team to win
the pennant with a rendition of "You Gotta Have Heart." "Damn Yankees"
will be staged from July 31 to Aug. 3. at Wahconah Park. Proceeds from
the play's $10 tickets will go toward the restoration of Pittsfield's
No more "Not Your
Typical Kids?" Sounds like TC got the Big V last night on NESN. Speaking
of TC, he and Tony Mazz made a fine pair filling in for Andelman on the
I didn't know Jesse
Orosco had a son named Jesse who played major league baseball.
John Henry is expected
to spend a bundle on the screwed fans of Opening Day coming on Friday
afternoon, August 8th. The original offer of free plasma TVs for the
first 33,363 has been upgraded to
Mini Coopers for everyone. The Stones
may do The Anthem if Elvis isn't available.
Hey Eck, it's "dirt
dogs" not "dirt balls."
Kevin Paul Dupont's "cleaning out the drawer"
column yesterday was the worst I've ever read of its kind. Any
sport. Any paper. Any writer. Any time. Unfunny. Unclever. Irrelevant.
Where's Shaughnessy? Dupont is no Bob Ryan. He spent the space trying to
convince us he had the pedigree to write about the Red Sox. I don't care
when he was an usher or that he was chasing Leslie Visser around the
Pesky Pole in '76, he just doesn't get it. Don't quit your day job Kevin
where your puck prowess is unmatched. But you're offside between the
Best wishes to Tony Cloninger who
has beaten bladder cancer. Hope he can be back with the team for the
Shameless self promotion bin:
Hey, our two year
anniversary was this week. Billions and billions served. Actually we're
the largest unofficial fan site of any pro sports team running near
4,000 visitors a day (bumped by the Varitek web vote article in the
Are there any Yankee fans out there who want to
get into a free-for-all on Ed Berliner's Sports Pulse (Comcast,
CN-8) on Thursday night? Send in an email if you're up for it. Also
flying solo on
Sports Late Night
with Chris Collins
on NECN this coming Sunday night (yikes).
Curses. The new NESN Red Sox Rewind show is playing off
The Curse in their ads. So is Amtrak in their radio spots. Ed Cossette of
Bambino's Curse will get more airplay as well with the HBO fiasco coming out
in September :-) But glad to hear Ed knows that nothing is mean if its funny
"Meanwhile, Silva over at DirtDogs has done it again. The
picture of the grandma with the parasail saying
Manny, No Hands!" is the funniest thing I've seen all season. As you know,
I don't support the "let's pile on Manny (or Pedro or[ fill in the blank])"
side of Red Sox fandom, but if you are going to adopt that stance, at least
make it humorous rather than mean. And this is big time funny. Right up there
with the Fat Joe as Colon pic on DirtDogs
back in January. Bravo."
Meanwhile, WB Mason continues to pour the Babe on, showing
the 1945 and 1965 Red Sox World Series banners that never were. And now they
paid about a hundred bucks to anyone who would take it to say "Who knew?" Awful.
Weirdest Email of the Week:
I just read your article about
Ted Williams being frozen. You might be interested in discussing my
current Ebay auction in which I offer the exact same cryonic suspension
option to the general public. (Ebay Auction # 2941711838) LES / Les Fox
(NY Times bestselling author.) P.S. Cryonic suspension does not promise
immortality or even a return to life from death. It simply offers the
Wolf in Sheep's Clothing, from
John Bennett, Shelburne VT:
"That Rich Wolf book, "For Red Sox
Fans Only!", is a bigger scam than
"Curse of the Bambino." They slapped together a bunch of emails from people
they chased around the internet (some great tales from our SoSH brethren)
and sold it for $25.00 (just in time for father's day). It's not a book.
He's a crook."
I just read this with interest in your Barks and Bites column. My name is
John Bennett, and I have a "chapter" in the book (pg 79) and some other
blurbs. I agree 100% with your observations on Rich Wolfe, and I thought I
would share my experiences as to how I got in the book.
First of all, I have never met, emailed, or spoken to Rich Wolfe. I have no
idea who he is.
Second of all, they have screwed up a few minor (but to me at least
important) details in my piece. I am not a math teacher, I am a history
teacher, I am not 34 years old, I don't live in Burlington VT, and Keith
Moon most assuredly did not play drums for the Rolling Stones. Attributing
such facts to me makes me look stupid.
Third, and most important- here is how I got into this book -
I was interviewed by a woman named Rhonda Sonnenberg at her home in St
Petersburg FL, while I was making my annual visit to Red Sox spring training
in February, 2002. Rhonda is the wife of Peter Golenbock, who wrote the
book Fenway among other books. I knew Peter a little bit and had a mutual
acquaintance with Rhonda, which is how they came to contact me.
All of my interviews were conducted on tape. That's why I can't figure out
how she screwed up the details I related above.Rhonda means well,
but she obviously made a few errors that she should have
checked with me. Still, she is a real victim in this- because she did all
the work for Wolfe, and he ended up putting his name on the book and did not
mention her a bit, a real shame. I heard he bought her off but I don't know
I had to buy the damned book myself. The very LEAST they could have done was
to give me a comp copy, but to this date I've not heard anything from Rhonda
or Wolfe. I never was given a release form or allowed to see the final
version of my interview before it hit print. I feel like Kramer - he's making
money telling MY stories.
So, I am grateful to see that you blasted him, and I'm not through with him
yet. Feel free to share my above comments with others, I suspect the other
people who were interviewed for the book (including my friend Bruce Bosley
of UVM Athletics) are telling similar tales. Luckily, I don't feel that many
people are going to end up buying the book, although seeing it in
Waldenbooks made me wonder.
