Around the Bellhorn

On your Mark, get set, Mueller and Roberts go home
Sox win in walk off, 3-2

MLB.con: "Sox lose as Bellhorn strikes out"

Ian Browne checks in with "Dewey beats Truman" gaffe.

"Hi, I am the author of the bogus story that was up on MLB.com for a few moments last night. here is what happened. i have a deadline of filing the story at the last pitch. in the type of game that last night was, my only choice is having one story ready to go if they win and one if they lose. unfortunately, in my rush to get down the locker room after bellhorn's hit, i sent the WRONG microsoft word attachment file to my editor. for some reason, my editor deployed the story as was, without making the changes, even though this person was indeed aware of the final score and knew that the Red Sox had won. it was an operator error on my part, and a terrible editing error on the other side. basically my mistake was flicking the wrong switch, and after all, isn't that why i have editors? anyway, if you could please run my explanation in any way possible, i would appreciate that. i don't want people to think i was making up the wrong score and didn't know that the Red Sox actually won the game. it's tough being compared to Dewey defeats Truman :) thanks a bunch." -- Ian Browne, MLB.com

Schill Win Blown

Curt came up big but Foulke blows save and gets win

Deja O's All Over Again

Mora the same, Wake comes undone,
Baltimore owns Boston 9-6

Sox lose third straight but Ace has 21 tomorrow

Lowe Boat to China Club?

Change in the Weather May Have Forecast Lousy Performance

After the Sox beat the best closer in baseball Friday night, the forecast called for a long period of heavy rain on Saturday. So did D-Lowe and friends decide to stay out a little late thinking they had the next day off? Reports are circulating among people who live in New York City and other media types that some players went out on the town after the big comeback win in the Bronx. One source told Boston Dirt Dogs that Derek and a few teammates were out at the famed China Club past 3:30am Saturday morning. The rain stopped a few hours later and the Sox soon found themselves down 9-0 to the Yankees after the second inning later that afternoon.

"D-Lowe looked like he had an hour of sleep." -- Michael Felger, Fox Sports Net

"...have to wonder if they did not believe it (the game) was going to be played." -- Greg Dickerson, Fox Sports Net

Time to Take a Walk
on the Wild Side

"I went to the miserable game yesterday at Yankee Stadium. I'm done seeing the Red Sox. They broke my heart yesterday and nearly got me arrested for assault. At least this time I wasn't fighting an 11 year-old. No, this time it was his trash father...." -- Sox fan Sara Stonner, New York City

NEW YORK NIGHTMARE

Pete Can't Even Compete

Not ready to go Pedro is a no-show like D-Lowe. No excuses necessary for sorry Sunday effort. Subtract the division from the equation.

Sox played like Ryder Cup Runnerups 11-1

Manny can't get the ball out of the infield while Tek is 0-for-34 for the Bronx

More Good News and Positive Signs: No-Name Baltimore Oriole Lefthander Facing Sox on First Game Back from Road Trip

BRONX BLOWEOUT

Fore! Yankees 14 Boston 4

Gidget Goes South in Gotham

A Real EmBorasment and a Tubthumping

We'll be singing
When we're winning
We'll be singing

He gets knocked down but he gets up again
You're never going to keep him down
He gets knocked down but he gets up again
You're never going to keep him down
He gets knocked down but he gets up again
You're never going to keep him down

Pissing the game away
Throwing to the wrong base

He drinks a whisky drink
He drinks a vodka drink
He drinks a lager drink
He drinks a cider drink
His agent tries to remind him of the good times
He's been in games that remind him of the better times:

"Oh Derek Lowe, Derek Lowe, Derek Lowe..."

He gets knocked down but he gets up again
You're never going to keep him down
He gets knocked down but he gets up again
You're never going to keep him down
He gets knocked down but he gets up again
You're never going to keep him down

Pissing the game away
Throwing to the wrong base

He drinks a whisky drink
He drinks a vodka drink
He drinks a lager drink
He drinks a cider drink
He sings the songs that remind him of the good times
He sings the songs that remind him of the better times:

"Don't cry for me, George Steinbrenner..."

He gets knocked down but he gets up again
You're never going to keep him down
He gets knocked down but he gets up again
You're never going to keep him down
He gets knocked down but he gets up again
You're never going to keep him down

We'll be singing
When we're winning
We'll be singing

Johnny Apple Seed

Damon Plants a Game Winner,
Sox Confidence Grows

Nixon, Roberts, Cabby, Johnny Cash in on Rivera Comeback Kids Win It in Ninth,
Foulke Closes it Out 3-2

Money Grab

Catch of the Year

Let's Go Bronxon Arroyo

No 'tip your cap' to them. No 'turn the page,' no 'whatever it happens,' no 'we'll get 'em tomorrow.' No excuses. No marathons. No backdoor wildcard.

