You Don't Sato ...

Catching Up with Daisuke Matsuzaka and
His Translator, Tak Sato, Over the Weekend

Q: Have you had any success in finding a place to live? Do you prefer to live in the suburbs like Schilling or to live in the city like Manny?

A: (via Tak Sato): Money is good but Borat should have gotten me more.

Q: Do you respond better to a tough disciplinarian like La Russa, or to a "players' manager" like Grady?

A: (via Tak Sato): Brady looks ready to take the Pats deep into the playoffs now.

Q: How do you plan to pitch to Derek Jeter?

A: (via Tak Sato): No cheater. I watched the World Series, that was dirt on Rogers’ hand.

Q: When you go to Paris, do you stay at the Hilton?

A: (via Tak Sato): I don’t know what Britney was thinking, but that girl is trouble.

Q: Are you concerned about the health problems with J.D. Drew?

A: (via Tak Sato): No because Romo is the quarterback of the future in Dallas.

Q: The first time you pitch at Fenway, how it is going to feel when you walk out of the tunnel?

A: (via Tak Sato): The tunnel better get fixed soon, the traffic is terrible in Southie…

The preceding interview is a parody. A real interview with Dice-K via Tak Sato would have been much more confusing.