I am also glad to see the work of Art Martone linked on your site. Art and I
contributed to several Big Bad Baseball annuals, in fact I stepped in and
wrote the Red Sox article for him in 1999 when he was unable to do so. He
has many great insights.
Thanks and keep up the good work,
And way back in Pittsburgh, Red
Larry Lucchino was
kind enough to chime in (from his BlackBerry no less) "Thanks for the
cleverness." How lucky is that?
Late addition: Yes Ben Affleck, you can be an honorary Dirt Dog,
and we're glad you love the site (just don't say it in front of Remy on TV next
6.26.03 Bring 4th some competition. The Tigers are terrible. Imagine how steamed Pete would be if
he didn't get a win today? Cannot wait for the Yankee games in New
So when is Casey
Fossum actually coming back to pitch? It's been 19 days and he
hasn't thrown off a mound yet.
wouldn't send a bag of balls for Senor Armando" -- Gordon Edes' two
cents on Benitez in his boston.com chat today.
Hench got married
while the Sox lost three times in the Philly Fiasco. Can't wait for
the next Hardball.
When is David
Murphy coming up to play centerfield? He's been winning enough games
for Lowell already.
"Bullpen saves it:
Pedro wins again" -- the headline for Ian Browne's game story on
redsox.com tonight. How funny is that. Pedro has five wins, last one
on May 15th.
How to be a hit at
your 4th of July barbecue: When Timlin comes in to pitch the seventh
in Yankee Stadium say "this is a high-leverage situation for him."
Did you know Freddy
Sanchez' wife was in The Fresh Prince of Bel Air? And that Freddy
has played hoop with Will Smith and Brian McKnight?
Ed Cossette and Bambino's Curse (dot com) for getting picked up by
Fox Sports Net New England's website. Always a great read. Loved
"The Jihad Front of Red Sox Nation" tag he gave us, but had to tweak
it slightly for political reasons. And thanks to Ed for Los
Perros de Suciedad.
to Lefty and Righty the new Sox mascots that we read about in The
Wall Street Journal last January? And who's got my Springsteen
Missed the Real
Sports' John-Henry-Williams-is-a-Scumbag show for the second night
in a row. But it seems no one cares anymore anyway.
We'll never find
out who shot Kennedy. And we'll definitely never find out if Grady
knew the Embree/Timlin/Thome splits on Saturday.
When is Bob Ryan
coming back? And how about my UMass man Steve Cooper to replace Mean
Gene Levanchy on 7?
Aren't you glad
Theo never signed infielder Edgar Alfonzo for billions of dollars?
He's horrible and hurting.
The W.B. Mason Babe
Ruth ad is adding insult to injury. They now show close-ups of the
1945 and 1965 World Series banners that never were. And they signed
on Doug Mirabelli and Jeremy Giambi to be their "Who?"
spokespersons. Speaking of bad commercials, who do you hate more in
the Sam Adam's spot, "Me four!" or the smug fraud who says "I'll
have a Sam Adams please" then purses his lips? Trot Nixon is doing
some Clio-bound Clay Chevrolet radio spots. And Ira Motors? I hate
it like that.
No it's not a typo.
The Picnic in the Park tickets are $250.00 each. But they're tax
That Rich Wolf
book, "For Red Sox Fans Only!", is a bigger scam than "Curse
of the Bambino." They slapped together a bunch of emails from people
they chased around the internet (some great tales from our SoSH
brethren) and sold it for $25.00 (just in time for father's day).
It's not a book. He's a crook.
A couple of outings
Boston Sports Media Watch tagboard (like a discussion board)
shut it down fast. But the resourceful Bruce Allen is back up and
running bigger and better with his own media message board. $10 gets
you in. No, don't know what Bill Griffith was talking about in the Globe when he said, "Accountability in Web chat? What a
Hey we got a plug
from Kevin Gray in the Union Leader in his notes column:
— Quality presentation with an editorial touch. From last week:
“Pedro Won’t Speak to Fans After Tonight’s Talk (unless a fellow
Dominican gets caught cheating, then he’ll soapbox about his
personal persecution in America again).”
That's the most
random piece of content he grabbed, but hey that's OK.
Fox features an
All-Star photo montage promo with Pedro and Bonds in front for each
league. At this point, Pedro has almost no shot to make the team.
And he'll be lucky to end the season with 13 wins. File under: Curse
of the Early Optionino.
Lastly, what the
hell happened to the chicken fajita stand under the right field
seats? It was removed during the last homestand. The sausage guys
aren't talking. It was the only decent meal in the ballpark. I
demand an answer.
6.17.03 'Sports Dreams' turns to Nomar
nightmare. The peel-and-win promotion was featured from January 3 through
February 14 on more than 31 million medium, large and extra-large
hot beverage cups at close to 1,500 Dunkin' Donuts franchises in the
Boston, Providence, Springfield and Hartford markets. "We at Dunkin'
Donuts are excited to once again provide our loyal customers with
unique, once-in-a-lifetime opportunities to interact with their
favorite professional athletes and major-league teams," said Dunkin'
Donuts Regional Marketing Manager Tom Manchester. "We are proud to
be able to provide our consumers with the chance to realize their
greatest sports fantasies."
prizes will provide winners with unique opportunities to interact on
a personal level with some of New England's premier athletes"
including having Dunkin' Donuts spokesperson Nomar Garciaparra as
"Honorary Team Captain" at a Little League game in the winner's home
town in MA, CT, RI or NH. (In 2003....Odds 1:31,000,000...Actual Retail Value
Or one loser.
