'Twas the Day Before Christmas

(AP Photo)

'Twas the day before Christmas, when all through the Nation,

We were happy for ‘Tek, but worried about the rotation;

Randy in pinstripes? That deal fell through,

But Pedro went walking to the orange and blue

 

Schill was nestled online, reading a thread,
While thoughts of ripping Petey a new one danced in his head;

But then he looked at his “2004 World Series Champions” cap,

And forgot about the Met and his mouth that yap-yaps

 

When out on the ‘net there arose such a clatter,

Who was getting away? Now what’s the matter?

Typing on boards fingers flew like a flash

Like when Tony Soprano slips his girlfriends the cash

 

And on some dot com I got such a blow,
They were reporting “RJ to NY” is finally a go;
He’s #1 for the Yanks, or so I feared,
But wait – it was on ESPN, and the report was unclear

Johnny Damon was on his honeymoon, the new newlywed,
Now will he pull a Ricky Williams? Will he ever leave his bed?

We'll miss Roberts, and Kapler, OC, D-Lowe and Pete

And Mientkiewicz or Millar, 'cause one of them is hittin' the street

 

Now Curt’s on the shelf, no more blood in his socks,
And D-Lowe is home playing with his mental blocks;
Our starters are gone! Who is to blame?
Who are these new guys? What are their names?

 

“Now, Boomer! now, Miller! now, Clement and Halama!
On, Mantei! plus Payton! and Vazquez and Edgar!
A whole new clubhouse! GM made the call!
Free agents dash away! dash away! dash away all!”

 

But Theo went to the Wells and a Cub named Clement;
Have faith in our genius, it’s money well spent;
And now we’ve got Miller, the second best Wade,
In the history of Boston (so his labrum’s a little frayed)

 

And then, in a twinkling, he was back on the mound,

The prancing and pawing of the old top throwing hound,

Laying his finger aside of the seam,

He gave ‘Tek the nod, an almost impossible dream;

 

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

He went into his windup; then turned with a jerk,

As he threw out his hand, and was coming around,

Down towards home plate, the ball took off with a bound;

 

He threw like the old days, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment, Schill was no longer sick;
His heater’s mid-nineties, the splitter has bite,
Let’s mark him down for eight innings a night!

 

More rapid than eagles came the Opening Day game,

Up went The Flag, the Yanks looked ashamed;
Johnny's speed back in center, Manny’s long drives lit the sky,

Papi had the old stroke back, when he hit ‘em, they fly

 

I sprang to my feet, to the team gave a whistle,

They circled the bases, Schilling threw another missile;

The good times were back for our championship ballclub,

"LET’S GO BACK-TO-BACK, MORE PENNANT FEVER GRIPS HUB"

 

(Thanks to Santa's Helpers Andrew Kuller and Valerie Cwiekowski)

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Schill Thrilled for Tek
But He's Very Put Off by the Stat Heads

(Boston Globe Staff Photo / Matthew Lee)

Curt Schilling to BDD on Jason Varitek: "Christmas came early. I am so friggin' ecstatic about this and so happy for him. Proud that he earned the right to become a free agent and even prouder that he chose to stay where he was needed most. I felt all along that no matter what happened this winter losing 'Tek would cost us more than any player they brought in could make up. He and Doug are as good a tandem as I've ever been around. I'd heard about 'Tek in bits and pieces before coming here but I've never seen anyone put more time and effort into his job both physically and mentally than this guy. I kept getting very put off by the stat heads who argued that this is the age when he will start declining, they have no idea of his makeup, and 'Tek is pretty much worlds apart from other 32 year old catchers I have seen and played with. His value goes so far beyond his offensive numbers that he's worth whatever the number they ended up at IMO. I'm happy for him and for the club, this IMO, goes a long way in putting us on track to try and defend our world championship title."