B.ullpen K.ey?

"BK had a hip flexor problem at the tail end of the minor league season, he's here working out, getting ready both physically and mentally for 2005. He's been making progress of late. He's going to throw a couple of side sessions. If that goes well, I wouldn't rule out his contributing this year."-- GM Theo Epstein, Red Sox Pre-Game Show on WEEI

TWENTY
SOMETHING
SPECIAL

There's a New Scheriff in Town

Damon, Millar Go the Distance for Schill
Sox Trump Tampa 11-4

A Ton of Seats

The Boston Red Sox announced their intention to add an additional two thousand seats to venerable Fenway Park. In the past few seasons, the Sox have modified the ballpark by adding the Monster Seats and the right field roof seats without changing the atmosphere or the character of the venue. New box seats have also crept ever closer to the playing surface, with fans able to distinguish the cologne of players (not Bartolo) and sprinkle in comments about players’ nose hair.

Where exactly will another 2000 seats fit in the major leagues’ smallest park? It’s too obvious to suggest that the box seats are moving in even closer. Fans need chain mail to watch from the boxes now.

Only through some true imagination can Theo and the Trio squeeze in the anticipated seats, that at fifty bucks a pop, could add another eight million dollars or so (plus concessions) to Sox coffers.

‘Gondola seats’. The Sox intend to string a series of wires from the roof boxes on both sides of the field. After using the facilities, Sox fans would board gondolas suspended from the wires and peer through glass-bottoms to the field below. Of course, the gondolas would be in play, creating yet additional caroms for enemy outfielders to overcome. Painting the bottom of the gondolas white might even confuse Minnesota outfielders.

‘Laugh-in seats’. On the NBC ‘Rowan and Martin Laugh-In’ show, characters appeared from behind a wall through ‘window’ seats. The Sox will add hundreds of ‘window’ or ‘laugh-in’ seats in the wall. During the game, the windows are opened, and any balls hit through the windows are ground-rule doubles. Of course, during visitor at-bats, if a ball were launched toward the wall, fans would close the windows to keep the balls in play, reducing the chances of extra bases.

‘Triangle seats’. The Sox could install many hundreds of seats in the centerfield ‘triangle’ adjacent to the bullpen. Players drive only a handful of balls during each homestand into this remote area of the park, so run production would probably increase marginally. Free agent pitchers need not apply. The seats could alternatively be named the ‘Wayback Wasdin’ seats.

‘Pole seats’. The Pesky Pole goes largely underutilized. The Sox intend to construct seats suspended from this landmark, too. If the pole is sixty feet high, with seats every six feet, then another ten seats are projected. It does give ‘standing room’ new meaning. Getting fans to sign off on liability concerns shouldn’t be much of a problem with such a unique vantage point.

‘Backstop seats’. The upper portion of the screen could surely hold Generation X-ers, particularly those who would be willing to ‘camp out’ in designated squares, lying either prone or supine during the game.

‘Hammock seats’. The back wall of the bleachers provides yet another opportunity for profit, er, entertainment. Fans could easily hang suspended from either pitons and ropes or specially designed hammock seats.

‘Helo seats’. Currently, with the high cost of fuel, the Sox have elected not to put fans in specially designed Sikorsky MH-53 Sea Stallion helicopters. The Sea Stallion has a large fuel capacity with extended loiter time and can spend up to six hours on station. A specially configured Sea Stallion could easily fit up to fifty Sox fans, giving them a unique perspective of the ballpark, also providing heavy armament should crowd control come into play from Jeff Nelson or other surly bullpen types. A fleet of ten Sea Stallions would be noisy, but also assist in keeping the field dry should inclement weather arise.

I’m sure that other readers can develop some equally cost-effective seating plans for Ye Olde Towne Team. After all, a team that sold out its entire eighty-one game schedule surely counts a lot of dreamers among its fans.

- Ron S.

See the 20-game winner tomorrow on Today (8:30am)

Sox Keep Comin'

Bats out of Hell: Kentucky Fried Kickin'. Bellhorn Makes Noise. Nixon's the One. Fire in the Belli.

Wake Shaky Again. Bottom Line, Sox Win 8-6

Tim gives a better performance in his Bernie & Phyl's commercials

Pen is Hell Bent: Myers, Mendoza, Timlin, Foulke Finish Off D-Rays

It was pretty ugly, but the "W" is beautiful

New York Times on Jason E. F. Hutton:
"When Jason Varitek speaks, people listen."

Ramirez Ramirez