"I'm looking forward
to working with Dunkin' Donuts again on the 'Sports Dreams'
promotion," said Nomar. "I had a lot of fun participating in the
promotion last year and it was great feeling to know that you had
made somebody's sports fantasy come true."
all sounded great on the cue cards. And Dunkin' Donuts sold a lot of
coffee I'm sure, which helped pay Nomar more than a baker's dozen.
I mention we had a winner? Oh yes, the Cal Ripken Little League team
in Hudson, MA was lucky enough to have won the prize of having Nomar
come out and coach them for the final game of the season. The word
got out fast. Hundreds of 11-year-old kids were abuzz about Nomar
Garciaparra coming into their own backyard to wrap up the spring
season with them. The championship game was held off so it would
happen on Nomar Night, invites went out for a big splash for the
All-Star's appearance on Monday June 9th, the off day before the Sox
started their homestand...
call came in Thursday before the big day. Nomar can't make it, he
has "family obligations."
on your wedding last Monday Nomar. Obviously that would be the only
possible reason for you to disappoint an entire community and a
hundred little kids right? And the season's over. Kids are gone. No
make-up game for Garciaparra. File under: Do's and Donuts.
5.31.03 The Gloves Come Off. Because here they can. And because we miss Will
Don't shed a tear for the recently departed Shea-hole.
Despite what Steve Buckley tells you, this muscled-up meatheat mouth-breather was never a true dirt dog. And he's
never been liked by his teammates outside of Crazy Carl and
Shea has been a prick to the press (and some coaches) from his days in Trenton to his final act
of busting up a Johnny Damon interview with an expletive-laced tirade. If you ever watched his blank stare, huffin' and puffin'
interviews on the NESN post-game "uncuts" over the years, you knew something was
wrong with this cat. Dumb as a box of rocks, Hillenbrand could not resist taking
both public and private shots at Theo on his way out the door as reported here.
A classless act by a true horse's ass. He claimed to love his team but could
never bring himself to say he loved Boston. Be glad he's gone. Most of his
Lord John Harrington is a pig and should move into a
cozy jail cell a million miles from Boston with his pal Cardinal Lawless. First
this scumbag literally stole Mrs. Yawkey's jewelry collection while she lay on
her death bed to grab some extra cash for his coffers. Then during the team's
sales process he ran up the price to a mind-boggling $700 million, handicapping
the franchise and new owners just so he could fill his need for greed and take
care of his horrible henchmen. But in his last sin, he helped cover up the ongoing
sexual assaults of Winter Haven clubhouse boys by Donald Fitzpatrick for years and
required anyone bidding for the club to be liable for the pending lawsuits that
were recently settled, thus washing his dirty hands of the whole ugly mess. Sorry
John, this one goes on your resume too. Boston College must be "awfully proud of
you" as Grady would say.
Speaking of Harrington's henchmen, Disingenuous Dan Duquette went on WEEI's Big Show yesterday to pitch his baseball academy.
Problem was he was asked a few questions prior. In true Duke style, he dusted
off the same cue cards he used for eight years here. No matter the question, he
had a prepared answer unrelated to it. From backing Carl Everett over his
manager, to his mishandling of the Clemens negotiations, his mistreatment of Red
Sox legends, to the Ivory Tower of lies, smugness, and intimidation he presided
over, the Duke danced his usual cliché dance in true Bill Clinton fashion. And
since he's basically a groundskeeper at a kid's camp, it's good to see
that water does indeed seek its own level. You'd have to be on heroin to hire
this fraud in a MLB management position. But some fool will bite and take on the
Duke next year, thankfully his tenure here is over.
Booooo. Pedro Martinez arrives in camp and immediately
creates a media circus, manipulating the press and the fans to get paid for the
2004 season early. He wins. He then immediately trashes the new owners for not
paying him in advance for 2005, 2006, and beyond so he can continue
to build castles in the Dominican. He immediately gets called on it and thus
decides he no longer needs to be accountable to the fans that made him a hero in
this town. Then the Fragile Flamethrower goes on his regular DL trip a month
early. Can't pitch in two critical series against the Yankees, the team he
threatened to go to if he wasn't extended in the spring. And while his current team was tossing bats
in the clubhouse after the disastrous loss in New York, he was laughing and yukking it up with his personal entourage while his teammates' guts were turned
inside out. Paydro may be back to
pitch after a month off, five innings here, an extra day off there, but don't
expect him to be back here after the last $17.5 million gets deposited. As one
prominent member of the media described the Delicate Dominican, he's "the
If Grady Little comes back to mismanage this team
next year I'll eat my hat.
John Burkett proceeded to go out and get shitfaced
with two (innocent and therefore unnamed) teammates until at least 1:00am the night
(well actually same day) before his 11:00am
Patriot's Day shellacking thus giving up a win before the game even started. The
Globe decided to send Brian McGrory (Barnicle replacement in the City section)
into the popular Boston watering hole to say "we think we have a story here" a
week later to which the bartenders who challenged Burkett to drink up replied
"there's no story here, get lost." So I guess there's no story there, move along.
If John Henry can't cut this strike-lovin', Toronto bag packin', fake trip home
makin', 85mph fastball throwin', mixed-drink swillin' phony, then what's the
point of having a billionaire owner? It's a bad Duke contract John, not one of
yours, so it's OK to release him yesterday. Plus he's got a career as a Pro
Bowler waiting for him.
