D-Lowe Caught Hiding Out at Fenway,
Forcibly Removed, Sent Back to LA

Breaking News: Los Angeles Dodger pitcher Derek Lowe, who returned to Boston to accept his World Series ring yesterday, was found hiding in the storage room of the new Game On! bar in Fenway Park early this morning. After negotiating with Theo Epstein, Larry Lucchino, and LA general manager Paul DePodesta over the phone for three hours in an effort to get him back to the Dodgers in time for his next start, a Boston Police S.W.A.T. team moved in to forcibly remove Lowe from the Fenway facility and escorted him to Logan airport where he was walked onto the United Airlines 747 that flew him back to LAX to rejoin his new team. Sources say Lowe had hoped he could negotiate a trade that would have brought him back to the Red Sox in exchange for Embedded Yankee David Wells, who would have gone back to the west coast to take Lowe's spot on the Dodger's pitching staff. ESPN's Harold Reynolds and John Kruk were "disgusted" by Lowe's attempt to rejoin the Red Sox and said this never would have happened if Tommy Lasorda were still managing the west coast club. This was the second time in two months that force was required to remove Lowe from Red Sox property as he had to be removed from City of Palms park in Fort Myers, Fla. prior to the the start of spring training in February.