BIG DOG BITES

Date: Wednesday, September 19, 2001
From: Big Dog
Subject:  The latest (last?) Mount Everett eruption.

Report follows from redsox.com (straight-talk translation in red/parentheses)

Red Sox fine, suspend Everett for four games
By Mike Petraglia/redsox.com
September 17, 20001

BOSTON -- Outfielder Carl Everett was suspended by the Boston Red Sox today for four games and fined an undisclosed amount as a result of an incident Sunday at Fenway Park (suspension should have been for four years and disclosed fine of $4 million).

Everett's suspension will begin Tuesday, Sept. 18 (and will hopefully end as soon as he's traded to Tampa for a bag of balls or a rosin bag, certainly not worth both).

"The player (why does Duquette insist on talking like a phony press release right to the bitter end?!... 'the player's' name is Carl Everett Dan, you got duped into signing him remember? ...and then you added insult to stupidity when you picked up the option on his contract... we all know who 'the player' is) was late for work on Sunday, and there was also misconduct by Everett in an incident (how 'bout some details guy? Or do we have to get everything from the players directly?) stemming from his being late for work (and what point is he trying to make with this 'late for work' weird statement, it was his closed-door workout/practice he was late for, not like he was punching in at the Post Office)," Red Sox Executive Vice President and General Manager Dan Duquette said during a conference call Monday afternoon. "The club felt (why can't he stand up and say "I felt" or better yet "John Harrington and I felt"...who is the faceless 'club' he always defers to?) it necessary to take definitive action and sanction this behavior (of course he doesn't have the courage to say 'sanction Carl Everett for his reprehensible, inexcusable behavior')."

Duquette, Red Sox Manager Joe Kerrigan and Everett's agent Larry Reynolds were all present during the call (but naturally would not answer any questions and were on board with Duquette's cryptic statement).

"We felt it necessary to take this action especially in light of this week's [national] events (so if not for the national 'events', he would have said 'all that matters is what the player does on the field' like he did when he sandbagged Jimy's managerial career in Boston late last year). We're not going to tolerate this behavior," Duquette continued.

(Dan is the anti Rudy Guiliani of his generation.)