Is it too much to ask for "I want A-Rod money" Manny
to carry the team for a game or two? Can he hit a HR that doesn't make a 7-2
game 9-2? Can he control his ADD to the point where he can make an outfield play
in Yankee Stadium without thinking about his last at-bat? Is that too much to
ask for 20% of the payroll at $20 million per year? Guess so. But we're awfully
proud of this kid right Grady?
Bob Ryan will be back any day now. Can't believe he
made that outrageous statement can you? But yes, he said it: "Max Kellerman is a
genius, and I don't throw that term around lightly." Sorry Bob, for that you
should be suspended for a year. If Kellerman who runs that painful ESPN calamity
is a genius, I'm Albert frickin' Einstein.
Et tu, Jerry? I know you're following company orders by
wiping the "dirt dog" name off all the statues in the city but did you have to
call yourself "Remdawg" with a d-a-w-g? I thought you grew up across
the (Fall) river from me? I didn't realize you were from Somerset, Georgia. Why not go with the
signed-off-on pedestrian term "gamers" to get away from it all? "Dawg" is flat
out dumb. And if you want some help with that website of yours, give me a ring.
Patches goes for career loss number 155 tomorrow. Go
For those complaining about the Johnny Damon free
ride, it's over. Rock star bats ninth today. But don't worry, Girls Still Gone
Wild over those sideburns.
Hey Johnny Valentin, the Backstreet Boys called,
they want their blond highlights back. Seriously, if you want to be a media star
you actually have to do some research, have an opinion, and bring something to
As if Wednesday's gut-wrenching loss to the Yankees wasn't painful enough, NESN
watchers were immediately subjected to that horrendous W.B. Mason commercial
featuring the Babe Ruth sale-to-the-Yankees (The Truth About Ruth). Sean McGrail
should be ashamed of himself for ever allowing that ad on the air. And W.B.
Mason should fire their ad agency, Baldwin and Stone, immediately for even
comping up the idea. On the plus side, NESN had the good sense to finally stop
running "The Red Sox have done it again tonight!" in-house plug featuring one of
the only comeback wins last season (Damon walk off homer vs. Angels). Talk about
false advertising. Lastly, "Get Real. Go Sox?" Umm, yeah, OK, whatever that
If there's a God, the godawful Red Shirts that take
away our home field advantage and make a mockery out of Red Sox tradition are
gone for good. "Paint the Town White" Doctor Charles, leave the Cranberries in
4.25.03 Sox get killed, then
kill on Kimmel.
The ABC late-night variety show opens with Jimmy
Kimmel walking down the sidewalk with daughter Katie as it's bring your
daughter to work day.
A polished professional announcer bellows out "From Hollywood, It's Jimmy
Kimmel Live... Jimmy's guests tonight Dale Earnhart Junior, from Playboy
magazine Joe Millionaire's Sarah Kozer, child prodigy Robert Tsi, and this
week's co-host Jamie Kennedy... we're the 2003 World Champion Boston Red Sox,
now here's Jimmy Kimmel!!"
The main studio camera soon reveals that the born-to-be-carnival barker was
none other than Red Sox second baseman Todd Walker. He's a pro. Also gathered
round were Kevin Millar, Johnny Damon, Trot Nixon, Jason Varitek, Manny
Ramirez, and David Ortiz. Manny is in a kick-ass get-up with a cowboy hat. He
steps out to take a bow, slides back in looking like he wanted to start
Jimmy welcomes "the 2003 Boston Red Sox" by asking "Manny, what is with that
hat? (Ortiz says something to Manny, they laugh). You guys just got back from
Texas tonight to play a game, how'd it go?"
Millar tries to get by with "Great game!"
Walker then chimes in with "didn't work out too well."
"What was the final?" asks Kimmel.
Millar admits "It was 16-5" (crowd ooooh... some Sox sheepishly grin) then...
Johnny Damon (remember those initials) steps up and says perfectly "Nothing
our friend Jack Daniels can't take care of"
(big laughs all around)
"See Katie if they had won tonight they get to go on Leno, since they lost,
they come here" Jimmy said to his daughter. "This is the greatest night of our
producer Daniel Kellison's life. (Daniel is there with Red Sox home jersey,
his daughter Cloe on shoulders). My daughter Katie's not as cute as Cloie, but
she used to be."
Jimmy went on to do a bit on SARS and the Yankees. (Millar: "Ain't that a
bitch). Sox aren't afraid of getting it and said that they just went to
Toronto last week. Dale Earnhart, Jr. came out (Nixon, Varitek, Millar
thrilled) but he revealed that he is a Braves/Yankees/Clemens three-times
After prodigy Robert Tsi played the piano, Jimmy says "look at that, the Red
Sox are here and some of them have tears in their eyes, not because of your
performance... mostly because they can't wait to get out of here to go pick up
girls in Los Angeles."
4.20.03 A game of inches. With
the bases loaded and one out for Toronto, Chris Woodward stroked a Lowe ball
down the right field line that landed foul in an area three inches too small
to put in one more row of John Henry seats. What could have been 3-0 Jays
remained 0-0 as Derek struck out Woodward and got Hudson to ground out to end
the second inning threat. "Amazing" said Derek Lowe last night in Boston,
"it's really a game of inches."
It was two years ago to the night that we last caught up with Derek Lowe at
another popular Boston watering hole the night before Easter. All was going
great with the 2001 Dirt Dogs as Manny had just got the winning hit off
Mariano Rivera the night before. Rod Beck, smoking Camels two-at-a-time had
just lost all that weight (and speed off his 78 mph fastball :-). And Derek
was the team's new closer. The next day after his night out, D-Lowe comes on
in the 8th inning against the Yanks and promptly gives up four hits, hard.
