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HENCH’S HARDBALL


Date:  Sunday May 12, 2002

Ugly Loss

The Ghost of 2001 reared its ugly head last night.

On a night when one of those Ugly Heads, ol' sourpuss Mike Lansing, was released by the Indians afer hitting .245 for their Triple A team - did he flip off the lineup card on his way out the door? - the New Sox lost for the second night in a row while outhitting the Mariners.  But the lack of a clutch hit wasn't what was most reminiscent of 2001.  It was a boneheaded play that resulted in injury. 

Two quick, simple questions:  When is it okay to make the first out of an inning at home and when is it a good idea to slide head first into the plate?

Same answer to both: NEVER!  I know our beloved Retarded Baseball Savant is uncoachable, unteachable, unreachable and I understand that he is hitting .372 with a mind-boggling OBPS but someone needs to take him aside and explain every part of the game that does not involve crushing a baseball.

Rooting for Manny is like having a teenage son who lives to party. Eventually you're going to get that bad phone call.  The man of a thousand bizarre slides - feet first into first, head first into home, face first into third - is an accident waiting to happen.

Well, it happened.  Now he has a broken index finger.  The first fissure in our perpetually breaking hearts?  We'll see. Regardless of the prognosis, I give last night's game the finger.

Hardball



Wild Card Wannabees

AL Wild

W

L

GB

Oakland

46

36

---

Boston

45

37

1.0

Anaheim

44

39

2.5

Chicago

42

38

3.0

Tampa Bay

42

41

4.5

AL East

W

L

GB

New York

51

31

---

Boston

45

37

6.0

Tampa Bay

42

41

9.5

Toronto

38

46

14.0

Baltimore

36

45

15.0


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