Breaking News:
Canseco to Put Sox On Again

The Real Surreal Life: Jose Canseco Bags VH1 Series to
Star with World Series Champs

With Dreams of Boston, Jose's Pumped and Juiced in Pawtucket

Renowned author, admitted steroid user and former Bash Brother Jose Canseco announced today that he will attempt to return to major league baseball for an 18th season with the Boston Red Sox in 2005. Sox GM Theo Epstein, who called this the biggest signing since Byung Hyun Kim, is expected to make an official announcement this afternoon.

Canseco, who sources say signed the minor league deal yesterday, is practicing with the Pawtucket Red Sox, where he is expected to be the starting left fielder when the team opens the Triple-A season in Indianapolis on April 7. Canseco hopes to be called up to Boston by June 1 and serve as the team's right-handed DH and fifth outfielder.

While most Sox welcome Canseco back to the team he played for in 1995-96, Curt Schilling, who will be Canseco's teammate on the PawSox to start the season, reportedly is not happy with the possibility of sharing a clubhouse with Canseco, whom he called a "liar" during the congressional hearings last month ... oh, and while you are digesting this story, don't forget to check the calendar.