Luckily Arrojo was able to come on and record the early season save. But
D-Lowe's season began spiraling downward after Easter Sunday. Fast forward two
years and D-Lowe admits that he doesn't go out as much anymore. With baseball
players rivaling Hollywood celebrities in Boston, Derek is still a tad
resentful that he was "scrutinized too much" during his nightmare 2001 season.
He's in a good place now. Conceding that he's "not pitching that well yet"
Lowe is pleased with his 3-1 record and the current roll
the team is on even though "it feels like we've lost every game" (must be the
negative fanbase and media around here :-).
In talking about the Yankees quick start and Matsui's early success, Derek's
thinking is "second time around the league, he'll be nothing." Agreed,
considering Matsui's never seen a sinker like Derek's in Japan. When asked if
the Sox dropped the ball by not signing new Yankee stopper Juan Acevedo in the
off-season, D-Lowe replied "he's no good, Fox is just as good." Let's hope so.
So Pedro will no longer speak to the fans through the press. He is now
officially on the Manny Media Diet, punishing us for what could be the rest of
the season for the smattering of boos he heard last Saturday. He is also angry
that some writers printed his selfish comments about his long-term deal being
"off the table" after he was granted his extension seven months early. And Dan
Shaughnessy "dirt poor" Dominican Republic comments may have been the straw
that broke the camel's back.
But you can't have it both ways Pedro.
You cannot manipulate the team through the media with the "I'll leave if they
don't sign me by the start of the season" and "imagine Pedro in pinstripes"
comments to get your option picked up, then get all bent out of shape when
they write that you wanted even more the day after the team caved.
Suck it up Pete. Stop pouting. And talk to the fans that pay your fat salary
and make you the most popular athlete in Boston. Kevin Millar is about to
knock you off that pedestal if you're not careful.
Mike Greenwell has been consulting with Pedro Martinez on his lifetime
not-talking announcement that stunned The Nation on Friday night. As a result,
Pedro will be speaking in Texas on Tuesday. In the meantime, the Sox are
interviewing Baghdad Bob to be the new spokesperson for the Pampered Pouter.
On Sunday, Pedro was all smiles at the Park, taking pictures with the fans
during picture day, laughing, mixing it up, saying hello to everyone... even
Now comes Millar Time. Also on Friday, Kevin Millar relinquished his name for
MLB merchandise across the board. As you may recall Millar is not a union
4.14.03 Boo Who? From 10 rows
behind the plate on Saturday night, Pedro Martinez seemed a world away. The
man we watched on the mound had average velocity, everything was hittable, and
the end location was out of his control. The national league scouts watching
him couldn't agree on what the problem was. Was it his arm slot? Was it the
layoff and the rain? Is his arm heavy? Is he hurt? Is he having an off night?
Is all the contract talk still weighing on his mind? One thing is for sure,
that wasn't Pedro being Pedro. Hopefully he's back to form on Friday.
When Grady started his approach out of the dugout to yank
the imposter, the undercurrent of boos began, the kind you used to hear when
Jimy Williams would come out of the dugout to take Pedro out of the game too
soon. But this time, the boos were directed at Pete. As Martinez walked
towards the dugout, a large contingent of fans stood up and cheered in an
attempt to drown out the boos. But as Petey hit the top step of the dugout, he
isolated on one rockhead (no it wasn't our contingent, thanks for asking) who
had yelled out something to the effect of "Are you kidding me? We paid $18
million for that? What a joke!." Pedro momentarily froze and stared back at
the Yankees Suck t-shirt wearing meathead. That famous Pedro stare. Cold as
ice. The rest of the 7,477 booing fans were spared the direct connect.
While the catcall comments were unnecessary, the boos were
certainly warranted. If not for the hideous performance out there, unbecoming
of the highest paid pitcher in the game, the boos were justified because of
Paydro's bitching and moaning about his contract for weeks leading up to his
home debut. After he said he wasn't talking about it anymore for the tenth
time in February. The boo is a boo. It's no big deal. The boo says "hey Pete,
shut your selfish whiny ass up and pitch." That's all. The little Dominican
flag I take to Pedro's starts just stayed in my jacket for one night. I booed
too. But I'll be right back cheering if he gets back to his old self next time
Standing near the Red Sox dugout during the Friday
ceremonies, Kevin Millar came out to do a one-on-one with Bob Lobel. He was
thrilled to finally be at Fenway as we yelled "MVP," "Millar Time," and for
SoSH "Cabin Mirror" as he spoke. When he wrapped up, he came over to sign
autographs for the kids. Loving every minute, he stood out there with us in
the rain signing as many balls as he could until he was whisked away in
preparation of the ceremonies. He laughed when we told him how the Nation
nearly revolted when he wasn't in the lineup in Baltimore last week. He said
he was the DH today which was fine with us as long as he's in there.
Theo and his posse sat three rows behind the plate for
Pedro's performance, but the GM was gone in a flash after Mike Cubbage's
collapse to make sure his coach was OK. The Nixon clan was close by, and while
Trot was still nursing the flu, they were thrilled with his solid start. Larry
Lucchino got some autograph requests which he was more than happy to fulfill
(no we didn't ask him if he was disappointed in Pedro's post-option comments).
The real highlight of Friday and Saturday was Ray Charles singing "God Bless
America" in the rain while we waived our giant American flag next standing to
Boston's own Uncle Sam. But the game was washed out, unfortunately Saturday
night's debacle wasn't rained out too.
The sun shined on Sunday as things finally went right...
seven American POWs were suddenly free.
4.06.03 Media minutia and more.
Dan Shaughnessy wrote a 'column
by committee' today where he asks the readers to figure out which other Globe
columnists submitted paragraphs for the piece. Well I found a paragraph Dan
didn't come up with on his own, but neither did anyone else on his list.
Shaughnessy writes today that "Boston's closer roulette is proving to be the
most dangerous committee since Senator Joe McCarthy's Committee on Un-American
Activities." Days earlier on this site Kevin Hench wrote "I haven't seen a
committee this ugly since they were throwing screenwriters in jail in the
1950s." Funny, Dano was such an opponent of Hench's Corner in the Globe, yet
he has no problem likening the Bullpen By Committee to the House Committee on
Un-American Activities days after Hench led with that comparison in Hench's
Hardball. We were clearly Barnicled. The question now, will Shaughnessy resign
like Patricia Smith and Mike Barnicle before him?
Shagnasty goes on to take his monthly whack at
Sports Guy Bill Simmons by dumping on the Jimmy Kimmel show for the second
time this year. But the funniest line in today's Globe relates to the Sox
possible exposure to Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (SARS), the mystery
illness from China that has appeared in Toronto. All-Star non-grata John
Burkett says ''I'm not going to do any autograph sessions when I'm there."
Umm, OK John. So what will the thousands of Burkett fans camping outside the
Red Sox hotel do now?
If you get RCN in Boston, you got a little
pre-pre-game banter and visuals on NESN Saturday. Apparently the cameras were
plugged in early on the alternate feed, so we got to see Bob Tewksbury
practicing his studio pose and Bob Rodgers discussing their hair-do's and
don'ts. They were just about to go after Eck's mullet and moustache when
someone figured out the cameras were running.
On Saturday Night Live, the first skit was
Brockton Rox owner Jimmy Fallon, and our friend Elke Dratch's cousin Rachael,
playing "Sully and Denise" the overdone, overdumb Red Sox fanatics. While
sitting in the mocked-up Fenway Bleachers, Sully proclaims "this is the year"
as "Jetah's in the Crappah," while Denise chimes in "and Nomah's back." Bernie
Mac did a great job playing a Fenway beer vendor bitching about all the
newfangled food at Fenway. When they get on the Diamond-Vision, Sully asks
Denise McDonough to have sex with him right now. The sad truth is they do
represent the behemoth that is the Yankees Sucks crowd that dominates Kenmore
in the summer.
Back to NESN, Sam Horn and Bob Rodgers just looked
at each other today when a caller asked why can't Jim Corsi come back? Yikes! Jim
was a homer's homer and not exactly cut out for TV. His last rant at the end
of last season included the line "Pedro was just kidding around about his contract... he just
says these things." Yeah right Jim. On another note, Big Sam Horn seems very
comfortable in front of the camera and is a nice addition along with Tewks.
Why he is bitter about Sons of Sam Horn, which does nothing to belittle him,
is beyond me. And Eric Frede is doing an OK job filling in for Tom Caron, but
TC was made for those "Not Your Typical Fan" segments. With the Bruins
expected to get bounced early, TC will be back in the stands before the snow
File under 'No Wonder Nomar Wants to Leave:'
Last season, Nomar was signing an autograph for a fan as he left the park in
his car. When he reached through his sun roof to hand the autograph back to
the fan, his car rolled over the fan's foot. Then the A-hole sued Nomar for
Does that happen in California? While the Sox brass couldn't afford many of the player roundtable
requests last season, they did splurge for additional post-game police
protection to prevent such incidents in the future.
4.02.03 Neyer and naysayers. "All that
makes sense," you might be saying, especially if you don't live in California,
"but why in the hell would you pick the Red Sox to win the World Series?"
Because I can, and because I want to.
Look, it's not really a huge stretch. ESPN.com
polled 27 "experts" -- writers and editors, mostly -- and 15 of the 27
predicted that the Red Sox would either win their division (five votes) or the
wild card (10). And I wasn't the only "expert" who sees the Red Sox going all
the way; ESPN.com Fantasy Games guru Brandon Funston and Diamond Mind
Baseball's Tom Tippett also picked the Sox. - Rob Neyer, ESPN.com
- - -
Someone called the Red Sox bullpen the "Boston
division of the Republican Guard" on The Big Show intro today. While that's a
bit harsh, the sketchy relief corps is second on the minds of The Nation these
days after the U.S. Marine Corps. The ubiquitous term "Closer by Committee"
was uttered in Boston a record 367,875 times today.
While everyone and their grandmother in the
national media is suddenly picking the Sox to win the Series this year, the
tide is turning locally after Tampa's tenacious efforts the past couple of
days. Even though the Sox won the Tuesday night marathon, the pen blew another
save and The Nation is more than happy to accentuate the negative. Even
boston.com's Insider email listed the Sox at 0-2 this morning. Pitching is a
problem. Maybe Person can eventually help. Fossum and Burkett will be the big
tests coming up on the starting end.
But what about the rest of the team so far? Millar
is a star. The infield defense may be a little worse than advertised. Is Julio
Zuleta still in Pawtucket? They could use the glove, and the right-handed bat.
The outfield D may be a little better than people think as Damon chases down
absolutely everything within a mile radius. But there's no speed beyond
Johnny. The rest of the line-up is station-to-station at best (as I watch the
Rays steal bases at will and drag-bunt infield hits... we won't see this at
Fenway). The bats have been soft in general. Not everyone firing on all
cylinders at the same time. Waiting for more OPS less LOBs.
It could be worse. Just ask Derek Jeter.
03.20.03 The skinny on Trot. Last October, Trot looked
terrible, he went home to Wilmington, NC weighing about 194 lbs. Trot's a
little emotional (derh?!) so nothing was said to him, but some were thinking
"JESUS H. CHRIST! Is he sick?".
Trot said, "F*** stealing bases, they pay some
skinny-ass f***** to do that s***. I want to get big, strong and scary and hit
home runs -- feel good again."
His diet was tweaked, increased protein and caloric
intake in general. He did cardio, but none of that Delta
Force-Sprint-'till-you-puke crap he did last year. Last year he came back to
camp around 220 and 8% body fat (that's 202.4 lbs Lean Body Mass (LBM) and 17.6
lbs of other.)
This year he came back at 230lbs. 11% body fat.
That's 204.7lbs of lean body mass and 25.3 of other. That's eight more pounds of
fat but much more importantly, 3 lbs more muscle mass. More muscle to burn the
fat, more fat to preserve the muscle for a much more powerful season.
Trot ain't fat, and he's NO slower. No worries, just
wait and see. He's doubling up on his cardio and maintaining his diet, he'll be
fine. Big season coming, he'll shut people up.
1.16.03 The kids are alright.
kid burst on stage with his '59 French sunburst Les Paul, singing the lead
for the rockabilly riff "Keep On Rockin'". And the whole joint got rockin’
quick. He was the bomb on lead guitar, and lead vocals. Who knew the boy
could sing? He turned it up a notch before it even started. And by his
second song he was knee-deep in a rousing guitar solo. Boy Wonder was on
fire… it was The House of Gammons, Peter can play. And PG was funny,
humble, and a great host all night long.
“There are three addresses I know off the top of my head… 1600
Pennsylvania Avenue, 24 Lansdowne Street, now Yawkey Way, and 2120 South
Michigan Ave., the home of Bo Diddley” winded the gasbag. For their second
and last song, Gammo’s band busted into a Chuck Berry rendition of “Route
66” with Peter taking the lead again, mesmerizing the packed Paradise...
the Fenway Park of rock clubs, complete with three giant poles in the
middle of the floor for that obstructed view feel.
briefly with Theo and his brother Paul, who may be the nicest guy on the
planet, before the GM's weekend band Trauser went on next. As you may have
seen on the news, he was decked out in a gray/black stocking cap for a
while and was sporting a checkered gray-flannel shirt. You’d never know he
was the GM for the Red Sox. He was having a good time, relaxed and kicking
back with his homies, the antithesis of just-down-the-road at ‘The Whineys’
Dan Duquette. Other local luminaries in the crowd included Debbie
Wrobleski taking tickets at the door (no she doesn’t remember my two-hour,
three-drink courtship at Joe’s six years ago apparently), Joe
Amorosino, Jeff Horrigan, Don “young Sinatra” Orsillo… and those were just
the heavy hitters.
ESPN’s Rich Eisen, who is a rock solid poor man’s Chris Rock as the lead
comedian… funny guy, Karl Ravech of Needham fame, and Gammons took the
stage, razzing each other. Eisen was a riot joking about people sending
Gammons $20 bills (as he’s a dead ringer for Andrew Jackson). They read a
few written questions from the crowd “should Gammons replace Selig as
Commissioner?” Ravech yelled out “screw Colon.” Theo came up on stage,
Eisner read message from 'Death Star' “how’s the air up there?” Theo said
“Ask Lucchino.” Lots of jokes thrown PG's way "is there a Peter Gammons
fantasy camp? PG: Yeah, you log on and off all day", but also many items
up for bid including "sit with John Henry for a Yankee game" prizes up for
did you come up with the name Trouser (or is it Trauser)?... is next album
going to be “inside the beltway?” Theo “unzipped.” Actually, the name
came from "an inside joke" between Theo and his sister.
Gammons: “On ESPN, we hate closers blowing games because we have to stay
on and wait. Rob Nenn is responsible for more 3:30am games than any man in
history.” More Gammons: “you have to get to October, then anything can
happen… and waxing nostalgic "you can only be young once but you can
always be immature.”
came on at 9:20pm “on the same stage where U2 began 20 years ago” as PG
introduced them. Theo played lead with a Hendrix/Clapton like blond Strat
with a rosewood fingerboard, no Papa Roach Schecter for this young man,
he’s a purist. His mesa boogie amp was on top of a Marshall cabinet, but
he could have been playing from the Fender amp right next to it. Lead
singer Tara Love (no relation to Courtney) started it off with “I am
mine,” a new song from Pearl Jam. She hit all her high notes. Trouser
followed it up with Neil Young’s “Keep On Rockin’ in the free world.”
Gammons called Theo “Iglasias General Manager” as his hat get-up made him
look like Enrique Iglesias.
Gentlemen” came up next, sort of a Del Fuego’s sound, good stuff ending
with the ballad “Pussywhipped” by the Dogmatics. I think we missed
Fossum, Johnny Damon, in-shape, looking good with some wild-ass hair, all
came onstage. Todd Walker spoke “heard you haven’t won the World Series in
a few years?.... &%#! That, we’ll win the World Series this year.” Fossum
was funny when asked about possibility of being traded all winter: “Every
time I saw that 615 area code, I got nervous.” Naturally everyone yelled
out “it’s 617!” Someone behind me said “he looks like the white Can.”
Fossum weighing 163 says “I eat all I can but can’t gain weight… my wife
is jealous.” Gammons said “We’re all happy he’s still here.”
most importantly, a lot of money was raised for the Jimmy Fund as Boston
continues to lead the way in curing cancer in children. Go to
www.jimmyfund.org to join the fight.)
Addendum: Kieran fills in the blanks as the 6:00am wake-up call cause
a 11:00pm exit:
spoke with Theo, very cool guy, comfortable in his skin, and he was
certainly rockin' out on stage.
signed Petey jersey went for $325!!
thought you would've mentioned Johnny D's onstage antics. Let's just say
he's in shape.....And I wonder if Wakes is feeling good this morning? He
had some good pipes, though, on the closing tune of the night, Cheap
night all round, it sold out a few hours before the show. Next year will
be bigger I expect and it might start to lose its intimate feel.
1.09.03 Going gets tough.
D-Day: "War's over, man. Omar dropped the big
What? Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it
over when Gammons bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!
Boon: Forget it, he's rolling.
Theo: And it ain't over now. 'Cause when the going gets tough . . . the tough
get going. Who's with me? Let's Go! Come on! AAAAEEEEEGGGHHHH!!
Theo is a smart guy...we KNOW you are, Theo. You
don't have to schedule press conference calls, or go on nitwit radio, or
internet chats, etc to tell us. Just do the job you're getting paid to do. And
keep your mouth shut.
Part of the problem with exceptionally bright and
talented, yet still immature, people is that they've got to tell everyone
exactly how smart they are. Let everyone in on their new strategy, and how
Bill James is on board, etc...
How about a couple of quotes?:
1. "It's what you learn after you know it all that
counts" - Earl Weaver
2. "Never tell anyone outside the family what
you're thinking" - Vito Corleone
An example just today: I read this morning Red Sox
Dirt Dog's transcript of Theo's interview, and I just about pooped my pants.
In response to a question about "the most overrated hitting statistic", he
promptly responded " batting average."
Let me see now...you're up to your ass trying to
get somebody to take the AL's #1 3B in batting average in 2002(!!!) off of
your hands, (not to mention he's also the leader in ABs, Hits, 2Bs, and 2nd in
TBs), and you just can't seem to get it done? Maybe because anybody who's ever
listened to you and your cohort Bill James knows that the Shea you're trading
is the guy who only walked 25 times, has a crappy OBP, and so you don't think
very much of him, and are gonna dump him anyway.
Meanwhile, isn't it funny that Mueller's agent
makes a beeline to your door, and bends you over the table to the tune of
$4.5M for 2 years, because he knows how much you value the only offensive
commodity his client maintains?
But Theo, you're smart, you're our guy, and you're
gonna learn. Now, get out there, and earn some respect. Make someone afraid of
you. You need to really make some people pay big time for this. Start by
playing hardball. Make waiver claims on quality people. Jump into Omar's
pending trades now and start showing some interest with those other clubs. Cut
him off at the kneecaps, just because you can. God knows, that piece of &#%!
has it coming to him, and good. Then, feast heartily on his entrails.
Who knows, maybe then you'll get Willie Mac to
cower in fear about you someday. - Caroll Hardy
1.06.03 Will's way. Met Will once. My friend's brother-in-law sang the national anthem at the
Pats-Colts game during the Super Bowl drive in '96. Part of the deal was
having the opportunity to come to the private brunch in Bob Kraft's office
before the game... guys like old man Shaughnessy, not Dan, but the guy with
the construction company, and other corporate guys milling about. So in walks
Will McDonough, and he strolls over to the buffet, where I'm naturally hanging
out, next thing you know my friend, McDonough, Kraft, and I are talking about
Parcells, the game strategy, Chuck Fairbanks for 10 minutes that seemed like
10 seconds. He did make you feel like you were as important as Pete Rozelle in
a football discussion. Unlike some other top dog writers in Boston who won't
even look you in the eye on the street. Will was the real deal. And Ryan said
he would have come around on Lucchino eventually.
1.04.03: Lucchino shows him who's boss.
Special from Caroll Hardy "Your Turn" - Three cheers for
LL! Since when did Will Mac become the Cowardly Lion? He wants the Red Sox to
bring in someone "..hopefully, that someone would be smart enough not to
challenge Steinbrenner." Memo to WM: Drop dead, old man. go watch your
LL is not afraid of Steinbrenner. And he shouldn't be. No, I think that "Evil
Empire" PR shot skillfully fired across the Boss' bow will serve to demonize
the MFYs throughout MLB should they meddle in l'affaire Colon/Vazquez. Giving
Theo a free hand to stretch this thing as long as required to work the best
deal possible. And with the acquisition of Colon/Vazquez to cap off the rest
of the 2002-2003 off-season, the MFYs will be facing the 1984 Tigers in 2003.
And let's give credit where credit is due: to the great work done by Theo and
the new regime finishing up the similar great work started by the DD regime in
locking up our nucleus through 2004.
And let the Boss get furious. What's he gonna do? Jump in and sign everybody?
Fire Archibald Cox? And the rest of MLB is going to sit by idly? I don't think
LL knows exactly what he's doing and is serving notice to the Boss and MLB
that unlike Harrington, et.al, they aren't going to take this lying down.
Never underestimate those old school EBW/ Williams and Connolly guys. They are
masters of public relations and hardball Washington politics, and they
practically (if not actually) invented "spin control" and the art of
demonizing your enemy. LL served with HRC and Bernie Nussbaum on the old House
Impeachment Committee staff, so I bet their mutual animosity goes way beyond
baseball. LL's survived cancer, and he's survived Nixon. I really don't think
he worries about King George III.
and Bites - June - December 2002
Barks and Bites - May 2002
Barks and Bites - March/April 2002
2001 Barks and Bites